If I were to wake up with a male body tomorrow I would...

[Nightwitch]

And if such a thing was possible, if rare, I would probably have a wank. Just to see what it's like from the other side.
Then, I'd try to guess my clothes and shoe size and order some stuff off the Internet so I could leave the house.
At work, since I speak to people on the phone a lot. I'd marvel at how much more my clients are willing to listen and take what I say on board so much more.
When I go to the gym, I use the male changing rooms since that's what my body says and I know how my male body will disturb the women there.
I still put the welfare of others first because I was socialised female...

I would definite wank, do some heavy gardening to take full advantage of my male strength, and then spend the rest of the day driving around aggressively and swearing at other road users.

Feel good about shaving my face rather than miserable like I do as a woman.
I'd go to work ask HR to check if my pay scale is correct.
Open all the jars in my kitchen.
Play a round of golf to see if I can get over the bloody bunker on the 5th hole.

Then I'd be a really nice bloke for the rest of the day...
Give up my seat on the tube for pregnant women instead of carefully avoiding eye contact. If there were no handy pregnant women around, I'd stay in my seat but keep my knees out of other's personal space.
I wouldn't call random women "Love" or leer at them.
I'd listen to anyone who knows their stuff regardless of their sex and not tell them how to do their job.
I'd totally rock wearing a suit and tie.

I'd hide from my breastfed children, they'd be absolutely furious with the disappearing mammories. But in the upside maybe I'd have a chance to take a shit with out a toddler on my lap.
The thought of having a psnis actually revolts me.

Eww, am I the only person who doesn't want to try it at all, even for a day!?

Nope I guess that makes me innately comfortable in my gender identity so I should accept the label in a feminine, delicate way.

Take advantage of a properly functioning pelvic floor and go for a run, maybe do some skipping, potentially even take the kids to the trampoline centre they’re always wanting to go to.
Marvel at how it is physically impossible to clean the toilet.
Hope there’s enough expressed breastmilk in the freezer to last until I change back.

If you have a OH have they also changed sex?

If we are both men - fix the tractor, finish the roof insulation (started but it is fucking heavy for me), do the wood (with a proper chainsaw not the kids/womans version I use now), work in the forest, move loads of furniture we are ignoring but need to move.
Generally all the heavy jobs that we do anyway but without me getting stupidly sore and tired.

Guess I'd wank at some point but one organsm and lie down seems a lot of fuss about nothing.

Now if OH is a women - sex, sex and sex - assuming he (she?) doesn't have a headache of course ;-)

with a proper chainsaw not the kids/womans version I use now

Sorry to derail but: there are women’s chainsaws??? Where can I get one (for when I change back into a woman and still need to lop three feet off the height of my hedge)?

I quite like the idea of my OH as a woman - I probably wouldn’t want to change him back. He’d almost certainly be fine with that.

I'd buy a fuck-off suit then hang out at the coolest pub in London, just being on my own without it being considered weird or an invitation, throwing out the odd conversational remark to the bar staff & other drinkers, cock of the walk. I have ALWAYS wanted to do that.

I’d also like to find out for real how difficult it to call out other men on sexism and misogyny. And whether all the men who tell me they always do really do.

I’d also like to find out for real how difficult it to call out other men on sexism and misogyny. And whether all the men who tell me they always do really do.

You'd have to still be as capable of actually noticing the sexism and misogyny in the first place, of course.

I too wondered why wasn't miss triggs on the end of 'his' knob at the end of the night. Jurgen cos that's real too!

I would find the biggest brick wall in history and then try to wee my own name on it

I rarely LITERALLY laugh out loud at a post, but

I'd wee everywhere, after I'd spent a couple of hours trying to suck myself off..

@oldandwornout

Tbh I think that one really wants to wake up as a male dog.

@CardsforKittens
It is just a smaller than standard chain saw. For lighter work, smaller trees etc, it isn't really marketed as a woman's chain saw.

SmotherofFive QueenKubau Certainly I would not bonk Miss Triggs. I am a gentleman, for these 24 hours. Nothing I have done is anything a gentleman would be embarrassed to have on the front page of The Times.

Leaving Miss Triggs un chatted up was a very deliberate decision.

No, I understand that you wouldn't want that making front page

Well, this thread seems to have caught the attention of the lovely Rachel Mckinnon.
Apparently we're all genital obsessed shit heads. Nice.

Shit bags even.

Honestly that Twitterer is best left shouting into their echo chamber, and not given the oxygen of attention here.

Takes one to know one, I guess.

^ True enough.

I'd leave the toilet seat up, will not clean the hob after making a bacon sandwich, piss standing up (and not close the bathroom door) sit on the sofa watching TV with my hand on my privates, and offer to open ANY jar.

I learn from what I see

Have to say, I don't like the thought of waking up as a man at all. It makes me shudder. Maybe because I'm breastfeeding - my hormones are rebelling at the thought.
Just as well it's a physical impossibility.

Arf at the amount of wanking going on if there was magic overnight though.

I dressed as my male boss for fancy dress party once .
It changed the way I spoke, walked , ate , drank ....He is very confident so I had to fake it . It felt good .
Ps I used a leek .