How would you feel about having a male midwide

[Lardlizard]

Just interested in the points of view

It’s like men primary school teachers, isn’t It? They are always so much better than women......

Mine was in 2009, teyem. In London.

I had a male doctor deliver DC1 and I had no problem with that- it wasn't a choice, it was necessary for my health and DCs. I am grateful that he was there. Would I have preferred a female? Yes.

However...a male doctor tried to turn DC during labour without pain relief (I can't remember consenting to this) and two male paras took me from a maternity unit to a different hospital which left me feel violated and humiliated. I had PTSD afterwards and it still remains in some small way now.

There are times when seeing a fellow woman can be reassuring and that is what every fibre of my being wanted at that time.

I don't think I could have coped with post natal care from a male after that experience. I have been seeing a wonderful female GP and a female physio since.

Surely you wouldn't be suggesting that we should feel uncomfortable allowing a person to do a job on the basis of their gender?

Just would feel more relaxed - same reason i prefer a female for smear tests and massages. I was puking, moaning, shit myself - had loads of intervention and ended up both times in theatre and am grateful to the men who helped me. Also preferred that the midwife who visited me after birth was female when she took me into my front room, pulled the curtains and snipped the stitches which I’d been in agony for days with - thanks Su Su.

“Surely you wouldn't be suggesting that we should feel uncomfortable allowing a person to do a job on the basis of their gender?”

Do you mean their sex? If so, yes I am.

There was a horrific case recently where a woman was raped whilst in a coma by one on her carers. The rape was discovered when it was obvious she was pregnant. One of the first changes of practice the organisation implemented was that a male carer could not enter a female patients room without being accompanied by a female member of staff. The new risk assessment of that organisation understood that males are a risk to females.
DH has never hurt a woman but he was talking to me the other day about how concerned he felt when out jogging. Due to following the 5k instructions he had ran past a female jogger then slowed down then ran past her again. He was concerned he might have accidentally frightened her. He did not for one second feel he was being discriminated against for being a man but then again he is not an arse.

It wouldnt bother me at all.

Same Bertrand yes, if you mean sex, yes, i am too absolutely suggesting that.

Surely you are not suggesting that women be forced to open their legs to men if they feel uncomfortable with that?

There are words for that FFS

Do you mean their sex? If so, yes I am

Me too

Who are you referring to Smother?
I haven't seen anyone suggesting that at all.

dey

mumunderthemoon im guessing

“Surely you wouldn't be suggesting that we should feel uncomfortable allowing a person to do a job on the basis of their gender?”

On the basis of their sex, yes of course.

Because :

There was a horrific case recently where a woman was raped whilst in a coma by one on her carers. The rape was discovered when it was obvious she was pregnant. One of the first changes of practice the organisation implemented was that a male carer could not enter a female patients room without being accompanied by a female member of staff

Do people really think we discriminate under certain circumstances because of the women doing the discriminating? Seriously?

Surely you wouldn't be suggesting that we should feel uncomfortable allowing a person to do a job on the basis of their gender?

their sex and if it involves putting their hands inside my vagina, yes absolutely. It’s called bodily autonomy.

My midwife could literally be a three headed beagle and I would care as long as they had all the drugs.

We are talking about letting someone put their fingers into your vagina etc, surely it is the most normal and natural thing in the world to feel less comfortable having a male do this? No woman should be shamed for feeling uncomfortable with having males doing something so intimate to them.

When I become elderly, if I need somebody to help me wash, dress and go the loo then I absolutely would only want another female then as well. I would for my own mother/grandmother too. Is this wrong?

No woman should be shamed for feeling uncomfortable with having males doing something so intimate to them.

You'd think so, wouldn't you.

It never ceases to amaze me how many convoluted ways people can come up with to tell women that their boundaries are offensive.

I had females and I always request a female dr for smears, minor procedures etc. That said in the USA most people have ob's and many are male

When I become elderly, if I need somebody to help me wash, dress and go the loo then I absolutely would only want another female then as well.

That's highly likely as well, since most carers are females.
Every one of my elderly male relatives have been cared for, washed, cleaned, catheterised, etc. by females. They have no choice.

I would rather not have a male midwife. When I had ds I had a female midwife with me all day. When the doctor came to check there were 2, 1 male 1 female and it was the female who examined me. It was her who performed my emcs too.

There was an article in the LA times last year about ob/gynae drs in the USA and how they are becoming increasingly female- over 85% newly qualified ones are women and how a lot of senior (male) drs are not happy about how it’s turning into a female-dominated area of medicine, saying men are being excluded/oppressed etc and you’re going to end with lower-quality care A lot of the response questioned why they were focussing on obs/gynae when paediatrics is also becoming increasingly female-dominated. Also the fact that many other areas of medicine remain overwhelmingly male-dominated (surgeons and so on)

Tbh I think it makes sense for it to be predominantly female territory. Looking back to the time where 99% of gynaecologists were men is more bizarre and reflects the patriarchal society- nurses and Carers would be female but of course the doctors had to be men. It’s odd that the experts of female reproductive systems and genitalia were male. It also turned childbirth into a case of ‘the male doctor delivering the baby’ and managing birth, taking credit away from women because it was men who safely got babies into the world.

It’s an area where you deal with women at their most vulnerable and have the potential to exercise a lot of control over them, their bodies and their autonomy. Something sits deeply uncomfortable with me if men have a problem with it becoming female-dominated or women expressing a preference for female hcps.

I don't know what I would have done at the time but knowing what I know now there is no way I would have a male midwife.