Help a brother out

[Glinner]

Hello, you coven of squints far right Nazi witches!

I'd like to collect some anecdotes about when and why you first became involved in the debate about gender ideology and activism. I've also asked on Twitter but thought this might be good for longer answers.

Please tell me your stories!

I fell down the rabbit hole in 2009, when I dated a guy with agp for just short of a year, starting when I was 16, and he was 18.

I didn't learn the term agp, until I read about it here much later, but he fit the description to a T. He'd spend the majority of his spare time gaming, was an IT buff, and wearing womens lingerie or clothes, would turn him on to the point he'd ejaculate, without even touching himself. I eventually discovered he had several fetishes, found humiliation a turn on (but only when dressed as a woman) etc.

At first he said he was a cross dresser (didn't bother me at all, I'd been a goth and my music idols were guys like David Bowie and Brian Molko). I was already highly gender critical.

When he wore womens lingerie or clothes, it brought out another side to his personality, called -female name-, and he asked could I call him by that name when we were in bed. We tried pegging (which I didn't mind either). But, the more I saw what his idea of female was, the more it turned me off. He was overly masculine and aggressive most of the time, then when he got the chance to dress up, (always in an overly glamourous, sexulused way), he'd act coy and simper, head to one side, baby voice, etc, but during the act could be very coercive and sometimes abusive. I never saw any actual feminine behaviour from him. When he declared he was a woman trapped in a mans body, I almost peaked, within a day or two, and tried to end the relationship. It took me a long time to get my feelings about it all straight, but the only sane conclussion l could come to, was that my ex had been a misogynistic, abusive, pervert, and that I couldn't let myself feel sorry for him, or guilty. He struggled to let go of the relationship, and eventually got nasty. I soon realised this was because his relationship with me, my support and the lies he'd hoped I'd tell for him, would make him seem more legit to everyone. He'd already admitted to lying to his Dr's about various things.

I found threads about similar men, and transwidows, and was shocked to see I hadn't been the only one to meet one of these guys, and felt so angry on behalf of the women these men had manipulated and lied to. Then the situation got more and more out of hand, the until I read about the new brownie policy and truly peaked. Anyone who claims there aren't men out there, who would do literally anything to get get themselves off, including impersonating a female, is naive or lying.

It was the thread on here about Tara Hudson. At first I was thinking, oh this poor transsexual, they will have a hard time in a men's prison ... I thought at that point they'd all had surgery or were waiting for it, and then I read about the 7 inch surprise and my mind went NOOOOOOOOOOO. Got a penis and enjoy using it? NOT a woman. Since then, I have learned a lot, read a lot, developed as a radical feminist and spent hundreds of hours thinking about what it means to be a woman. My family waited for this latest obsession to pass ... it never did. It is fascinating how many people have swallowed this crazy ideology without a single critical thought. It's like I'm living in a Dystopian novel.

It was a gradual dawning of awareness, driven by 3 things.

FWR threads popping up in Active on MN. My curiosity was piqued. Why were women so hostile to TW? I didn't understand why we didn't have common cause. So I clicked on some threads & began to get educated. The 'break it down for me' thread in particular.

Jenni Murray.

A family friend whose husband of over 30y decided he was a woman, and systematically planned to gaslight & abuse his wife for not being overjoyed about it.

If anyone here would like to add their name in support of Graham please tweet Jonny Best.

twitter.com/FeministCurrent/status/1101272296793108480?s=19

We are a group of women from all walks of life who are united in our concerns about the effects of gender ideology on the wellbeing and autonomy of women and girls. We wish to find a reasonable solution to the now acknowledged conflicts between the rights of women, both heterosexual and lesbian, and the rights of transgender people.

In recent times Graham Linehan (best known as co-writer of sitcoms likeFather Ted,Black Books,andThe I.T. Crowd) has been one of the few public figures to stand up for women. He has listened to us, spoken up in support, and used his platform to amplify women’s voices. He’s been an ally to lesbians who are usually marginalized within “LGBTQ” and who are experiencing particular types of sexism and homophobia as a result of gender ideology.

In return, Mr Linehan has been subjected to repeated smears and abuse, most recently by Paris LeesinBritish Vogue. Regrettably, Stonewall’s chair of trustees,Jan Gooding, has joined in with the smearing of Mr Linehan on Twitter, supported by Guardian commentatorOwen JonesandAnthony Watson, a trustee of Stonewall’s US equivalent, GLAAD and donor to Stonewall.

