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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

******TRIGGER WARNING Powerful message from a midwife (re. the murder of Natalie Connolly) TRIGGER WARNING ******

231 replies

WTFIsAGleepglorp · 20/12/2018 20:34

Relax, it's not a trans thread.

It's about the horrific murder of Natalie Connolly.

twitter.com/ThatMidwife/status/1075808892477693952?s=19

Who's writing to the Attorney General?

OP posts:
smilethoyourheartisbreaking · 22/12/2018 16:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShesABelter · 22/12/2018 16:56

I have written to the AG. This is just horrific. Over 40 injuries, hameorraging from her vagina, smashed eye socket and bleach sprayed on her and he believes this was BDSM. People in BDSM Relationships still care for each other's well being. They have safe words and the sub is in control because if they use it the dom stops. How could Natalie do that in the intoxicated state she was in. She didnt. She was raped, beaten and murdered. If this had been BDSM it would never of gone so far and he'd of sought medical help for her. Not stepped over her numerous times and reported her as dead as a doughnut. Nasty, murdering bastard.

arranbubonicplague · 22/12/2018 17:14

Natalie Connolly had her life and reputation taken from her.

She's had her life and reputation re-scripted by the survivor.

The study of suicide was revolutionised by the introduction of what was then (possibly still now) known as a psychological autopsy .

When I read the judge's sentencing remarks and what he was effectively taking on trust from Broadhurst's account I felt that Natalie Connolly was having a psychosexual autopsy conducted in public by some very skilled manipulators (the defence team, doing what they're paid for) and interpreted by an unskilled arbiter (my, perhaps unjustifiable and unfair, impression of the judge).

Beyond the tragedy of Natalie Connolly and the other women who have died as a result of violence and sexual assault (it is not "rough sex") I wonder how we're ever supposed to learn anything about these crimes and how to prevent them when the "evidence" out there is either skilfully manipulated or distorted beyond recognition.

Iused2BanOptimist · 22/12/2018 20:05

Have just listened to Harriet Hartman on woman's hour regarding this. Interesting that she said this is the first time she has heard of this defence.
I must say I had been thinking why aren't we hearing from people like her regarding these cases.
If only she was on Mumsnet...
Anyway she's fired about it now. Let's keep the pressure up to get rid of this "she liked rough sex" "fifty shades of grey" defence which, as Harriet says, has taken over from the previous "nagging and shagging" defence.
Thank you Harriet.

twitter.com/harrietharman/status/1075353996544626688?s=21

R0wantrees · 22/12/2018 20:21

article by Julian Norman (Barrister)
FiLiA
concludes:
"There has been much said about the judge's sentencing remarks, which can be found here [LINK]. However, in the context of the sentencing guidelines [LINK], little argument can be made. The judge's job is to sentence "without fear or favour, affection or ill will" and however much ill will we as a society may bear Broadhurst for the entirely avoidable death of a woman, the judge cannot depart from the guidelines unless there are truly exceptional circumstances - and even then, would likely be appealed. The only part at which a lawyer might raise an eyebrow is the full one third discount for a guilty plea when that plea came so late.

And yet there is no way that this sentence appears fair, just or proportionate. A woman was brutally assaulted and died, due to a man's inactions in calling emergency services which could have saved her, and his actions which included not just beating her, but also inserting a bottle of carpet cleaner into her vagina, causing the ruptured artery when he broke it to get it out. The judge noted that she was so drunk as to be staggering and talking 'gobbledygook' before passing out: the decision by the CPS to offer no evidence on the assault by penetration sits very uneasily with the comments on her state of intoxication. The sentencing remarks appear to take Broadhurst's evidence of her desire for these activities at face value - her evidence, as always where a woman dies, is not available. Would it be too much to assume that women never consent to death?

Perhaps it is time for a separate sentencing guideline on male violence to women. This could cover sexual violence and domestic abuse, from common assault to murder. While women die at the hands of men at the rate of two a week, we cannot ignore this any longer, and we cannot pretend that just because an apparently lenient sentence is lawful, or even textbook in its application of the guidelines, that it is acceptable. Women deserve more. Natalie Connolly deserved more.

If you believe the brutal murder of a woman deserves more than 3 years, 8 months in prison, write to the Attorney General to demand an appeal. You have only 28 days to register this complaint. You can send a letter by post to:

Attorney General
Geoffrey Cox QC
5-8 The Sanctuary
london
SW1P 3JS

or via e mail to:
[email protected]

If you need any help with wording, please cut, paste, amend and make the following your own and please share:

FAO Geoffrey Cox

I am writing to you to review the sentence of just 40 months of John Broadhurst at Birmingham Crown Court, following the brutal death of Natalie Connolly. Not only did she receive over 40 injuries, but she was callously left to die when medical intervention could have saved her life.

The so called mitigation of ‘rough sex gone wrong’ sets a dangerous precedent to excuse extreme violence against women. I therefore believe that this sentence is unduly lenient. I ask that this case is referred to the Court of Appeal."

filia.org.uk/news/2018/12/21/john-broadhurst

gluteustothemaximus · 23/12/2018 13:02

Good article here.

