For some background: I'm in STEM, so we're looking at a very low percentage of female employees in comparison to other industries. We've also just had another promotions round. Brilliant outcome for women: despite there being significantly fewer of us, we're actually more than half of all promotees. And, speaking as one of the managers involved in the decision process, I'm proud to say that it's all on merit and no affirmative action was involved on the grounds that it simply wasn't needed. We just really focussed on hiring and retaining really good women, and the results speak for themselves.
Anyway, on to what actually happened: male colleague, supervisory level, was passed over for a promotion he applied for in favour of a woman with more experience and, frankly, a much stronger track record. Cue divisional meeting today. All promotion decisions are officially announced to everyone present, including male colleague (who, of course, already knew about himself but not all the other positions).
Colleague utterly loses it, stands up in the middle of the meeting and yells at his manager (male), me (female and his direct boss' line manager) as well as my own line manager (male, very proper and very senior) that we're discriminating against him and that we're utter hypocrites and a bunch of other utterly insane stuff. Then goes on to yell at his female colleagues whose promotions have just been announced that they know they're not better than him and they know they're token women and so on.
We're all speechless but, at this point, I somehow find my voice and order him to sit down, STFU and apologise to his colleagues. He refuses and accuses me of owing my position to having slept with my (also present) boss.
At this point, I literally tell him "sit down and behave like an adult or I'll suspend you with immediate effect on the grounds of gross misconduct". Colleague gets up and storms out of the room.
30 minutes later, his boss, myself and my boss all get an email from HR: colleague has filed a formal grievance claiming sex discrimination.
Anyway, I'm not worried about the outcome. We've got ample evidence for why we picked the candidates we did and it's all well above board. And naturally, colleague's outburst doesn't exactly speak for his leadership qualities and underlines why we were concerned about his emotional maturity. In fact, we've pretty much decided that we're going to have to let him go after this.
I am utterly shaken by his outburst, though. I know about male rage in theory and I have experienced it in a personal capacity, albeit never in a professional situation. The level of rage and entitlement, though. It was utterly terrifying. There was something almost primal about the way he went for his female colleagues (and myself, his boss' boss). I'm obviously an adult and I'm an experienced manager, so it's not something professional me can't handle. But personal me, just a woman who's made it in a male dominated field, is petrified. He hates me so much. He hates my female employees, his colleagues and - in some cases - his direct reports, so much. And he feels so entitled to be the boss of us and to be given preferential treatment over us because he's a man. And he speaks to us with such utter contempt and superiority.
I don't really know what I'm asking. I guess I just needed to share with people I know at least won't reply with "but what about the poor men". Anyway, it's been a horrible day. It'll turn out alright situation-wise, but I can't help being in tears at the ugliness of it all.
