‘More acceptance’ of S&M needed

[Imnobody4]

talkradio.co.uk/news/more-acceptance-needed-sm-activities-19032230392
My morning isn't starting well. Haven't heard the programme - not sure I could stand it.

Well that's for BDSM evangelists to thrash out (pardon pun)

You'll just have those with an humiliation kink flunking it on purpose. They'll be asking to be paraded in chains in the street next - they're soooo demanding.

Can you explain why this practice s referred to as ‘play’?
Play because it is pretend.

The more I've read the more BDSM seems like a mystery cult to me. Secret knowledge, levels of progression, normies who don't understand the rituals. Words which obscure reality and sanitise like 'play'. People who join then have the special knowledge.
There used to be castration cults quite recently in Russia.
The problem is that violent pornography is now ubiquitous and it will sweep away this mild (dare to I say vanilla) brand of BDSM. I would be surprised if it hadn't already made in roads into the current BDSM community.

Two points are jumping out at the mo

1. A few of the bdsm advocates have mentioned that they like being submissive because it is an escape from how they are in real life.

How come we have got to a place where people are so unhappy with their lives that they feel the need to escape it in such a way. That they are so stressed the only way to relax is to completely give up control sexually.

2. if the candles don't hurt and the clamps just look like they sting what's the point? Why use a massive whip if in reality it feels like Ken Dodds tickling stick.

Why would you go to all the effort of making the it appear like pain was involved if it isn't.

I'm not buying it.

Yes. But not by lulling them into a false sense of security about how safe they are in the BDSM "community".
No, but by helping them to better keep themselves safe, if they decide they want this type of relationship.

I love all your name changes Horse..

Aw, shucks!

I think it is important to discuss the phenomenological context of sexual fantasies (which get acted out in BDSM, etc) - where did they come from and why are they there.

I remember reading an account of an African American woman's BDSM experience where she was into being tied up, put up on a platform stripped and humiliated whilst being sold to the highest bidder. The other people involved believed that it was not racist or anything to do with slavery, but in her mind it absolutely was.

How had she come to fantasise about the degradation of her ancestors? Why was that in her mind?

Also a lot of Catholics are into kink - if you think about spending one's whole life worshipping someone who is being tortured to death on a cross and hearing about the gristly end of the saints, the whole thing about chastity and virginity being gone on and on about - it also creates a lot if psychosexual phenomenological content.

1) A few of the bdsm advocates have mentioned that they like being submissive because it is an escape from how they are in real life.
Why do people who make no money from it enjoy acting? Have you never found yourself so lost in a book that the real world melts away and you dissolve into a fictional story?
2) if the candles don't hurt and the clamps just look like they sting what's the point?
Why use a massive whip if in reality it feels like Ken Dodds tickling stick.
It is about different sensations, not pain.

I'm not buying it.

Me neither.

Like you said - if it doesn't hurt what's the ruddy point?

BDSM lite?

I Can't Believe it's not Brutal?

And why have none of the apologists addressed my question - why is it bad when you do it to yourself but not when you get someone else to do it?

So it’s all about pretending to inflict pain and humiliate. Play is pretending in order to learn and have fun. This is not play, its deviant.

Also a lot of Catholics are into kink..

I'd bloody love to see Venn diagrams on the subject.

It's like explaining jokes - all of a sudden they're not funny anymore. (even worse if you mansplain jokes....shudder)

It is about different sensations, not pain.

You can get different sensations without dressing it up to appear painful.

Just a quick note. Can you people stop putting a space after the first asterisk it's driving me nuts.

And why have none of the apologists addressed my question - why is it bad when you do it to yourself but not when you get someone else to do it?
Self harm is exactly what it says on the bottle. Harm. If you asked someone to cut you so that you could feel pain because of your mental health or as a coping mechanism for inner pain, that would be wrong too IME.
You can get different sensations without dressing it up to appear painful.
Clamps remind me of washing pegs. I don't think they look particularly painful. Nipple clamps are usually cold metal and can be adjusted to suit whichever pressure one prefers. I don't think they are designed to look painful, but really any object when used in a specific way could appear to be.

I'd bloody love to see Venn diagrams on the subject.

I reckon it would be a big circle to represent Catholics as a whole, with a smaller circle inside to represent people into kink - with just a sliver of it over the boundary outside Catholics.

Can you people stop putting a space after the first asterisk it's driving me nuts..

I've been wondering about that myself. It happens when I put the asterisk first but I agree that it's not right. I will try harder.

What drives me nuts is how commonplace (on here!) it is to see the words woman and women mixed up. Nobody has the same trouble with man and men so what the fucking fuck, eh?

Yes my autocorrect sometimes dicks around with woman and women.

However.

Many thanks for your successful asterisk usage.

Of course it's about real pain. There's been plenty written about the relationship between pleasure and pain.

Of course it's about real humiliation and degradation. There's been reams of paper written about those kinds of fetishes.

Breath play should be called death play.

It's also about wanting to be absolved of guilt and shame.

I've heard quite a few people who were smacked or beaten as kids speak nostalgically about it on a way I find a tad creepy. They speak, in particular, about the state of terrified anticipation they felt when they knew the physical punishment was coming, how they would start to long for its arrival, so then they would know while it was happening it wold be over and they could be free from the terror. They all say they in some way long for that as adults - part of them wishes they could just be given a hiding to take away the anxiety of adult life and responsibility.

Check this out for the roots of BDSM- penintents at Easter:

The roots of BDSM go thousands of years back.
400-3100 BC there is poetry and literature describing what we now call BDSM.

The roots of BDSM go thousands of years back.

Indeed it probably goes back as far as when people started enslaving.

Quite.

Aw, shucks!