wrexhamtrans
If like me you live in North Wales you have to travel to Charing Cross and expect a 2 year wait
So in line with the waiting time for life-saving mental health services then? I travelled 200 miles weekly for eight weeks because I had joined a waiting list for CBT, moved away a year later to escape an abusive OH, and then was forwarded a letter from my old address telling me when my therapy would start. I had a choice: travel to the appointments, or wait another year. I went into debt to afford the train fares. The problems you are describing have nothing to do with you being trans and everything to do with successive governments undermining, underfunding, and now openly dismantling our health service.
I am a depressive with three suicide attempts and uncountable self-harm scars to my name. Despite my life being at risk from suicide, I didn't go to illegal online psychiatrists to get psych meds without a formal diagnosis, even though my third suicide attempt was what put me on the CBT waiting list in the first place. There were times when I was waiting when I became convinced that I didn't have depression, that I was bipolar instead. Yet I didn't go online and get lithium from an illegal provider, I discussed my thoughts about my diagnosis with my GP and had my SSRIs changed (several times, in fact, with each change requiring standby support from a 24/7 crisis mental health team because the first few weeks of new meds poses a huge suicide risk). If I had obtained illegal lithium, I could have done myself immeasurable harm.
The point I'm not making at all well is that high suicide risk does not trump the need for proper medical assessment and supervision. There is also the possibility that self-diagnosis could be wrong, in which case hormones would be the wrong treatment. As a teen, I was pretty sure I should have been born a boy because I didn't like "girl things" (makeup, boy bands) and liked some "boy things" (problem-solving, meccano) and I hated how I was objectified as a girl and wanted not to be a girl to escape objectification. If I was a teen now, I would be suspected of being trans and would probably think myself that I was trans, when in fact I was traumatised by boys who had sexually assaulted me and regularly beaten me up. A thorough evaluation by a psychiatrist trained to look for sexual assault history would uncover that, an illegal online clinic would not.
If you have suicidal thoughts then you need to talk to someone: Samaritans 116 123 When I had been discharged from crisis mental health team and in hindsight shouldn't have been discharged quite so soon, the Sams were there.