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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Why is not wearing a bra so unacceptable?

120 replies

ShiveringCoyote · 05/04/2019 07:18

I always wear a bra to work. I don't really wear one at other times. I'm starting to wonder why it's not acceptable for women not to wear bras in public but men don't have the added expense or hassle. Several of the men I work with would have varying degrees of chestiness ( Wink ), and not one of them has been heavily advised to wear a bra in a professional environment.

OP posts:
Terfnserf · 05/04/2019 08:58

If you only have one boob due to mastectomy you need bra for the fake boob, no way would I have been brave enough to go into the office lopsided!

JessicaWakefieldSVH · 05/04/2019 09:30

Only those of small boobage would question this. I wish I were you!!!

Nope, I’ve got bigger than average boobs, and I don’t wear a bra. I haven’t for ages and despite breastfeeding for a year they’re still holding themselves up. I reckon not wearing a bra helps that

barelove · 05/04/2019 09:54

If men didn't didn't wear underpants and either wore very tight trousers where we could see the clear outline of their penis and testicles, or wore loose fitting trousers in thin material so we could see their penis and testicles through it, or jiggling about or poking out of the legs of their shorts, then that would be distracting (whether in a pleasant or unpleasant way, depending on your viewpoint and the man in question) and therefore unacceptable/inappropriate. Especially in a professional /work setting

Isn't that blame culture? I had a male friend who, for their comfort, preferred to go kamikaze in thin harem trousers so his penis could often be seen swinging about. If I chose to look, I might be distracted but that's my bag not his. If I go out in a vest top with no bra, is it really my responsibility to 'not distract' people? Likewise, if I (by not caring to 'not distract' them) attract attention - lewd, aggressive or otherwise - is that also my fault?

LassOfFyvie · 05/04/2019 10:06

I had a male friend who, for their comfort, preferred to go kamikaze in thin harem trousers so his penis could often be seen swinging about. If I chose to look, I might be distracted but that's my bag not his

You mean commando not kamikaze. I don't care if it is "blame culture" - your friend sounds like at best a prat and at worst someone getting a kick out of the fact his penis can be seen.

HorsewithnoDoubt · 05/04/2019 10:06

I just googled "bra wearing by country" and this was the first thing that came up:

"As western fashion spreads around the world, so does breast cancer. You will often see a culture that is westernized in its business world, where working women wear bras, while other women are more traditional and do not wear bras. In these mixed cultures, breast cancer is found in the bra-wearing women."

DancelikeEmmaGoldman · 05/04/2019 10:06

I rarely wear one at home, but mostly do when I’m out. But I was tired and unhappy today and couldn’t face one more constriction. Do I went out without one, respectably covered up but braless. And if anyone noticed or cared, I didn’t see it.

LassOfFyvie · 05/04/2019 10:13

I don't believe that link about higher cancer rates for 1 second.

www.nhs.uk/news/cancer/wearing-a-bra-doesnt-raise-breast-cancer-risk/

I would also suggest that the reality is countries wear bra wearing is the norm have better rates of detecting and treating cancer- not that bras cause cancer.

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 05/04/2019 10:18

Yet society accepts the horror that is men walking around all summer in public places topless. Massive double standard, as so many have said our boobs have been so sexualised over time the merest hint of side boob or a nipple and everyone looses their shit.

ErrolTheDragon · 05/04/2019 10:22

I don't believe that link about higher cancer rates for 1 second.

Me neither. Correlation is not causation. The westernised women may have adopted other practices which increase the probability of breast cancer (food, lower breastfeeding rates perhaps)

hihellohihey · 05/04/2019 10:24

I do not wear a bra because I do not have any tits

SleepingSloth · 05/04/2019 10:30

Yet society accepts the horror that is men walking around all summer in public places topless

Do they? It would be 'looked down upon' where I live if any male past the age of 12 did this. I think most people would be a bit 🙄.

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 05/04/2019 10:33

Sloth can I come and live with you? Grin

Yep happens here a lot. I think inwardly people probably are horrified but it's just accepted. Whereas if I was to rock up to my local park with my norks out the reaction would be quite different.

