It feels as though we're trapped in a cycle of unreasonableness. TSnTG came on this thread because OP was wondering where the 'quiet transexuals' are
That's not how I read the OP. andyoldlabour observed that there are some transsexual persons out there who publicly disagree with TRA extremists and who match the prevalent notion of the genuine trans person (always used to denote that these are generally harmless among the group of males who identify as trans). OP expressed pleasure and surprise at this. There was no question here where all the nice TS are or why they are quiet.
This subgroup is also often referred to by either side in the debate as having used women's spaces for decades and we all got on just fine. Now I for one know that while, yes, they have been quietly getting on with their lives, generally posing no more threat to women than other men, many if not all women have been noticing and felt uncomfortable or even scared in all of that time, too. Now some of these women are speaking out about their discomfort at seeing any male in what should be our places.
And I get it, it's bound to be heartbreaking if you've transitioned many years ago, you've certainly never caused any trouble and you've felt accepted "as a woman" by other women in women's spaces to hear or read that what you took for acceptance was experienced as coerced acquiescence to your presence by many of these women whose socialization prevented them from protesting your presence.
When I came into this debate, I honestly couldn't see what all the fuss was about toilets. I've learned a lot, not least about myself, especially how important our spaces are to me even though I never realised it.
But what I have learned most is just how badly the presence of males impacts on some women. Often women who daren't raise their voices, who are voiceless even.
And now I'm faced with a simple decision:
Who do I prioritise?
The men who cause no trouble and who just want to quietly get on with their lives but whose presence in women's spaces causes discomfort to many women and extreme distress in traumatised survivors of male violence? Or all of these women?
To me, that's a no brainer. An easy call.
Women-only spaces, services, sports, provisions and programs are for women.
Men, however they identify, have no right to displace women from these. And they do - either by causing vulnerable women to self-exclude or by taking up resources and places created and provided for women.