Nice thread with lovely wishes for transpeople

[interestingdebatetoday]

Can we have a thread where we just say nice things we wish for transpeople by gender critical feminists? We are always framed as horrible bigots when actually a lot of concerns stem from a place of being caring maternal women.

So actually what do we think? Rather than what they (TRA's I mean, I know there are a few GC TW who understand our motives are not transphobia or bigotry) say we think because we are trying to keep our own rights

I'll start with a few of my own thoughts:

• I wish for transpeople to be comfortable in their bodies, I feel gender dysphoria must be incredibly difficult to live with and I hope that they find support available to help them and aren't stuck with waiting lists that last years or fobbed off with ten mins when they do want support

• I wish for transpeople to have safe access to drugs they may need that have a decent safety rate and have been tested for long enough that they aren't being human ginea pigs or suffering horrific side effects

• I wish for transpeople to have safe spaces for transpeople in prisons, shelters etc

• I wish for transpeople not to be unable to enjoy sex as a side effect of drugs or surgery

... I'm hoping that this will continue in a nice way... and perhaps the debates can stay on other threads so it is absolutely clear that we don't hate transpeople, we would just like to keep our own rights but we are actually pretty thoughtful and concerned in some of our arguments for fellow human beings

Then can't the principle of charity be applied?
E.g. If there's a thread on about 1 thing and there's nothing constructive to add / the only thing wanted to add is to tell the OP their thread is stupid, don't post.

Otherwise some of the replies on here are no different to people turning up on a thread about the royals to say 'but how about nobody cares OP. They're just some rich people being proper up by taxpayers. Nobody cares'.

I never get it on MN when people turn up on threads largely to tell the OP their thread is stupid.

I'll just nod along politely then next time shall I?

I'm not saying be some nodding fog. I'm just questioning why some on MN go on threads specifically to point out to an OP why their thread is pointless.
I also don't get when someone says 'hi I'm after holiday suggestions. We are doing America but we really don't want to do Florida or California. Does anyone have suggestions?' And people reply with 'but why not Florida? But California is awesome... why aren't you even considering Florida? What makes you so closed off to those states? You know you should really look into California'

I feel some replies on here are the feminist version of those types of replies.

I feel pointing out not to holiday in a danger zone would actually be beneficial to an OP.

Seriously all those who believe I am some form of TRA or MRA troll

Please reassure yourselves by checking with MN if my posting history under all my namechanges I've ever had of which there are many suggests anything other than a MNer who's been around bloody years

I NC often to keep myself fairly anonymous. Many women do after leaving abusive relationships so there's not a big long history to ever be found.

I'm not following.

The example is looking at anywhere in America except 2 areas and then posters weigh in outlining why they are wrong to not be considering those 2 areas.

It's a bit different to I'm thinking of holidaying in Yemen what do you think? In which case it would absolutely make sense to raise issues.
Or, I'm after general holiday advice and have a thread on holidays in general - in which case 'be warned... is dangerous' would make sense.

To me anyway the OP has said I'm trying a thread to do X and am not interested in Y, so poster chiming in with but Y but Y but Y is just like people who are other threads where OPs ask about A, rule out B and the posters continue to go on about B.

I don't think OP is a troll. I think OP is a person who posted a thread that got right up my nose - because, as anybody who knows me on here will realise, appeals to female socialisation are my absolute bugbear. So I said the thread got up my nose.

Simple as that. If it's not nice enough for some. Well. QED.

I won't lie, I haven't properly read every post on this thread. Sorry!
In some ways, I do understand where you are coming from, OP. I do see the value of this for marketing purposes, to some extent, but feminism to me seems to be about speaking the truth.
This quote is correct:
When women and girls are told to be 'nice' it's a sure sign they're being fucked over.
My own understanding of this "debate" is incredibly personal. I haven't quite gotten to the point where I can break "Mumsnet Rules," FWIW, OP, I agree with your original statements. Of course no trans person should be hurt in any way just for being trans or otherwise. This doesn't mean any person is not their actual sex, though. After years of thinking about these questions, I've my own point of view. I do understand the desire to get lots of gender-critical women to post politically correct stuff, but anything to essentially solicit those will be counter productive.
My eyes are getting more open every day. While we have a lot of very classy feminists who are super forgiving and diplomatic, I really resent the idea that women keep having to bend over backwards to justify their very existence as the female of the human race. I cannot abide with the idea that women need to be extra compliant just to talk about their own real needs as biological females. I understand the political utility to do so in our male-dominated, queer-theory addled world, but I find it somewhat objectionable to ask this of other feminists. Many of these women have been in the "fight" for a very long time and really developed their thinking.
Please, can we not? I need that impetus even to get over my own impulses.

Evening, all. We just wanted to remind folk that we don't allow troll-hunting on the boards. As it goes, we've no reason to suspect the OP isn't genuine, but if you have any concerns please report them to us rather than air them on the boards. Thank you.