If I were to wake up with a male body tomorrow I would...

[Nightwitch]

And if such a thing was possible, if rare, I would probably have a wank. Just to see what it's like from the other side.
Then, I'd try to guess my clothes and shoe size and order some stuff off the Internet so I could leave the house.
At work, since I speak to people on the phone a lot. I'd marvel at how much more my clients are willing to listen and take what I say on board so much more.
When I go to the gym, I use the male changing rooms since that's what my body says and I know how my male body will disturb the women there.
I still put the welfare of others first because I was socialised female...

@shiveringtimber Surely you'd want to get into a fight? or am I the only violent wannabe man on the planet

I think I'd march up the street, chest bare, shouting 'IS THERE ANY MAN WHO CAN TAKE ME? WWWWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRRRRR'.

As I said, I have thought about this a lot.

I don't think I'd make a very good gentleman. I'd be more of a thug. Well my imaginary male self is a thug.

Get my car fixed at man rates.
Have a fight with the letchy cunt who works in Premier.
Put the hanging baskets up.
I wouldn't bother with a wank it seems to turn you into a tosser.

I've often said that it's a good job I'm not a man or I'd be dead by now as I'm a feisty little fucker. If I was a man, I'd like to be a tall man and just punch any cunt who looked at me crooked. I'd be a lunatic. I think it's safer that I'm a woman.

I actually spat my coffee out at this:

Put the hanging baskets up.

PMSL. That is not on my When I'm a Man fantasy at all!

Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting in a fight. As long as I was fit. I'd buy a Maserati and drive super-fast, weaving through traffic like an asshole. I'd play rugby or some other aggressive sport. I'd get wasted and shout and shove other men around, and smash their faces in. I'd play lead guitar in a heavy metal band, or the drums. And I'd sing and spit and growl, smash my guitar to bits on stage and scream. I'd do coke and have more sex. Then I'd be PM and tell lots of lies and bullshit everyone. I'd have anal sex with another guy, cruise gay bars. I'd smoke a big cigar, see what that's like. I'd blow a wad of cash on a beautifully fitted bespoke suit. I'd do mergers and acquisitions, I'd play the market, call my broker, put my beautifully shod feet on my massive desk and lean back in my big leather chair while gazing out at the sky. I'd fly my own plane, or maybe a helicopter. I'd fight in a war and shoot the enemy, I'd crawl through trenches.

I remember getting into an argument ( a lady argument) with this tiny woman and coming home and telling DP, I could have taken her out - she was only up to my chin. DP took about 20 minutes to speak. Because he was in a crease laughing at the notion of me thinking I was bigger that someone and could have taken her out also he knows I wouldn't say boo to a goose - but I do talk a good game. I think he wet himself in the process. As I said, I think the Lord made the right choice when I was made female. I firmly believe I'd be in prison now if I was born a man.

Hope your post was ironic, shiveringtimber - you can do pretty much all of those things as a woman. Even the anal sex if you can hook up with a straight man who’s into pegging.

My god, turns out it’s not just us men who are wankers. Quite a few women are too. In my experience, the wanking is fun but doesn’t really compare to an enthusiastic partner who wants to do it and other things with you. Although even when they do, a crafty tug now and then is nice. By the way, the ability to do press ups is not strictly required.

Peeing standing up is useful but I usually sit down because no aiming is required.

A fight is possibly the most terrifying thing and to be avoided at all costs unless you are a total psychopath. Most fights are caused by the lack of willingness to lose face so two scared men who don’t really want to fight are forced by their own egos to do it anyway. A win is a huge relief and a loss is humiliating beyond belief.

I'll fight ya!!!

I think I'd be this kind of man.

Anyone else finding it amusing that a man has ventured into the Feminist Board.

Can we claw at him? Pretty please. I've sharpened my nails

@travellinglighter You're very lucky I'm not a man, as if I was, I'd be an Irish man. Never known one to lose a fight (yes the fuckers keep on fighting until they're arrested lol). So you'd be dead by now. For intruding. This is a woman's space. You can back out now slowly.

My post was absolutely tongue in cheek.

My ex was arrested with his father!!! for defending the brother who was being set upon by another group of lads (on Christmas Eve). So the story goes, a police officer came up behind the Dad (small village so would be well known as he trained the local team) and thinking it was someone else he elbowed the cop in the face, and ex was also arrested (the brother wasn't).

My ex sang this song in the cell thinking he was some sort of political prisoner bless him

He hates the cops ever since as at dawn, the cop said to him 'COME OUT YOU SINGING GOBSHITE' I'm still laughing. He thought he was going to stand some sort of political trial or something the fucking eegit. He was released without charge, as was his Dad His mother refused to speak to any of them, let alone cook Christmas dinner. I think it was a very sombre affair that year which I was reminded about yearly - 'the year I got arrested'.

Mind you he didn't like me telling my mother in tears laughing - sing the song when you were arrested!?

I must learn a rebel song for when I get arrested when I'm a man.

I'd wank into a cup and get the sperm frozen so that when I turn back into a woman I could clone myself MWAHAHAHAAA

Pee standing up.
Shave - pretty sure its not the terrible chore my DH makes it out to be
Open all the jars.
Revel in my shoes being both very professional AND comfy.

Have sex.

Shocked at the people wanting fights - how many men actually fight?
None of the men I know fight!

I would cut the hedge, holding the hedge trimmers up for the 45 mins it takes really drains me, and DH is at work so unable to do it.
Then I'd probably spend the rest of the day playing with it.

it would only be Ok if I knew it was going to happen. otherwise it would be horrifying, obvs

but if I was expecting it.,,,

do my Jillian Michaels DVD and see how different my body is
walk the south downs way with a vastly reduced fear of coming to any harm
ejaculate (what the hell does that feel like??!)
enjoy the convenience of having really short hair while also being gender conforming
go somewhere like Morocco or Tunisia. going there as a western woman is horrible. what's it like as a western man?

then probably hope and pray that I turn back soon. I've been female for 40 years. I'm used to it now.

In fairness I think it's only me who wants to fight and get arrested. And sing rebel songs in prison lol.

I want to fight the Premier bloke so he can't corner women and force them to squeeze past Cosi

✊

Come on FWR with my new manly user name, a box of Kleenex and say Only 7% of women consider themselves feminists. Discuss.

I might go around showing the other men how to sit properly and non-invasively on the train and bus.

as if I was, I'd be an Irish man. Never known one to lose a fight

What if it’s between two Irish men?