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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Why is not wearing a bra so unacceptable?

120 replies

ShiveringCoyote · 05/04/2019 07:18

I always wear a bra to work. I don't really wear one at other times. I'm starting to wonder why it's not acceptable for women not to wear bras in public but men don't have the added expense or hassle. Several of the men I work with would have varying degrees of chestiness ( Wink ), and not one of them has been heavily advised to wear a bra in a professional environment.

OP posts:
IntoValhalla · 05/04/2019 07:23

Because boobs have become hideously sexualised by our society.
When I’m not pregnant, I’m practically flat chested and rarely where a bra. I only really wear one if I’m wearing something with a very low neckline, or something with sheer material and want to cover up a bit more. Other than that, I don’t bother because I don’t need one for the support - the girls aren’t heavy or bouncy! There’s not enough there to bounce Blush

ErrolTheDragon · 05/04/2019 07:23

How does anyone know whether you wear a bra or not?

YourSarcasmIsDripping · 05/04/2019 07:24

Because of..

Saggy boobs(the horror)
Perky boobs (the horrors)
Big boobs
Small boobs
Nipples (faints).

MIdgebabe · 05/04/2019 07:29

To prevent jealously / solidarity with the larger community’s?

Original poster
ShiveringCoyote · 05/04/2019 07:32

Errol probably by the shape and sway of my breasts in my clothing. I have jiggly boobs.
Sexualisation is very true. I'm starting to think women are duped into thinking they need rather than want to wear a bra. As an older woman my breasts have started to sag, it's not the end of the world. I am post menopausal, I have had four children, I have breastfed. No one is telling men that their saggy chests are awful.

OP posts:
Luglio · 05/04/2019 07:32

Well. I wear a bra to work because otherwise I'd need trousers with a bigger waistband.

Diddleysquat · 05/04/2019 07:33

Is it stipulated in a dress code? I wear a bra because I like it. If I didn’t like it I would just as happily go without and assume no one would know any better.

SleepingSloth · 05/04/2019 07:33

I'm starting to wonder why it's not acceptable for women not to wear bras in public

Of course it's acceptable. Just don't wear one if you don't want to.

Drizzlehair · 05/04/2019 07:34

I'm large chested and comfort aside I wouldn't go braless because I'd be bouncing all over the place and it would be distracting for straight men. Also I'd worry that I'd sit funny and end up with one nipple pointing at the ceiling and another at the floor and I'd look wonky. A brakeeps things less random

So a clear recognition from me that it's all about other people's perceptions of my boobs in either sexual or negative ways

I don't even go braless at home because of the second of these reasons, more to do with unease at natural movement than my partners reaction he would be very happy for me to go braless permanently as he likes being distracted by bouncing

Original poster
ShiveringCoyote · 05/04/2019 07:34

MIdgebabe they are boobs, not part of the peace process Wink

OP posts:
ErrolTheDragon · 05/04/2019 07:39

Why are your colleagues looking at your chest area?

Maybe I'm out of touch (I work from home so my dress code is entirely optional!Grin) but it sounds like they're not behaving very professionally.

skybluee · 05/04/2019 07:39

I don't wear one, but I wear vest tops (like summer tops) underneath my clothes which you can't see so I suppose you can't tell. I'm a AA tho and I do feel lucky for that. I'd imagine it's more an issue of comfort if you're the other end of the scale.

Well probably it's viewed as not acceptable because of the stupidity that is - men's bare chest in public = fine, women's chest = horror and outrage, disgusting slut etc.

Bankofenglandfiver · 05/04/2019 07:39

I wear bras because I have big boobs and I’d get back ache.

Sometimes you can still see my nipples even with them on, if I have a tight top on.

I don’t wear tight tops to work, just as I don’t wear micro minis to work.

I dress appropriately for my seniority and I don’t have an issue.

But. If I didn’t want to wear a bra I wouldn’t.

Potplant2 · 05/04/2019 07:43

Because I’m a 32H and without a bra, except occasionally round the house, my boobs flop around and quickly start to really hurt. And any movement beyond a very slow walk is uncomfortable or painful.

HorsewithnoDoubt · 05/04/2019 07:44

There is a "free the nipple" campaign isn't there?

But, yeah, it's all about that horror. Anyone remember how Lara Croft had HUGE breasts but weirdly no nipples? Perhaps it is because they remind the world of that utterly disgusting thing - breastfeeding.

There is a special place in hell for people who object to that activity.

Original poster
ShiveringCoyote · 05/04/2019 07:45

Errol I was in work yesterday and just had a mind wander which lead me to do a quick survey of floor staff ( visually, not like I was handing out leaflets). We have a uniform which is quite fitted.

OP posts:
Fairylea · 05/04/2019 07:45

I’ve stopped wearing a bra most of the time. I’m a 30G and I just find them all so uncomfortable. I just don’t really care what people think of me anymore. The only time I bother is if teenage dd is bringing friends home or I’m out with her as she finds it embarrassing and I don’t think she’d want her friends to see my nipples, but otherwise I freeboob.

nether · 05/04/2019 07:47

I'm going to mention the substance of this thread to my colleague

But I can predict her reply will be along the lines of:

"I don't want to whole world to know about my mastectomy all the time"

ErrolTheDragon · 05/04/2019 07:51

I don't think the OP was implying that women who want (or need) to wear a bra shouldn't.

Ellenborough · 05/04/2019 07:53

If men didn't didn't wear underpants and either wore very tight trousers where we could see the clear outline of their penis and testicles, or wore loose fitting trousers in thin material so we could see their penis and testicles through it, or jiggling about or poking out of the legs of their shorts, then that would be distracting (whether in a pleasant or unpleasant way, depending on your viewpoint and the man in question) and therefore unacceptable/inappropriate. Especially in a professional /work setting.

It's the same with women and bras. Although small chested women can often get away with it so long as nipples are reasonably well obscured with a camisole or something.

It shouldn't be a difficult thing to get your head around.

Original poster
ShiveringCoyote · 05/04/2019 07:54

nether I'm not for one second saying no woman should ever wear a bra, it's choosing to.

OP posts:
Sux2buthen · 05/04/2019 07:54

Penis isn't equivalent to breasts Hmm

JessicaWakefieldSVH · 05/04/2019 07:55

I agree there is an expectation. Many women still don’t, including myself and I am a D Cup and petite so it does make people stare more. I just don’t care anymore and think bras are a waste of money, for me, and unnecessary. I think it’s the nipple thing most people notice. Oh well Confused

JessicaWakefieldSVH · 05/04/2019 07:56

Penis and breasts are not comparable. Breasts aren’t a sex organ!

Original poster
ShiveringCoyote · 05/04/2019 07:57

A penis is not the same as boobs.

OP posts: