It’s very easy for men to men to moralise on abortion. To them it will only ever be something they need to think about in the abstract.
If you will never get pregnant or give birth, it’s not really something you’re ever going to be able to have a truly informed opinion on.
Before I had children I was staunchly pro-choice. Now I have experienced pregnancy and birth I’m still pro-choice, but for me the issue has many nuances that it didn’t have before.
Personally, I could never now have an abortion. Whereas before I had children, if I’d found myself in that situation, the decision would have been easier.
That said, I now have firsthand insight into the toll pregnancy, birth and child rearing takes on women physically and mentally. Carrying a child to term and birthing it is physically exhausting and emotionally profound. To suggest a woman can just ‘have a baby and then put it up for adoption if she doesn’t want it’ is offensively facile.
I had a miscarriage before my two children were born. I mourned the potential that that pregnancy had. I grieved for what might have been. But in no way did I consider that embryo a ‘soul’ or a living human. In fact to suggest that it was is offensive to parents who have actually lost children. A miscarriage or abortion is potential life never realised. It is no way even in the same universe as the loss of a life.
You say that it’s demonstrably untrue that western women still suffer under a patriarchy. If you read the threads on here and on the relationships boards you’ll see that women are certainly still very much subjugated by men. And child rearing is a significant tool in holding women back. It limits their career options, making them financially reliant on men who may be abusive. Or it makes them financially reliant on the state. The potential consequences of having children - even planned ones - are serious and far-reaching. Two years of maternity leaves definitely damaged my career. Before my first child was born my husband and I earned the same salary. Five years later mine has reduced by £10k (because i need to work part time because of childcare limitations) while his salary has now doubled. We both had two children together. But his career has flourished and mine has foundered. The reason for that? I was the one who was pregnant, who gave birth and who breastfed and reared our babies. No patriarchy? Ha!
Two women are murdered every week by their partners in the UK. 72% of those murders happen at the point of relationship separation, ie. when the woman tries to leave. Male violence against women is a very real and present threat. Many women who live with physically or mentally abusive partners know that staying with their abuser is the only thing keeping them alive.
You say you’re not ignorant or uneducated but I don’t see how you can be cognisant of these facts and still come to the conclusion that the patriarchy is a thing of the past.
I’m pleased you’re here Zuby, I’m pleased you’re engaging with this. Stick around and read a few more threads. I do hope that you’ll at least be open to looking through different lenses at these issues.