Stunning, brave translady is both stunning and brave

[CaitlynsCat]

www.leicestermercury.co.uk/news/leicester-news/decisions-led-dad-become-transgender-1944624

"As well as having made the huge decision to begin transgender treatment, Martin also decided that he would not hide any longer.

He would come out as a transgender woman - as Katie - in a way which was very publicly indeed.

Since then, he has been shouting his experiences from the rooftops via social media and local radio and – by and large – has received something of a hero’s welcome."

"Martin/Katie was not only heterosexual, he wanted a child.

He cut his hair, fell in love and the couple had a child together, who is the apple of his eye.

Then in May last year, Martin went to see a clairvoyant he had met at a business networking meeting.

“I went along for a reading because I’d never been to one and I was intrigued,” she says.

What she told him was that he needed to start a new way of being and said there was a part of him that had always been there but that he was not fully in integrity with."

"after that, my gender dysphoria increased dramatically – I was so desperate to identify myself I even Googled ‘what gender is Martin Neeves?’ ”

Desperate, confused and in turmoil, he joined a support group on social media and someone suggested he should see a specialist gender counsellor.

After four successful sessions, in which he says he "hit the ground running", he felt that he was "gender fluid" ("nature doesn’t do black and white, it presents a whole spectrum.")"

"Katie now says: “After counselling and working through therapy on how to identify your gender, I now know I am 70 percent female and 30 percent male.

"It was my fear stopping me from admitting I am actually a transgender woman.”

A second visit to the clairvoyant resulted in a four-hour clarification session using deep meditation and other methods as a way of encouraging and revealing inner truth, with all the answers coming from Martin."

"She looks wonderful and feels great. Her prescribed hormones have made her skin soft, and as a naturally slightly-built person, she has an enviable figure.

She counts herself lucky as many other transgender women are naturally of a heavy build.

Brave determination has paid off, she is happier and more relaxed than ever.

Katie’s name will not be considered for the long waiting list for the actual operation to make her into a woman sexually, until she has lived full-time for a woman as a year."

You're far more tactful than me Dommina, and of course you're right.

birdbandit - "I think they are going with the "Two Spirit" ideology".

Even in Two-sprit, I think that gender identity is believed to be internal and not dependent on other people checking genitals at birth.

To be accepted as two-spirit seems to require approval from community elders but this seems to usually occur during adolescence, based on a history of gender non-conformity through childhood.

I just don't see how some can read that article and not notice the glaring big red flags scattered throughout.

Baffling.

Oi folks 😳, I’m Scottish and we do genuinely often use generic ‘folks’, although I’m weaning myself off it since I realised it dismisses female sex and although ostensibly a sex neutral term, certainly implies males more than females when referring to a mixed group. It does creep into my speech though so every day is a school day. Other than that, nothing to say about the PP.

I did an online one, and I’m 87% male and DH is 90% female. We decided, based on tired old heteronormative tropes, that this is why it works (because heaven forfend two females or two males could have a cracking relationship 😳. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked ‘who’s the man’ when in single sex relationships 🙄

Has this particular trans woman done something specific to offend your feminist principles?

Yes, promoting the idea that male-bodied people can be women. That is not part of my feminist principles.

Dresses and makeup do not a female make, however I do believe there are innate differences between male and females, as in many other animals.

What kind of differences are you talking about and what evidence are you basing it on? Really not being goady, I am pretty gender critical but still try and keep an open mind on this subject.

What the fuck has Katie got to do with it, other than not sacrificing her award on the basis of your principles?

If I got a letter offering me a knighthood, I'd refuse it as I've done nothing to deserve it.
(Of course, not everyone thinks that way.)

I think being born generally taller, generally stronger, generally with higher levels of certain hormones, and generally with less of others (all subject to regional variation 😉) is pretty innate.

Ah vesuvia, I didn't know that was the definition, thank you.

I've had it described to me differently. Your definition definitely makes for a more personally responsible approach.

Rat I am very sorry you have had a traumatic time recently. I hope you're ok.

Individuals like this do harm. This is not someone trying to live a quiet life as a woman. This is someone who is a)flaunting his fetish - I don't take kindly to being given no choice as to whether or not I am involved in someone getting their rocks off - and b) actively trying to establish a public platform for themselves. He has started a You Tube channel and is actively courting press attention.

