Feeling like I don’t want to use our local swimming pool

[Sunisshining3228]

Hello
I’m a lurker here. Just wanted to share something here.
I went swimming this morning at the pool in the area that we moved to not long ago. Haven’t swum for exercise for a while but used to love it when I was growing up and used to compete etc.
It was a unisex changing rooms. There were cubicles and lockers which meant a bit of privacy but the showers were two rows facing each other. Men were making good use of the showers, one older guy was giving himself a thorough soaping down but I didn’t notice any women lingering to use it. I felt pretty uncomfortable even pausing to rinse the chlorine off because it was not private. Not saying the men were out of order or anything but they were looking and I don’t want to feel looked at by a man when using a shower.
I had to go to work afterwards so needed to use the shower and wash my hair. I felt bad but told myself it was v early In the morning and I asked if I could use the disabled cubicle which has a shower. The pool attendant agreed but I felt bad for using it, I don’t have a disability.
I can kind of see why they designed the changing room this way as it would help mixed sex families and transgender people I guess, but it’s not great for women and adolescent girls. I used to train at a swimming club into my teens and was self conscious, I would have been really put off if our shower area was unisex. It has made me quite reluctant for my daughter to go in for swimming classes/clubs with a changing room like that as well to be honest.
Even drying my hair afterwards and putting on make up, opposite there was a guy drying his hair, probably innocuously looking around at the same time but it just made me want to hurry and get out of there.
I don’t know if I’ll complain cos we just moved here and this seems to be how it is here but I’ll probably re-think swimming again.
It feels like changing rooms have not been designed with women in mind unless we used the disabled cubicle.
Does that mean that being a woman who is uncomfortable about being looked at by men is a disability now?

Surely we can have facilities for people with disabilities and facilities in which women feel safe? (Ie no penis allowed).

And many places do don't they?

If the OP feels so strongly then why not ask the pool to provide women only changing rooms or sessions?

Still isn't right to use accessible changing room in the mean time.

So to prevent that let's make it so that all people with a disability stay at home instead?

No, I didn't actually say that I thought it was fine to use the disabled facilities. I was responding to the poster who said that since she had been to that swimming pool before, she should have known what the facilities were like and therefore should have avoided it.

There's statistically waaaay far more chance of the hypothetical disabled person needing the shower being real, then the hypothetical sexual assault. And you really have no idea whether the facilities were needed or not. In fact the OP probably wouldn't either as I'm guessing there was s door on them.

I find casual disregard for disabilities pathetic. But sadly not at all unusual either.

I just worry that we could get into the territory of 'women, stay at home if you don't like it'.
Disabled people have been in that position for years, and nothing to do with whether they like the facilities provided or not

Why is it ok to trample over the rights of an even more disadvantaged group of people because you think that your rights aren't being met?

Why is it not ok for a person who feels clear distress at male bodied people parading around their penis in a changing room to use an obviously empty safe space, particularly if determined to leave said save space as soon as the need arises?

Is an empty room a value in itself and is it more valuable than the mental wellbeing of a woman?

I just worry that we could get into the territory of 'women, stay at home if you don't like it'. Disabled people have been in that position for years, and nothing to do with whether they like the facilities provided or not.

Callous.

Nobody is going to stay at home because they have to wait 2 minutes for the shower

You dont know how long the OP was in there plus it appears from the attitude on here that a good number of people.think that it's ok so you can easily see how the disabled changing room quickly becomes the go to for anyone that wants privacy can't you? That will mean that people with disabilities get shunted out of public spaces.

OP can I ask why you went to this pool knowing how the changing rooms were set out?

I felt bad but told myself it was v early In the morning and I asked if I could use the disabled cubicle which has a shower. The pool attendant agreed...

Surely, the pool attendant could have knocked, if a disabled person had been in need of a shower.

so you can easily see how the disabled changing room quickly becomes the go to for anyone that wants privacy can't you?

Not when you ask the pool attendant for permission every time.

I did not enjoy using a shower area with hoist, shower chair etc so I could just have some privacy, I felt wrong about that.

FFS it actually was a decent fully equipped facility too. Do you know how far apart those are. Good chance you have to travel further to find one on those than you ever would a unisex facility?!?!

I hear stuff like that an my heart absolutely aches. So have so far to go

Respectfully it sounds like you don’t have personal experience of male violence or harassment. Please don't make assumptions You know nothing about.

Why is it not ok for a person who feels clear distress at male bodied people parading around their penis in a changing room to use an obviously empty safe space, particularly if determined to leave said save space as soon as the need arises?

Where does the OP say that anyone was parading their penis around?

And if you need a sex segregated space then why go somewhere that you already know doesn't have a sex segregated space?

We have so far to go

OP - is it worth seeing if there's a need for a women's session, particularly given that there's a large Asian population locally? If you can prove there's a need then that might force them to at least do that.

OP can I ask why you went to this pool knowing how the changing rooms were set out?

If you don't like the set up then you need to campaign to change it don't you? Disabled facilities were fought for by people with disabilities for the use of people with disabilities.

God I could laugh if that comment wasn’t so stupid.
Women have had single sex facilities for decades. We’re now being told we can’t have them, and are having to campaign to get them reinstated.

But you know what, we shouldnt be arguing about this. Its what the TRAs want. Women fighting women.

Surely, the pool attendant could have knocked, if a disabled person had been in need of a shower.

And had tthe OP been mid shower, shampoo in hair, she would have dashed out to let a disabled person in?

Of course the person with a disability would also have kniwn that an able bodied person was using their changing room and would have been able to go and fetch an attendant to remove the person?

Don't try and defend this. It is wrong.

The OP not wanting to use the changing rooms doesn't make it right to use the accessible changing room.

Pool attendant are usually on minimum wage and may have no idea if you have a real need for the facilities or not just from looking at you

OP - is it worth seeing if there's a need for a women's session, particularly given that there's a large Asian population locally? If you can prove there's a need then that might force them to at least do that

Why the heck should we have to ask for women only sessions? The OP doesn’t mind swimming with men, she just doesn’t want to shower with them.

There's statistically waaaay far more chance of the hypothetical disabled person needing the shower being real, then the hypothetical sexual assault.

No one is saying that the OP thought she was going to get assaulted. She’s saying she didn’t want to shower with men watching her.

I find casual disregard for disabilities pathetic. But sadly not at all unusual either.

And I find your casual regard for women feeling safe, pathetic.

Oh the men going full naked was xia.

Anyway in is heartening to see that a woman, who does apparently have personal experience of male violence or harassment is ostracized for her 'insecurity' regarding showering with male bodies people and shamed for once asking the pool attendend, whether she could use the disability facilities. And on the feminist board, no less. Keep up the good work.

Weetabix, I’m not going to engage with you anymore. You’re way out of order.

Why can none of you see what you are saying?

Disabled people, budge over we want in to your space?

Sound familiar anyone?

Complain about the removal of womens rights and then go about removing the rights of people even more disadvantaged?

Weetabix, I’m not going to engage with you anymore. You’re way out of order.

No more out of order than people think that it's ok for an able bodied person to use accessible facilities.

Disabled people, budge over we want in to your space

Said no one ever. But that is not the point, is it. Pillorying women for not just getting over it is fun, riight?

@Weetabixandshreddies

I totally get what you mean.