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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Butterfly - Feedback from ITV to email complaint

360 replies

ShineyNewName5032 · 24/10/2018 13:21

As many on here have noted Butterfly is possibly one of the most controversial topics covered on ITV. I wrote to express my concerns this is the response:

Dear Sir/Madam,

Thank you for your email concerning ITV’s new drama series Butterfly.

The producers consulted with senior clinical psychologists as well as the charity Mermaids. Most importantly, they spoke to families and children about their own lived experiences. The programme does not “promote” Mermaids, although the charity is depicted in a handful of scenes across three episodes. It depicts the family being advised by a range of different professionals, and indeed being offered a range of different advice, both in this country and the United States.

We do not consider that the drama is irresponsible or could “lead to more suicides”. The drama depicts a nuanced and complex story of an unhappy child, whose feelings are increasingly distressing, and which are leading to self-harming. This reflects the lived experience of some young people who are not comfortable in their assigned gender, but we do not suggest that Maxine represents all young people in this situation. It is clear that our fictional families’ problems are complex, as Maxine’s parents both clearly wish to protect their child, but cannot agree on the best course of action, and this conflict is itself shown to be damaging to Maxine’s wellbeing.

Nevertheless, thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.

Yours sincerely,

Charlie
Viewer Services Supervisor

OP posts:
TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 24/10/2018 13:44

'lived experience' - they like the phrase so much they've used it twice.

AbsintheFriends · 24/10/2018 13:53

'Nevertheless, thank you for sharing your thoughts with us' = 'More fool you for wasting your time."

Unfortunately for Charlie, the viewing figures show that the nation shares your thoughts, OP.

NopeNi · 24/10/2018 14:43

Well they were hardly going to say "fair enough". They have totally drunk, swum in, and then sprayed the koolaid everywhere.

Give it time and I hope some of them are filled with fucking remorse for the lives they have affected.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 24/10/2018 14:47

Write back and say you don't think his response is adequate and you will be complaining to Ofcom.
I think there's more point in doing that anyway than complaining to ITV tbh.

PencilsInSpace · 24/10/2018 14:51

Escalate to Ofcom www.ofcom.org.uk/complain-to-ofcom

RhythmStix · 24/10/2018 16:01

What are your objections to this programme?

ShineyNewName5032 · 24/10/2018 16:11

@RhytmStix - do you really need to ask. Portraying self harm/suicide attempts to emotionally manipulate and coerce parents in a dysfunctional family should not be viewed as "entertainment"

OP posts:
OlennasWimple · 24/10/2018 16:16

So not only are parents who don't whisk their DC along to the clinic for puberty blockers evil, any disagreement between them about the right course of action in this difficult and distressing situation is also responsible for damaging their DC

Hmm
AspieAndProud · 24/10/2018 17:12

What are your objections to this programme?

It violates media guidelines on the portrayal of suicide, for one thing.

spannablue · 24/10/2018 18:13

Based on experience Butterfly is very realistic

OldCrone · 24/10/2018 18:23

Based on experience Butterfly is very realistic

Why do such people choose to live in some sort of Victorian world, when expectations of what girls and boys should do, wear and play with were so rigid? Maybe you can answer that, spannablue?

SirVixofVixHall · 24/10/2018 19:38

Actually in Victorian times boys wore dresses until they were six or so, and children’s toys weren’t gendered much at all ,apart from dolls. Children played the same games and with the same toys, whatever their sex. I was a child in the late 60s and 70s things were much less pink/blue then too. We all wore similar clothes and had much the same toys apart from the Sindy /Action man divide. My brother had a baby doll as a small boy , in the 60s.

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 24/10/2018 19:42

My brother had a baby doll as a small boy , in the 60s.

My son had a baby doll and a buggy in which to push it around in the 1990s. This hyper gendered stuff is partly down to the parents and their prejudices.

AspieAndProud · 24/10/2018 19:46

Based on experience Butterfly is very realistic

You have my sympathies if that’s true. It can’t have been easy having a mother who thought playing with dolls was cause for medical intervention.

canihaveanap · 24/10/2018 20:22

Some people on these boards can be quite cruel with their insinuations.

I can also stand up and say that based on lived experiences the drama was very realistic.

Not because my son played with dolls. Because he was adamant he should have been a girl.

The last thing parents or children in these situations need is judgey mumsnetters who think they have been pushed into some kind of treatment because they have picked up a doll 

I think some of the comments are people trying to make points and be clever but unless you have had the "lived experience" you just look more ignorant.

Coyoacan · 24/10/2018 20:58

The most significant issue is the portrayal of suicide and attempted suicide as a means for a child to get what they want. Very dangerous and very contagious.

VelvetReVulva · 24/10/2018 21:06

The ‘lived experience’ term is starting to be really cringey.

canihaveanap · 24/10/2018 21:06

That I agree with coco

OldCrone · 24/10/2018 21:09

Actually in Victorian times boys wore dresses until they were six or so, and children’s toys weren’t gendered much at all ,apart from dolls.

I think the expectations in earlier times were much more sex-specific, certainly by the time the children were approaching puberty like the child in the programme. By the 60s when I was a child, children were allowed to play with anything, but now we've gone backwards so that anyone who isn't totally in their gendered box needs medicating. Insanity.

OlennasWimple · 24/10/2018 21:28

We have photos of my grandad wearing a dress - boys then only wore trousers after they turned 7. He was born in the 1920s

HopeGarden · 24/10/2018 21:46

Ive only seen the first episode.

No idea how realistic it is from a transgender POV.

But the way they portrayed the attempted suicide in the first episode was very disturbing.

It very much came across to me, as a child unhappy about his parents separation attempting suicide in order to stop his mum going on a date with a new man. And then because of the suicide attempt, dad moves back home.

That message - that attempting suicide is an effective way to get what you want - is a very, very irresponsible and dangerous message to send out.

Feminist4 · 24/10/2018 21:49

But if it weren’t about a trans girl you wouldn’t be up in arms.

Feminist4 · 24/10/2018 21:52

Csnihaveanap. I agree with you. It is an excellent programme and deals with the awful conflict of having to decide whether to live a lie or to be honest with parents who may reject you for being who you truly are.

OldCrone · 24/10/2018 21:53

That message - that attempting suicide is an effective way to get what you want - is a very, very irresponsible and dangerous message to send out.

Totally agree. Worth a complaint for that alone.

Feminist4 · 24/10/2018 21:55

It's not worth a complaint, because it deals with the realities these kids face.