Women have been protesting, challenging, and writing about this issue for years, but until relatively recently have been largely ignored by mainstream media. Mr Linehan chose to offer his platform and his public profile to boost the concerns of women, despite the personal cost to him and his family. We welcome his involvement in this debate and thank him for listening and being steadfast in his support.

Signed. The way he has been treated is monstrous.
I have a little difficulty answering this question because it happened so gradually. I did a little google of my username and I'm there on one of the Spartacus threads, but I have been waking up for so long it's difficult to work out what exactly tipped me over the edge. I am now a pretty much full time txrf'.
I thank Mumsnetters for repeatedly bringing the insanity out for air.
If it was one thing I think it was the response I received from the Green Party when I asked them if I should have the right to be seen by a female doctor, as I had been abused by my male GP. It was this:

As stated in our initial response, the Green Party respects all our members, and works hard to ensure we promote equality and fairness.

Please address your legal or medical questions with the relevant authorities.

In about 1999, or 2000, just after the publication of her book, the Whole Woman, I went to see Germaine Greer speak in London. She'd touched on the subject in that book. During the talk, she was being heckled (I'm embarrassed I was so naive) by 'drag queens'.

I've since heard her say, that following the publication of the Whole Woman she received death threats IN THE POST! That's how long this has been going on. It's a particular kind of misogyny to write a letter, put it in an envelope, put a stamp on it, and walk to the post box.

After that, I can remember thinking, 'well they're not actually women, but where's the harm?'.

I should add that I was a really mixed up kid, desperately didn't want to be a girl, was completely battered by sexism all my life, and was incredibly angry, and my self esteem was all over the place. The Female Eunuch changed my life, I had WORDS for my rage and shame, I finally understood it wasn't ME, it was how the world was and other women thought like me too. Feminism honestly did save me. I'm not saying it fixed my life, but it was a framework for 'tunnelling out' iykwim.

Caitlin Jenner reignited my interest in this subject, I went googling, and to my relief found Miranda Yardley (here was a transsexual saying what I was thinking, it was this article mirandayardley.com/en/transgender-ideology-noes-not-support-women/ ). Permission to be critical (which, is why I don't agree that transsexuals should be excluded from this debate, I personally think we need them, they need us too). I chatted to Miranda on facebook and followed them, and that's how I found my way into this whole network of incredible women standing up to this nonsense.

I've been permanently banned on twitter twice for 'hate speech' - they've never told me what for, and was suspended on facebook for a week for saying 'men commit 98% of all physical and sexual violence and women are disproportionately the victims'.

It's still a matter of profound shock to me that people CANNOT SEE the utter male entitlement in all this, nor the profound envy men have of women's reproductive and sexual power, as I think that's really all this is, just another reincarnation of men's covetousness.

If you are interested in adding your name you can also email Stella O'Malley at [email protected]

So it started on Twitter last year when I was sent a link to gender theory paper by some so-called biologists in US explaining how sex is a spectrum. I was confused. It was a ludicrous desecration of biological fact which read like a fantasy tale presented in pseudo scientific nonsense language.

When I asked if it was a joke they instigated a pile on and I was called a TERF for the first time. So I looked it up and, as a life long lefty, it was a bit of a shock to discover I had just become a vile bigot.

I looked up my accusers, read some stuff, followed debates & soon came to suspect them to be not biologists but part of a group of Incels peddling a strange trans agenda attempting to erase sex categories by promoting gender theory. An underbelly of icky hyenas known as TRAs, we’re distracting the GCs & drumming up sympathy from the woke with their faux persecution claims whilst the more powerful in Stonewall etc. seek to use their influence to move into schools NHS, local councils etc. seek to remove sex categories from government literature, law, even the blinking Census!

Meanwhile children & teens have their heads turned by the same gender twaddle (cos you gotta start em young, right!?) from Mermaids telling them they’re being listened to but effectively, if not directly, encouraging them to cut their bodies and take drugs in order to conform.

