Aggressive Feminism Boards

[PerverseConverse]

I've been on this board for a while now and long enough to understand the issues and why women are so vocal about them and angry that our rights are threatened.
I'm frustrated reading on other threads, or on social media that this board is aggressive, shoots down discussion, and calls people names if their views don't match the majority. I can't say that I've seen that myself. All I see is intelligent discussion and persuasive arguments. Any goadiness is appropriately dealt with from what I've read as are any views that don't match reality. Maybe that's what upsets people: that their delusions are challenged with indisputable reality.
I'm still new to feminism and learning daily but I see women fighting for other women and prepared to get flak for that. I see some women who have been well and truly brainwashed by the trans movement and by men and the patriarchy in general. And that's the other criticism: that we are too focused on the trans issue. That makes me angry. The trans issue is the major one affecting women and girls at the moment and it's right that we are focused on it.
These complaints are coming from women who are calling themselves feminists and it baffles me completely that feminists can't understand the biggest threat to women and girls.
Now, I'm aware these so called feminists may well be trolls but I don't think they all are. How can some feminists be so opposed to other feminists passionately protecting their rights? Rights that are for ALL women.

I'm frustrated reading on other threads, or on social media that this board is aggressive, shoots down discussion, and calls people names if their views don't match the majority. I can't say that I've seen that myself.
Yep. Re read the OP. Even included the bit where they say that they don't agree.

My point being that they've seen on other threads that this board is aggressive, shoots down opinion etc. The OP has seen that in more places than just this one thread, said by more people than just me.

So it isn't just me making it up. Others people see it too. Whether you do or not. Whether you acknowledge it or not.

We are seeing it and experiencing it.

Eh, so posters saying they have never seen the behavior you describe is gaslighiting? Rather than them just saying they have not seen it?

It's the twisting of words. The wilful or otherwise refusal to see what is being said and saying something else instead. That's gaslighting - making people doubt what they said. Happens all the time.

We are seeing it and experiencing it.

Some people see and experience things differently though.

I have asked you to stop @ing me. Many people have a problem with it. It's intrusive. Please respect my wishes. I am right here on the thread.
And where have I done it since you asked me to stop? So why the need to keep saying it?

No it isnt. Stop minimising abuse.

The OP is about false claims. You are actually confirming everything OP wrote in her opening post.

You don't think any posters are obvious trolls, ever? hmm

Hell no. I think people are shit at spotting trolls and mostly call troll on someone who disagrees with them and doesn't back down.

And where have I done it since you asked me to stop? So why the need to keep saying it?

You implied you weren't going to stop. If you are, then thanks, that's good.

My point being that they've seen on other threads that this board is aggressive, shoots down opinion etc. The OP has seen that in more places than just this one thread, said by more people than just me.

Yes many places dislike women having a place to speak (sort of) freely. TRAs like to say MN is aggressive a lot. They deliberately twist our posts and in many cases outright make stuff up. Even before the trans stuff, MN had a reputation for being a 'nest of vipers'..its nothing new, that people have an issue with a forum thats majority female. They seem to find it horrendous that we swear too. Its odd though, that piostonheads, reddit and such, do not get people pointing out the 'aggression ' and such. Only ever MN. Hmm.

See people on other boards will say this, but can never back up what they say. If this board really was as aggressive as they claim, with insults flying constantly, they would be able to find a lot of examples.

Much like the people who claim MN is transphobic. Can never actually post examples of this horrendous rampant transphobia. Sadly, we do get some actual transphobic posts, but they are deleted quickly as members report them, and also...usually they are from brand new members, which I highly suspect is TRAs signing up to be transphobic so they can screenshot and use their own posts to show how transphobic we are, which is pathetic and transparent./ But there you go.

Hell no. I think people are shit at spotting trolls and mostly call troll on someone who disagrees with them and doesn't back down.

OK, agree to disagree in that case. I think its extremely obvious in a lot of cases that someone is trolling, though I am sorry for the experience you went through and I do think sometimes people calling troll do so way too quickly and with little evidence.

Some people see and experience things differently though.

But that's the thing about experiences - it's not for you to validate or deny my experience.

You say something to me. I say that made me feel X. You can't say no it didn't. You may not have intended it to but you can't deny my feelings about it.

Same as this. I was repeatedly called a man. Insulted. Had my opinions dismissed as a man. That made me feel that I should avoid posting in the future. That is my experience. If the thread hadn't been deleted, as the others over the weekend were, you could see it for yourself.

