Does anyone else feel this is affecting their mental health but also feel that it’s too important to walk away from?

[Destinysdaughter]

I do. I’m on MN and Twitter every day and I feel so enraged and powerless by it all. It’s so fucking ridiculous and bullshit and gaslighting ( today I listened to a interview on Kent radio with ‘ Dr Rachel’ and I felt so angry I just wanted to chuck my phone across the room. ) I’m 54 and I cannot believe it’s come to this. The good Dr is saying, with a straight face, that there are no biological advantages between men and women? Even a child knows there are massive differences, why are we even debating this shit???

So I feel v conflicted between wanting to just walk away from this bollocks as it’s constant, but also feeling like I HAVE to know what’s going on, as it’s such a massive fight which we CANNOT lose.

I don’t want to live in this state of constantly feeling enraged. And I know there’s been a few small wins, but why, in 2019 are we having to fight for the literal definition for what the word woman means...???

Yeah. Ur then I feel ok cos I know that all ordinary people don’t believe this shite

That keeps me going

I feel the same, it's so fucked up it's a waking nightmare and every day there's some new gaslighting to contend with. Take a few days out for yourself here and there though to focus on something else.

We just have to keep on going.

Think of what the suffragettes had to do

Yes the suffragettes went through absolutel hell, beatings, imprisonment, force feeding, I feel very humbled and grateful for their courage. But that also makes it worse, as we seem to be on the verge of losing all these hard won rights.

Yes! I sometimes wish I could go back to not knowing anything about it.
One of the things that helped me recently was going to a GC meeting. Listening and talking to people about it in real life was a relief. It felt less lonely than just reading here and twitter. Twitter makes everything seem worse. Such a toxic place.

Absolutely.

I have felt the rage since 2014 or there abouts and it's exhausting and it's tiresome and it's shocking that there seem to be no fucking adults in the room to say "Right, that's enough of this ridiculous nonsense!"

But we can't stop fighting, we have to keep going. There are more people speaking out and questioning, more press coverage etc.

I still think it'll get worse before it gets better but we have to keep on keeping on.

I find it completely overwhelming. I was subjected to gaslighting from an ex and the head fuck feels exactly the same. It seems so clear to me but I am being told that I am wrong - and offensive to boot. But this time it's not just one person fucking with my head, it's society. People are buying into this shit. I have to close down these threads, articles in the press and conversations with friends so often just to get my head straight but I will not walk away.

Destinysdaughter, take a few days (or even permanently) off Twitter and Facebook and any other social media that's giving you pain. Get your own priorities sorted in your own head again. Give yourself a rest, while you do so.

yup

Twitter was where I learned about all this but eventually I came to realise that spending so much time on there was having a really bad negative effect on my mh.

I drastically cut down the time I spend on there and feel so much better for it.

Engage with real life people instead. They are much less stupid than the Twitter TRAs. Go to Hull and ask random people if people can change sex. Your faith in humanity will be restored.

I loved McKinnon's Kent interview. Nobody listening will have decided to follow her ideology. Loads of people will have thought what the fuck was that? and will start asking questions in real life.

Post-Brexit when, dear god, when I expect this will be a hot political topic, it will get properly debated and no way that'll end with blokes magical thinking their way into places.

I think, being women together, gender-critical, is often described as a relay race. You are now knackered, there's nothing wrong with that.

Take a rest.

Because there are women around you who are taking up the baton, taking up women's rights and carry it on for you, for all of us, and try to ensure that you can rest until you you feel refreshed again. In my experience this is normal, when faced with such bullshit, fuckwittery and gaslighting, as you have identified.

There are other women here who stand with you and support you.

Please, from me!

Seriously, m'dear, step back and breathe, and refocus your energy in offline conversations and activism.

The only annoying sold out AWAs I know, I interact with mainly online. Everyone I speak to about it face to face, over a cup of tea or at the bus stop, don't buy the bullshit at all. They see very, very quickly that the many tentacled Genderist monster is nothing good at all - even if they do hold to innate girl things and boy things, they know there is no justification for drugging and sterilizing kids, or coercing and bullying lesbians, or removing funding from rape counselling.

There's a Christian phrase "By their fruits will you know them." If the fruit, or results of something are harmful, even while the promoters of them are insisting they are good, you don't have to be a PhD to know that you don't want any of it.