And there’s the creation of a new oppressed category “Transgender” comprising people with the arrogance & sense of entitlement natural to those socialised within the most privileged category. Those whose very existence depends on the total adoption of gender and expulsion of sex markers. The encouragement of a wave of liberal feminism to take the poor loves under their wings brought women into conflict with women (that old patriarchal technique). Bring on arch enemies:

The Radical feminists (Yay) whose fundamental beliefs are in direct opposition to gender dogma and they will never be turned. So they must be othered as meanies I.e far right oppressors (refer back to TRAs)

And those are just the facts - I’ve no idea why but it sure ain’t for the rights of a few troubled twats “born in the wrong body”. More like a organised power grab: the sucking up of jobs, prizes, categories created to bring up women and minorities into more prominent positions that have effectively sidelined mediocre men that are used to having everything handed to them.

Whilst mildly encouraged by those GCs and badass feminists that see it, I’m wildly discouraged by the those in power that suck it up, ignore it or look away.

I can only sit and hope that I am overestimating the organisational and persuasive skills of mediocre men

Cheers x

Does anyone else feel like their head is going to explode when they read these posts?

I hadn't heard of cognitive dissonance until a few years ago on MN and it explained so much about what had happened within my marriage. That was nothing compared to this.

It's the way we are told to think, that we are wrong to think in a certain way, even though science and fucking EVERYTHING tells us we're right.

There have been a few things - firstly I think it was the women in Bristol (Julie Bindel?) not being allowed to enter the We Need to Talk event. Then it was hearing that a man was voted Woman of the Year. Then hearing it again - another man. Then hearing the Labour Party say that you could have an all-women panel which was all men. Then the sport.

I am raging.

Oh and Posie's videos. They are fantastic.

biological sex is the issue.
Biological sex is NOT a spectrum - there is MALE & FEMALE.
intersex is NOT a 3rd biological sex.
Biological sex is impossible.
The delusion that trans lobby is trying to push is that "gender" is a spectrum. Utter nonsense.
A biological female is a biological female. She can dress as she desires. Does not change her biological sex in ANYWAY.

A biological male is a biological male, he can dress as he desires. Does not change his biological sex in ANYWAY.

Society has to set rules that mirror our culture, a culture that respects the difference between MALE AND FEMALE.

Common sense must prevail, women have a basic right to privacy from men. We all agree. Men do not have a right to undermine that right.

Society must stand up against the cult that suggests the ANY human can be in wrong body. We need to educate our youngsters with facts..

we all learn our limits... we accept gravity, we accept we can get burnt .... we do not deny those - we learn and adapt. Same with biology, WE must all learn and adapt.

Women only sports is for WOMEN
Women only group are for WOMEN
Women only changing room is for WOMEN
NHS women only wards are for WOMEN.

In my day men who dressed as women where called out as sissies .. drag queens were a comedy show.. impersonating the traits of women.

I had to live as a female from age 9 - 19, and i learned the way. Society has broken, we must heal and use common sense. Protect our vulnerable youngsters from more harm , and protect women from males -

This is my very first time making any comment. I’m in Ireland and at a glance the trans movement appears to be going along nicely... the support is through the roof but I wonder, how many of these “liberals” actually know someone who is trans or what the actual ideology is behind it. I have scourced what information available to me and have come to the conclusion that Irish trans people are subscribing to same crazy ideology that erodes hard fought for woman’s rights. I also found material that the Department of Education are supply to teachers to help them deal with young trans people- it’s very worrying.

www.education.ie/en/Publications/Education-Reports/Being-LGBT-in-School

Section 4.4.6 deals with toilets and changing rooms- I wonder how many parents are really comfortable to expose their female bodied child to male bodied children?

Ireland as a nation like so many countries is recovering from the systematic abuses that were perpetrated by the Catholic Church- surely we as a nation should be way more critical of any proposed changes in law that affect women and children. If woman want their rights and the rights of their children protected, they must stand up n be counted because our male government can’t even see what’s happening.

Sisterhood is more important now than ever.

Please Irish sisters- open your eyes!!

Something I forgot to mention was an article/blog I read years ago.

As a feminist at the time I was really processing what misogyny really means and how it relates to our reproductive role and organs. I saw a blog post called something like "What Is Transmisogyny?" and immediately baulked.

I thought what cheeky fucker could mangle language and meaning like that? First of all 'trans' is Latin and 'gyny' is Greek. Secondly, miso (hatred of) gyny (women) is hating women for being women. You go to a gynaecologist because you have female bits. Sadly you are also hated for having female bits by misogynists.