*Bolloxio

Yeah, I have never ever seen anyone 'shouted down' or 'piled on' on here. Yess, a lot of people will post, as the board is busy. But having a lot of people opposing your opinion is not being 'shouted down'. Like, on rare times when I( venture onto AIBU, I have had hundreds and hundreds of posts saying I was being unreasonable..I didn't then go off whinging that people shouted me down or all piled on or whatever, thats just ridiculous. Of course people have differtent opinions on different subjects

It seems what people want posters here to do, is if someone posts something, only one personn reply to that poster, regardless of what they said, as any more than that disagreeing is aggressive shouting down. Its just bloody ridiculou

Well said. I was trying to make this point on the AiBU thread. About having an extreme outlier opinion, large volume of disagreement is just that, stop smearing those who disagree.
You've said it much better.

Much like the people who claim MN is transphobic. Can never actually post examples of this horrendous rampant transphobia

Threads do get pulled if they get particularly bad. The park run thread for example. Gone.
As for individual posts, MN only deletes them if they're reported. Only then only some.
If people who do make transphobic comments, can't even see when they're being transphobic or refuse to believe that they are even when pointed out, how will they ever know to report them in the first place?
They're all over, but not if you can't or won't see them.

Disagreeing is fine. That's what we are all doing here.

Name calling, misgendering, advanced searching me and then posting from other threads that I'd been on, repeatedly calling me a man, denying that I had given birth because I was a man, calling me a MRA, a troll and a hand maiden - not disagreeing, just being abusive.

So it's hard to point to particularly awful threads if they don't exist anymore really.

I think some of this comes down to how one engages with a forum. I've seen the same play out on all kinds of sites (not just feminist ones) when posters with different types of engagement interact.

Some post only when they agree with other posts and find common ground and others are only moved to post only when they disagree. If on a topic-specific board one only posts to disagree, then the impression over time will be one of belligerence. And if one only posts to agree, then the impression will be of an echo chamber, if enough people are doing the same.

^If people who do make transphobic comments, can't even see when they're being transphobic or refuse to believe that they are even when pointed out, how will they ever know to report them in the first place?
They're all over, but not if you can't or won't see them.^

It's not just regular FWR posters reading and able to report on FWR threads.

Name calling, misgendering, advanced searching me and then posting from other threads that I'd been on, repeatedly calling me a man, denying that I had given birth because I was a man, calling me a MRA, a troll and a hand maiden - not disagreeing, just being abusive

Exactly. Plus you forgot being accused of sock puppeting yourself if someone else comes on and agrees with you. That's another favourite.

I'd like a definition of transphobia.

Only what I think is transphobic clearly can't be because I am seeing examples of that repeatedly and apparently transphobia doesn't happen here.

Why don't you define transphobia for us?

Anyway, I didn't mean to get drawn into this thread, my plan was to post my original post then leave it, as I know how these threads go in general. People will give their opinion on the topic, then because a lot of people have said the same thing, it will be a 'pile on' or ;shouting people down' or whatever. Its just round and round and round.

Though I do feel I should give some context to when I was told I had a very male opinion (which is pretty much the same as calling me a man)

I had only just discovered the feminism boards, and I was aghast that all of the topics were about female people (its ridiculous looking back) and that 'male violence' was said a lot.

I got into an argument when I asked why feminists weren't concerned about how men don't get custody most of the time..or how false accusations can ruin lives, as feminism is meant to be about equality, not all about women. Somehow the conversation moved onto violence against female people, and again posters were using the term 'male violence'. I was one of those who were all 'its people who commit violence, not males' and had my arse handed to me on a plate, rightly. I was toold I sounded like a MRA, and that my attitude was very male.

Looking back I absolutely deserved it. I WAS using MRA talking points and just being all ridiculous and 'not all men' like. I completely understand why people thought I was a man. as I was dismissing women completely really and sticking up for men, and expecting feminists to be focused on things to help men, rather than about women.

So yeah. Thast why I was called a man, and I understand it. It took me a few months to realise that I was indeed very wrong, but I do accept it now and am thankful tbh to the FWR regulars who put me straight. I believe it was Buffy, who called me a male. I miss her so much. I love having women here who are not afraid to be forceful with their opinions and give not a fuck if people call them aggressive.

Exactly. Plus you forgot being accused of sock puppeting yourself if someone else comes on and agrees with you. That's another favourite.

Absolutely.

Already have. But you especially and on this thread clearly don't agree as you your words don't ever believe that a transwoman will ever be a woman. So you're never going to see transphobia, are you as you said yourself they're always male.

It's not the end of the world being called a man, is it? You know you aren't. The idea that it is some devastating insult is weird.

It's not just regular FWR posters reading and able to report on FWR threads

Reported a lot of posts on a thread one night - all got deleted.

Thing is though then they're gone. So then people can say it doesn't happen, prove that it does. Which I can't because they were deleted.

So you're never going to see transphobia, are you as you said yourself they're always male.

They literally are. How is that "transphobia"?