LassOfFyvie · 05/04/2019 10:47

Yet society accepts the horror that is men walking around all summer in public places topless

Do they? It would be 'looked down upon' where I live if any male past the age of 12 did this. I think most people would be a bit

I'm with SleepingSloth on this. I don't think it is accepted.

Jolonglegs · 05/04/2019 10:49

I always wear a wired bra at work, partly for comfort, and partly because I don't want male colleagues staring at my boobs/nipples when I want them listening to my presentation. I've also accepted that seniority requires a certain conformance with clothing expectations, so nipples showing are out.
When I'm at home I generally wear either an unwired bra or a bralette as I don't like my boobs swinging around.
However, I did try going braless/topless on a naturist beach in France some years ago, and found it quite liberating.

barelove · 05/04/2019 10:49

LassOfFyvie

I don't care if it is "blame culture" - your friend sounds like at best a prat and at worst someone getting a kick out of the fact his penis can be seen

That's very convenient for you to pick and choose when 'blame culture' suits you. I personally prefer one rule for all in this regard and would not like to be blamed for the attention I got wearing my vest top with no bra.

Also, it was very unkind of you to call my friend a prat and an exhibitionist. Unlike you this morning, he is very kind and had a testicular cancer scare which made him choose to care for his body by wearing loose fitting clothes.

I thought this was a site for intelligent chat, not a playground slanging match Sad

LassOfFyvie · 05/04/2019 10:54

The thing about bras is, for me, not wearing a bra makes me feel cold. I don't know why a relatively small garment makes such a difference but it does.

Men in formal suits and shirts have the problem of "visible vest". Expensive shirts will be heavyweight cotton which avoids visible vest but thinner cotton shows it. Men have the option of being cold or "visible vest"

WholeLottaLottie · 05/04/2019 10:57

I'm an A cup and daily i generally wear a bra most days, I've never actually thought why... its not like I need the support mine barely move when I jump let alone any other time. I have to wear for work I have a white blouse but from now on if outfit permits in going bra less...Grin

SleepingSloth · 05/04/2019 10:58

Sloth can I come and live with you?

Of course. Grin It definitely wouldn't be looked upon favourably here. I've seen teen boys being told to put their tops on by security guards in shops. Most men would be totally embarrassed to go round with their top off, even the ripped ones...lol. It's seen as a bit 'chavvy', although I don't like that word and the boys/men definitely wouldn't want to come under that category. 😬. I feel like a snob now, I don't really mind to be honest, it's just how it is here.

LassOfFyvie · 05/04/2019 10:58

Unlike you this morning, he is very kind and had a testicular cancer scare which made him choose to care for his body by wearing loose fitting clothes

He still does not have to display his penis. Oddly my husband managed to avoid displaying his penis when he had a similar scare.

There is no comparison with a female nipple showing through- none at all. I'm astonished you would even compare the 2.

HorsewithnoDoubt · 05/04/2019 11:00

But men don't find wearing a vest to be uncomfortable.

Do they?

So it's not really a fair comparison.

The trope is a woman getting home and kicking off her painful shoes and the bra comes a close second.

LassOfFyvie · 05/04/2019 11:00

I personally prefer one rule for all in this regard and would not like to be blamed for the attention I got wearing my vest top with no bra

Seriously- you think a glimpse of female nipple is the same as a penis being visibly displayed?

lhw92 · 05/04/2019 11:01

For women who are completely flat chested they’re still expected to cover their nipples but men aren’t

HorsewithnoDoubt · 05/04/2019 11:03

There is no comparison with a female nipple showing through- none at all. I'm astonished you would even compare the 2.

Yep. Agree with Lass. Compare like with like. So the question really is, why do people get so upset over women's chests but not men's?

Sexism, right?

LassOfFyvie · 05/04/2019 11:05

But men don't find wearing a vest to be uncomfortable

Do they?

I didn't say they did. A man's vest being visible through a shirt is more of a shaming, wimpy, nerdy thing.

The trope is a woman getting home and kicking off her painful shoes and the bra comes a close second

I don't wear either shoes or bras which are painful. It's not difficult.

woman19 · 05/04/2019 11:05

Yep, I agree OP

It'd be funny if men ( who wanted to be taken seriously professionally and intellectually Wink) had to wear a dick bra.

Under wired of course. Wink