How can misogyny be 'trans'? How can a male be hated for being female? It is obvious bullshit appropriation by males who fetishise the idea of being a woman hated for being female. What a fucking insult.

Anyway. I then clicked on the trolly title and it was a set of bullshit bullet points where perfectly reasonable assertions were followed by the refrain "that's transmisogyny", so anyone reading would be firmly be told that any rational, logical or reasonable question or assertion is 'transmisogyny'. It was so blatant and brainwashing.

I can't remember what was said but it was along the lines of:

^'Transwomen are not the same as women'
That's transmisogyny^

^'I don't believe people can change sex'
That's transmisogyny^

And so on.

It made me realise that there are some disordered, controlling and unscrupulous people pushing this agenda. It made me feel sick.

Many mini peaks but the icing on the cake was learning that the Masons now accept men, transwomen, and transmen. Only women left out. New policy written by a transwoman mason. Can't see that there'll be much take up for Masonic membership from the transmen demographic! So that'll be just men and transwomen then. Funny that. But our cis-female privilege sure is weighing on my conscience.

Crikey, WeRiseUp, I've realised that I was reading 'transmisogyny' as bias against women by trans people.

Oops.

I peaked again today reading about Mermaids’ marketing officer trying and failing to sue an actual transsexual woman for transphobia.

The IoC
Woman if the Year
Lily Madigan
The Daniel Muscato
The chap who won businesswoman of the year when he cross dresses a day a week.

Now my mind is so blown every day that I struggle to format my WTAF thoughts into anything past a goldfish expression now. I just can't.

And also, I grew up in the atmosphere that gender was supposed to be irrelevant. We were meant to be fighting to break down stereotypes...men or women could be, wear, act, whatever, however they liked unconstrained by societal ideas of what they should be doing.

But now, it you are a man who likes to wear a dress you must be a woman ? If you are a girl who has short hair and wears trousers you may be a man?

Masons now accept men, transwomen, and transmen. Only women left out.
Really? I didn't know that.
Are transmen still prohibited from inheriting male peerage titles? Funny how biological reality and the risk of loopholes are recognised when there's money or status at stake.
Women's rights and dignity? Who gives a fuck.

I've realised that I was reading 'transmisogyny' as bias against women by trans people.

Well that would make a lot more sense - and making sense is transmisogyny, therefore you are a transmisogynist! HTH

There's a lot of sexualisation being pushed by the transideology that TWAW.

Obviously AGP & fetish stuff but also the sexualised representation of women in the way many of them womanface.

Early sexualisation of children as in the young drag act and also MAPS trying to get under the trans umbrella.

Self ID puts male bodies at the very centre of women & children's sex segregated spaces which is exactly where they want to be.

It's driven alright. No doubt about that.

yes an ideology pushed to corrupt western culture - funded by leftie liberals like George Soros.
to see youngsters dressed as drag acts and taking cash from excited men, clearly pedos - BUT cheered on my main stream TV in USA...

it is sick and undermines female biology.
Human biology is amazing, female reproductive system is a miracle of nature.
Human sex can be wonderful, yet we see it being abused by trans agenda , youngsters being brainwashed to think what a woman is, or what a male is ..

Oh I dunno, mate. Encouraging kids to sign up to lifelong hormone & surgery prescriptions so they can fix themselves rather than change how society views men & women seems pretty capitalism/individualism-friendly, if we’re talking about where this all fits on the political compass.

I had quietly allowed my trans spouse to bully me into accepting all aspects of trans ideology for years. I had a feminist blog thought and made one cautious post, ten years ago, about maybe asking people on each side (radfems and trans activists) to get along and bend a little in their ideas. I got a lukewarm and sympathetic response from radfems, and a violent, trolling, over the top response from transactivists, who featured me on a popular trans blog I had never heard of or followed, who then sent hundreds more transactivists over to tell me what a horrible person I was. I followed the ping backs, they accused me of abusing my spouse, said they hoped my poor spouse got the "courage" to leave my "abusive ass", raked every line of my post over the coals while over analyzing every single sentence and every phrase of every sentence for "transphobia". My spouse gave me some extremely tepid emotional support. I ended up deleting my blog after the hate drivebys became too much.

Strangely, this did not lead me to some realization that I had been a horrible transphobe. It made me realize these people were completely insane. #peaktrans