I am aware that to you, a gender identity is a tangible thing and that he is a woman because he says he is. But there are many, many other women here who are saying that biological sex matters to them for some very serious reasons. This man is eroding boundaries and putting pressure on vulnerable women to swallow their own feelings and let him in where he isn't wanted. I am extremely cynical about any male who courts publicity over these issues. By setting himself up as a brave transwoman in the public arena, he will be making women doubt themselves- women who want sex segregayed spaves but who suddenly fear saying anything lest they be branded a bigot, for example.

Can you not see that saying you're '70% female' is extremely offensive to those women who've been disadvantaged directly because of their sex? Would he say that to a girl who had survived fgm as a child and who couldn't identify out of their attack by claiming they were 70% male?

Honestly you are an intelligent woman - it doesn't seem likely you don't get this. I think if you make a tit of yourself by talking about seeing a clairvoyant and reducing being female down to a feeling you deserve a ribbing. Ridicule is quite a powerful tool to take the harm out of something. Men like this are doing harm.

sex segregayed spaves

Sorry, my phone seems to have a lisp

I am often in the company of lovely and genuine TW and TM.

But if those people won't think about the safeguarding dangers ahead, from uncritically accepting anyone as the sex they choose to identify as, are they really so lovely?

Or, have they thought about it and they have a solution ready, Dommina?

You'll notice this is my first post on the FWR boards for quite some time.

Quite some time like yesterday Rat? You know, when you said you didn't want to say what sport you were expert in?

Is yesterday quite some time? Hmmmm.

I really miss the days when the male midlife crisis just involved buying a sports car and getting a hair transplant.

So true.

Good post gendercritter.

"Shame" and age 3 are all part of the script. I've watched my STBXHs narrative change from "I have a sissy/humiliation/crossdressing fetish" to a more palatable script about gender feelings, over the last couple of years.

Really sorry you have gone through some shit Bird

I think that having deep shame from a childhood event - usually not a one off - doesn't mean that you have to validate whatever strange behaviours come out of that or that society should enable that.

Having gender ideology bollocks to latch onto just gives these men an excuse not to do the emotional and psychological work that so many women have to, in order not to become warped human beings.

We need men to work harder, but as so often the take they easy path and bulldoze women and children to get what they want.

Thanks gendercritter, I'm okay. Less in control of my emotions in the short term it would seem, but I hope I haven't snarled at anyone too hurtfully.

There's a lot in your post. I don't disagree with many of the premises but I do come to different conclusions, which I think is okay - for both of us. But I will rebuke one thing...

This idea of "flaunting a fetish". The thing with involving someone in your fetish against their consent is that that is only actually prohibited - or even policeable - when the perpetrator is actually doing something outside of the social norm, or the victim is caused tangible harm. To otherwise police whether or not someone finds something arousing is entirely dependent on policing their thoughts. And we don't do that in a civilised society.

So you think someone's trangenderism is a fetish. If that person goes about their life - in toilets, changing rooms, wherever they're permitted - in a respectful, law abiding and polite fashion they have not victimised anyone (as is the case with voyeurism, for example). Nor have they haven't behaved inappropriately for their own sexual thrills (as is the case of exhibitionism, for example). So whatever it is you want to demonise them for, it is only what you believe is inside their heads.

And we don't do that.

Quite some time like yesterday Rat? You know, when you said you didn't want to say what sport you were expert in?

Is yesterday quite some time? Hmmmm.

If you look very closely you'll notice that was on AIBU darling.

Hear hear seafret

Society also needs to decide how much support it's prepared to pay for for victims, for themselves and lest they become perpetrators too

Absolutely Ladybirds we need to break the cycle. We need more intervention and safeguarding, not less.

This trans male is nobody special or distinctive actually. Women wear wigs and make up every day - so what. Bravery is a woman saying No. No, you don't get to work your shit out by abusing us.

Rats, what we don't do in a civilised society is turn a blind eye, or accept it as someone's "right" to involve others either unwittingly and unwillingly in their sex game. Because they "aren't doing any harm".

Who decides whether harm is possible, when you remove the safeguards.

birdbandit I'll tell you who decides whether criminal harm has been caused to a victim...

THE LAW.

Rats, you are as guilty as anyone else of projecting your ideas of what transgender "is".

In your case, you see the evidence, and based upon your understanding (?) come to the conclusion that the person means no harm.

I see the evidence, and based upon my experience, I worry about this individuals child, and their rights in this.

Still telling ppl rat

What to say

What to think

What to write

Well the laws about to be changed, a new loophole for the abuser/ voyeur etc, and given we can only accomplish what was it a 2% conviction rate for sexual assaults that's not a loophole we need.

And women wanting to fight sexual discrimination in the future? Another massive loophole there.