This is wrong right?

[DukeOfSussex]

If your teenage daughter had her first week at the University of Sussex this week this is what found in her welcome bag.

A Pot Noodle, A tablet of washing detergent, a sim card and an individual sized portion of instant coffee.

AND

A picture of a woman designed to look like she has spunk dripping down her face to sell toothbrushes. "whether you spit or swallow during your twice daily oral regime..."

She'll also find a drinks night event by the Student union being advertised all over campus. It has a picture of a dead eyed half naked woman laying in an empty bath...which advertises what? Fuck knows.

She will also find a copy of the student newspaper in her bag. On the front cover at the very top of the page is an article entitled "Transphobia and toilets". This is discussing the recent words of University of Sussex philosophy professor Kathleen Stock who dared to very (politely) question some aspects of trans theory.

Your daughter, if disabled, will also be concerned to see that some of the disabled toilets have been declared "for all genders". Which is lovely and inclusive but not ideal if you're disabled and need a wee and need to wait for an able bodied non binary male wearing lipstick to go for a shit first.

She will find that the "This Sussex Girl Can" all women only classes are open to all "women, trans gender people and non binary individuals" so just mixed classes basically .

So far so expected of university in general but what upsets me is that people wanted Kathleen Stock's job for having an opinion. She caused students to feel "unsafe" with her very words, but in a world where women are literally unsafe and sexual assault is endemic in universities, Sussex student union didn't think twice before objectifying its female students. If your employer gave you a goody bag with this card in it you could rightfully be making a formal complaint to your HR department. Why is it appropriate for university?

We can't discuss why it's always a woman advertising drinks, or toothbrushes without discussing women and the group of people who actually deal with the real repercussions of being women. It's a bloody joke.Why don't people care about actual sexism, real life objectification of women.

And this really shook me up for the rest of the day so Dig in or Brushbox if you are reading this get a fucking grip.

MANNERS MAKETH THE MAN.

Stop hate mongering.

sorry for the derail

"That page on "initiations" on the Dig in website is no longer available. They're watching.."

Oh wow well good I suppose but WTAF was it even doing there in the first place?

Is there any way of finding out which other universities these boxes are being given out at? Specifically, the brush box ad?

Materialist, I'm so sorry, and I wish your daughter happiness, and here's to her future.

Materialist - I’m so sorry for your daughter And also sorry to say that you aren’t the first parent I’ve seen on here whose daughter has been raped at university. It’s horrific that it happens in the first place, but the cover ups by universities are another crime and must add significantly to the trauma.

It has made me think of this though.

Thistle - my DDs there doing a STEM degree, and it sounds like the majority manage a good work-life balance and civilised friendships. The same almost certainly applies at most unis. I have seen evidence a couple of years ago that 'laddish' (to put it mildly) behaviour is less bad on courses and in unis with more male than female students - I suppose they know they need to behave to be in with a chance.

However, that in no way means it's ok to put sexist crap in 'welcome' packs.

I'll be sure to let my dentist know that circulating objectifying and derogatory images of women improve oral health and ask her why she hasn't gone down this route before.

Poor choice of words there ^

Materialist I’m so sorry to hear what happened to your daughter.

I think that as ever the main problem is

That men > and it is men who come up with these hilarious ads > don't have any clue about how they land with women and girls. And, when they are told, they usually don't care.

I was a pretty "cool girl" at school and uni and laughed along with the "bantz" from the boys but, I often didn't feel entirely comfortable but I couldn't quite say why. If your friends find something funny then you want to laugh along, really, and what are the alternative options? Say something, but what? I didn't really have the language back then to articulate what made me uncomfortable. And on the occasions I did say that's not funny, it's not like they all go oh shit you're right we will change our ways all you do is look po-faced and they carry on anyway.

Strangely I was always actively pissed off about street harrassment right from the get-go. I never felt complimented or wondered what I had done wrong - I correctly identified that they were arseholes and what they were doing was shit and it was not personal. With boys in my friendship groups though when the talk / jokes were of things that were objectifying / demeaning, I found it harder to identify and just felt a bit like I didn't like it, I didn't know why really, but that was how things were and go along with it or stop being friends with them.

The reason I say this is there is an age and experience thing going on. The same dynamic is going on.They wouldn't make these and aim them at adult women. Same as men who carry out street harrassment tend to focus heavily on age range puberty > early 20s and then it starts to die down gradually. Younger girls and women don't know how to react, they try to laugh along, they rarely say fuck this shit. But it is true that this imagery and message will have made a lot of girls feel pretty uncomfortable, they won't know what to do with that feeling though.

And of course it will add on to the years most of them will have had of being randomly reminded when they're minding their own business doing whatever, that their primary purpose is for men to fuck.