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/dec/23/prosecutors-thought-no-jury-would-accept-natalie-connoolly-was-murdered

Petition on change.org has only got 275 signatures Sad

arranbubonicplague · 23/12/2018 13:12

From Guardian item:

In Connolly’s case, much has been made of her sexual predilections, but, really, so what? It doesn’t mean that she fantasised about being beaten, killed or leaving her young daughter motherless. Besides, rough sex means different things to different people, and even very serious BDSM practitioners would have a safe-word to stop things going too far. This overplayed rough sex angle comes across as cynical victim-blaming – it fails to explain 40 injuries and bleach sprayed on her face.

Then another disturbing thought – that the CPS might have a point. That extreme violence against women by their partners, even when it results in death, remains so systemically downgraded in this country that trying for a guilty murder verdict could result in men such as Broadhurst walking free.

We need a statement from the CPS so that we know why they decided to accept the plea to manslaughter and drop both the charges of murder and GBH along with assault by penetration.

And, despite the sentencing remarks, I'm nowhere near understanding why the judge opted for Category C rather than B.

Italiangreyhound · 23/12/2018 14:02

Her Name was Natalie Connolly

www.change.org/p/attorney-general-her-name-was-natalie-connolly

Bienchen · 23/12/2018 14:06

Signed!

Italiangreyhound · 23/12/2018 14:13

It looks like there are two separate petitions on Change. Neither has many signatures. Please do take time to sign both.

Her Name was Natalie Connolly

www.change.org/p/attorney-general-her-name-was-natalie-connolly

Criminal punishment to fit the crime in domestic violence cases.

www.change.org/p/correspondence-attorneygeneral-gsi-gov-uk-criminal-punishment-to-fit-the-crime-in-domestic-violence-cases

I cannot see the thread on AIBU where this is discussed but if anyone else is willing to post both petitions into that thread it would be excellent, please.

Many thanks Thanks

Italiangreyhound · 23/12/2018 14:26

Is it worth starting a new thread in AIBU? I'd love to see both those petitions grow!

DoinItForTheKids · 23/12/2018 14:38

Sorry if this has already been answered, what is a trigger bottle??

Iused2BanOptimist · 23/12/2018 14:53

Doinit I assume they mean one of those standard spray bottles with a lever to use to generate spray. Having inserted it, the trigger presumably became stuck as it is not exactly anatomically shaped.
Like anything else with a barb - only goes one way.

PyeWackets · 23/12/2018 15:17

Frightening how little women's lives are regarded.

WTFIsAGleepglorp · 23/12/2018 15:24

A standard 'squirty' spray bottle

OP posts:
Charley50 · 23/12/2018 15:47

As if any woman ever, would want one of those squirty bottles inside her.

gluteustothemaximus · 23/12/2018 16:02

I wish this was front page news.

DoinItForTheKids · 23/12/2018 17:56

FFS Iused, for real? That is absolutely horrific.

WTFIsAGleepglorp · 23/12/2018 18:02

I wish this was front page news.

So do I gluteustothemaximus

If the AG doesn't even review this sentence, there is no justice in this world.

OP posts:
feministfairy · 23/12/2018 18:41

Excellent from Laura Richards:

www.laurarichards.co.uk/featured/misogyny-at-its-worst-hernamewasnatalieconnolly/

womanformallyknownaswoman · 23/12/2018 21:50

Great submission by Laura Richards (thx feministfairy) that summarises the sexual violence and victimisation at play and how Natalie was more than likely murdered in a vindictive act of revenge, as her perpetrator took control. She also emphasises how remorseless he was - dead as a doughnut is the phrase he used to report her deathAngry - and how his lack of remorse was witnessed by paramedics. Certainly presents what sounds like a much more plausible scenario for her life being taken at his whim and further questions why the murder charge was reduced to manslaughter.

This is a shocking denial of justice to Natalie and her family as well as a stark warning for all women. It is also a perfect illustration of a justice system unfit for purpose for the majority of its population- women.

gluteustothemaximus · 23/12/2018 22:23

Great article here.

www.scotsman.com/news/opinion/dani-garavelli-disgusted-by-confederacy-of-lip-readers-and-hand-wringers-1-4848062

Still wondering how we can get more coverage of this, and more people to write to the AG.

gluteustothemaximus · 23/12/2018 22:52

I also accept that some of the injuries Natalie suffered, including the bruising to her head and the blow out fracture to her left orbit – which were probably her most serious injuries - may have been caused accidentally as she stumbled around in a heavily intoxicated state and collided with objects or caught herself in the face with her watch. I do not hold you responsible for those.

If she was so intoxicated, then how the fuck did she consent!!!!!!!! Angry

WomanWithAltitude · 24/12/2018 08:24

Would it be worth posting links to the petitions in AIBU? For the traffic?

This is a really important issue.

WomanWithAltitude · 24/12/2018 08:30

And yy. Either she was so drunk she could have believably seriously injured herself, and therefore could not possibly consent to what he did. Or she wasn't that drunk, therefore the injuries were inflicted by him. He can't have it both ways!

I believe she was too drunk to consent, and he beat and tortured her.