Completed the consultation- have YOU?

[poshme]

I have just completed the online consultation.

Thank you to fairplayforwomen for the helpful guidance.

Once I got going I typed rather a lot!

It didn't take too long.

THERES ONLY A WEEK LEFT!!!

Do it today.

(Sorry can't link as I'm on my phone which keeps playing up!

I've been helping members of my family and friends fill out the consultation.

At the end of one session, a friend remarked dryly: So, this what it's like to be in an extremist hate group. I thought that there'd be some sedition, not snacks and tech support.

I've got as far as Q17. The questions, and underlying assumptions, are making me SO cross. My responses are getting less and less polite and measured as I go on.

I completely ditched my female socialisation by about question 5, pinch.

All done - did it with my mum. She is elderly and it's terrifying to think she might be treated by some mad bloke with stubble and insisting he's a woman like her if she ever needs to go to hospital.

Also got my friend at work to fill it in. She hadn't heard of it.

ROFL Popchyk

By Q25 I'll have gone nuclear!

It's quite something, isn't it? We should perhaps thank trans rights advocacy for radicalising a generation of what could otherwise have been politely ineffectual feminists.

[hunts for silver lining to having to spend a sunny afternoon responding to this ludicrous consultation on how to erase women's rights]

All done.

So shocked that a consultation on something that will affect all women is almost incomprehensible to read. Also by how little the government have done to make the general public aware that this is happening.

Done. The FPFW guide was really helpful.

Done. I used the FPFW and WPUK guides and other reading I have done all over the place, and wrote my own responses. It got quite long in places. Done now though.

Yes.

I did complain about how bloody difficult it was to understand, and how few questions there were that said 'If you are female, do you mind sharing with males in this situation?'

Another fight with DH last night and then today's Women's Hour debacle has kicked me into further action - I filled out the consultation, and wrote to my MP.

I just don't know what to do about DH. He basically is still in the mindset that trans people have really tough lives and face serious barriers and discrimination, so we should be doing anything we can to reduce those barriers. None of which I disagree with!! But he just cannot discuss the effect on women's rights, he won't admit that there is any conflict of rights at all and if there is we have to consider the feelings of trans people first. He seems to feel any stance which isn't including trans people in with open arms into whatever they want is mean and hateful and says that I sound so horrible and angry when I talk about it "like some kind of frothing Daily Mail columnist" When I tell him about things that are already happening eg. Karen White "well those were just mistakes, won't happen again". It's like his whole brain has been turned off by "don't be mean". So now we are just in a silent stand-off about it.

We were at dinner last night with another couple who turned out both to be gender critical, hurrah, so we were all chatting away happily about all the problems we see with self-ID and the effect on women's rights. And DH sat there in stony silence. Other couple DH said "well DH what do you think?" and my DH said "I think we need to be thinking about actual trans people, who aren't threatening anyone" and stalked off to the loo making us all feel like shit and the evening never really recovered

Well would your dh consider dating a transwoman? And if not, is he happy for that to be viewed as transphobic of him?

Bees I have to ask him, but I fear he would say something ridiculous about "well it depends on who she is" etc. All very well for him to say when it's a completely theoretical possibility. We are now in polite "talk about anything else but the elephant in the room" mode...ugh I hate it!!

But at least it has galvanised me to finally finish the consultation! I was quite eloquent on the insurance question (am a statistician by training) and it did make me think that probably not many people have answered that one in as much boring detail as me

That's surely a good thing, Xiao? (the detailed answer)

I did it, not sure if it’s right or not as it was quite weirdly worded but anyway.

Does he know who he means by 'actual transpeople', and does he have any personal limits on those he would consider to be trans?

If you said you were trans, would he believe you?

How about his dad, his neighbour, a boy in his daughter's class, his own children? Are they all trans the moment they say so, no questions asked?

xiao it would really pain me to live with someone who felt like that. My husband was also in the ‘let’s be nice’ camp til we actually debated the issues and then he understood that it did have real consequences.

As we live in Asia, the issues are quite different here (we’re still in the “are they gay or what” phase here, with a delightful smattering of trans brothels for good measure) but it’s absolutely not the issue it is in the west.

Finally finished. Started two months ago, but there has been so much to incorporate I am glad I waited

I just did mine! Fairplay for Woman and A Woman's Place guidance were exceptionally helpful.
Thank you!

Xiaoxiong, my DH is exactly the same. He won't even try to understand, he just walks away whenever I try to discuss it. This is a man who usually relishes a political discussion, researches facts and especially loves arguing with people who have a different viewpoint and trying to take down their argument. This time - nothing. It's actually really odd and completely out of character. Like he's been brainwashed or something.

Xiao, I asked (similar-sounding) DH about the latest friend's child to declare themselves trans: 'Do you really think Sarah is a boy now?'

He immediately said 'No, of course not, but I can't see what harm it does if it makes her happier.'

We took it from there -- 'so why should women 'really think' male people are female in all circumstances?'

I'll get back to him on 'what harm does it do to Sarah', as I doubt it's something he's thought about.

That is crazy to read that you are all having a similar experience, why are so many otherwise liberal feminist men refusing to even talk about this!? DH teaches a unit on academic feminism every year for god's sake, he knows more about this stuff than I do. But suddenly this is all too difficult to discuss with me!?

Done!

Xiaoxiong
DH teaches a unit on academic feminism every year for god's sake, he knows more about this stuff than I do. But suddenly this is all too difficult to discuss with me!?

Scary stuff.

Thankfully my husband seems to agree with me, I've sent him the one click consultation. Also braved speaking about it with a close friend today. She's also signed. It's awful worrying people might think you're a dreadful person for having concerns. I don't want to make dysphoric people's lives harder, I just don't understand how the umbrella for trans has become so vast it emcompasses people who don't have women's interests at heart. To say the least.

Done. Phew.

Yep. Lurked for ages on these boards. I'm in.