When I think it through, I also can’t imagine a man deliberately going through the self id stuff they are proposing, to deliberately go into a toilet etc with the sole intention of attacking someone. It seems crazy. Men who attack women do it regardless.
The “self ID stuff” proposed is basically signing a form and wandering off, officially a woman, with no legal, medical or ethical gate-keeping.
Unlike you, I am absolutely sure that predatory men will take advantage.
The crime which convinced me of this involved an Australian man who preyed in young women. Listening to an account of the case, I was gibsmacked at how much work this evil man put into his pursuit of rape victims.
He created multiple personalities. He kept lengthy, meticulous records of those personalities, his conversations, information about the girls he was grooming. He travelled and met people with false personas. He spent thousands and thousands of dollars and hundreds and hundreds of hours hunting for victims. You can look up the murder of Carly Ryan.
That meticulous and obsessive behaviour is not unusual for many sexual predators. No-one is suggesting that transwomen are automatically sexual predators, because of course they’re not.
But if predatory men are legally allowed access to women’s and girl’s spaces with nothing more time-consuming than filling out a form, of course they will do it. I’m quite sure that after the Girl Guides debacle, there are paedophiles already trying on dresses in anticipation of the chance to be guide leaders.
And with all due respect to your relative, who is certainly a lovely person, I still have no wish to share a private, female space with her. I have a young relative who identifies as trans and I have no wish to share a female only space with her either.
Why does their sense of identity count more than my material reality?