So, that's my advice. Keep touching base here - this place is good for connecting, consciousness raising, and a bit of solidarity. But let it be a springboard to reach others. You will feel so much better for it.

Twitter is a fucking hellhole, I am rather hoping someone is going to do something irreversibly damaging to the servers so it vanishes from the net entirely. What idiot didn't foresee that a site completely based on restrictive sound bites would demolish rational discourse for great swathes of the populace?

Absolutely agree with you, OP. Please practice self-care, take breaks when you need them, and try to do things that nourish your spirit offline.

I have mental health issues. Following this subject really doesn't help. I spent forever just wondering if I had finally gone off the deep end, because I could not get on board with what the transactivists were saying and doing. Not one part of me could be convinced that Alex Drummond is a woman the same as me. So I figured there was just something wrong with me, I was missing a crucial detail. Plus all these women I admired and agreed with were being horrifically slurred and targeted for abuse. I felt so alone, confused, and frightened. Every wonderful woman speaking out saves me a little from despair, and finding this forum on Mumsnet was a true joy.
Even so, just lurking is enough to make me quite upset sometimes. There's never a limit to the terrifying absurdity out there. They should rename it "this will happen," as everything that "never happens" has come to pass. It makes me sad to follow what's going on, but once your eyes are opened, you can't unsee it. Defending female rights and basic biological concepts against an authoritarian ideology is simply advocating for the truth. I find comfort in the knowledge that I've never been more sure of anything than the importance of this issue.

Try be kind to yourself, you've achieved something even if you only do just one tiny thing.

It's the times I realise the Woke see, and dismiss us (adult human females, GC) in the same way I see and dismiss anti-vaxxers or other extreme groups.
To the point I've had to carefully check that's I'm not being a conspiracy theorist with all this. (hint - I'm not).
I like the idea of face to face dialogue.
Would love a GC group in my city. But can't see any way to find/set one pup without strife. From TRAs/woke

But hey whatever/however much each of us can do, stand proud. Please don't beat up on yourself. It's a feckin huge fight, and its OK to pull back and have time out.

Yes, very much so.

Absofuckinglutely. I had the misfortune to marry a narcissist so I recognize gaslighting when I see it but even when I know I'm hearing bullshit I still end up questioning if I've missed something or I'm just not getting it.
I sometimes indulge a fantasy that one day the women of this country will bring a class action (American I know but it's my fantasy!) against the government for psychological abuse.
Most of the time I just remind myself this is a marathon not a sprint and everytime I manage to peak someone,by explaining what's going on, I've made a contribution to the fight.
I've also connected with some excellent women from MN and that support is crucial to keeping my sanity.
I also remind myself I survived divorcing a narc, I'm equipped to deal with this 😂

I feel the same OP. I take Twitter breaks now, when I just don’t engage with anything GC. My account is in my real name and sometimes I go back and remove old GC comments. Reading on here tends to be less personal and less enraging because the majority of the posters are sensible.

I keep going at the rate I can manage. Some women (and a few men) are doing so much I am in awe of them, but I do what I can. Concentrate on the things that will have impact-by-numbers. I filled in both the Scottish and U.K. government consultations and wrote to my MP. The signs that those things had an impact were muted, but they are there.

And there are signs now that we are getting there. Compared with even a year ago, there is much more evidence of change in the public consciousness. Look after yourself.

Yes, you're not the only one op.

I'm having to actively cut down / back on online time.

Last week I felt physically ill from all this.

Same here OP.
It’s a huge relief when someone with a platform speaks out (like Sharron Davies).

Yes OP - it's what happens when abusers are able to dominate the collective narrative and this lot have been able to infiltrate at the highest level.

We need to step away and protect ourselves from this toxic issue. I echo what everyone above has said - have the one to one discussions with friends and family - one to one and away from the bullies, most people get it. And attend a meeting - find the groups. There's a fantastic proliferation of women's groups meeting and organising at the moment and that's the life affirming support that we all need.

I assumed we all do. And without the support and camaraderie of MN it would be infinitely harder. But sometimes a brief break is beneficial while others carry the baton.

Yes! I’ve wanted to start a thread like this for ages. I’m in early perimenopause as well so that doesn’t help! But this issue, other issues affecting women and domestic violence in particular, it just enrages me and makes me feel tired. I feel like I’ve been fighting my whole life. I’m either angry or depressed most days. I can’t believe the shit that is happening!!!!!