Men > like the ones who made this leaflet > they don't care about that though. They say hahaha it's bantz and see it as one little thing why not ignore it, willfully ignorant of the fact that lots of girls will have been advised that their purpose is to suck cock / show their tits / get in the car / what the fuck ever since they were at secondary school.

What a thing to be reminded of totally at random with something that is supposed to be a present in your first week of university.

I'm sure most of the male students found it pretty funny / clever >> but they're not going to buy this are they? Do any of you know any male students who would have subscribed to a tootbrush delivery service?

The advert is incomprehensible if it's aimed mainly at a female market TBH. Which I'm sure it is.

I had no idea that disabled is a gender now...

I sense-checked this with someone of the right uni age and a female this evening. Didn't say anything, no context, just showed her the beermat pictures.

Her jaw dropped.

I know this is a survey of one, but I don't think we're out of step here in flagging that women know what this is saying and what it represents.

This isn't a generational thing. It's a woman thing - I am concerned that in the current climate that our fellow women of a younger age have less tools available to them to be able to say why this is so wrong. Not because they're inarticulate, but because they're boxed in by queer/kink/identity/third-wave feminism/backwards slide towards the 70's/porn culture.

It's shit.

Dig In/Brushwhatever you are. Stop digging your hole, dig back out. Support women. Admit that was a crap move and redeem yourselves.

Women don't deserve to be reduced to a half-face that both imitates porn images and signifies a passive receptacle of jizz.

Disgusting.

I hope they have something like this next year captioned with:

make sure you only put the best of things in your mouth. Always aim for a balanced diet and a dashing naked man on your sofa.

bantz.

Ah yes... the bantz.

Banter is shorthand for; ‘I’m about to say something incredibly grim, probably sexist and it’s going to make you very uncomfortable. But if you react to it, or take me up on it I’m going to accuse you of being uptight/frigid.’

Its a truth universally acknowledged that anyone using the term ‘banter’ as an excuse is a weapons grade arsehole. It’s a deflection tool, used by tools.

@Brushbox. you know perfectly well you had no intention of apologising. That was not an apology. You know that.
Eyebrows raising is minimising a serious problem. YOU are the problem here.

This isn't a generational thing. It's a woman thing - I am concerned that in the current climate that our fellow women of a younger age have less tools available to them to be able to say why this is so wrong. Not because they're inarticulate, but because they're boxed in by queer/kink/identity/third-wave feminism/backwards slide towards the 70's/porn culture

Pombear. Me too. That's what I fear. Porn culture was coming in with Nuts and Zoo as I left uni in the 90s. Then along came the Internet, then mobile phones, then smartphones. And only now are the government making sex and relationship education compulsory in all schools. The last time the recommended curriculum was updated was 2000. The year the current cohort of new students were born. It is unacceptable but few people with clout appear to care.

We are powerful. If we have a pension, or share portfolio etc as part of an ISA, or whatever, you can find out whether your savings are part of Brushbox or any part of this scandal. We can research the firms involved and withdraw any money from that part.
For example my pension includes shares but I can look into Brushbox/any relevant part to withdraw finance. Or find out what to do from my pension provider- say, if any company complicit, does not get my money.
They don't care and have made that blatantly obvious.
So hit them where it hurts.

'Dig In' promote Amazon, the well-known tax avoiders.

The pornification of everything marches on. I'd hate to be a young woman now, it's brutal.

The only thing worse than this pornified commodification of young women (in 'the name of oral health'!), is that @BrushboxUK had the audacity to defend it.

This is something we feel passionately about and the fact is that conventional methods of highlighting these fact to people, to date, have not worked. Whilst our image was intended to raise eyebrows, at no point in time was it ever our intention to cause outright offence. In particular, there was never any suggestion or intention (consciously or unconsciously) to be derogatory towards women in any way shape or form, this is something we would never do and we are sorry if this has in any way made you feel this way.

The 1950s called, and want their apologies for "accidental" sexism back.

Of course you KNEW it was derogatory towards women, portraying them as 'cum dumpsters' - you just did not think you would get called out for it. Well, you did. It will not be forgotten either.

In particular, there was never any suggestion or intention (consciously or unconsciously) to be derogatory towards women in any way shape or form, this is something we would never do and we are sorry if this has in any way made you feel this way.

Pretty stupid to say you'd never do something when you've just done it. And some men will see that "apology" and think, hey, if I "have sex" with a woman and she doesn't like it I can just say "well, I would never rape a woman, and I'm sorry if you interpreted it that way". Same principle.

Coming in late so nothing to add beyond being appalled. DD2 is just getting down to UCAS application, she's been lucky enough to go to a girls only school which has largely protected her from all this, but on the other hand, in no way is she equipped to deal with it. Thank goodness for all the women on here and twitter kicking up and looking out for these young girls. Has there been a response from the University or from students/freshers there?

Side issue - who the hell buys into a toothbrush delivery service?