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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

We are different

501 replies

askingquestionsisok · 24/08/2018 16:58

Is it wrong if me to feel like there are differences between men and women and that's what makes us human?

Aside from equal pay debate (I believe same job, same pay) and similar- I do believe that there are inherent, natural differences between men and women. But it doesn't seem ok to think this or say it anymore?!

I also feel like a lot of 'feminists' use that umbrella to man- bash. Don't get me wrong, I have known a good few awful men, I've also known a good few awful women. We can't tar everyone with the same brush?!

Thoughts?

OP posts:
thebewilderness · 25/08/2018 03:58

My grandpa used to cook oat meal into paste. It was so gross. I would pour boiling water on old fashioned rolled oats and that was plenty cooked enough for me.
I am trying to remember the last time I ate porridge or oatmeal or any other hot breakfast grain. 25 years I am guessing. Oatmeal cookies, on the other hand, are a splendid use for oats.

bourbonbiccy · 25/08/2018 06:11

neverbeen I don't think you should feel in the slightest bit intimidated by the intelligence of people on this post or MN in general. If you read some of the tripe and how childish some people can be, intelligence is definitely not a quality everyone displays.
Your beliefs and opinions are not any less valid than anyone else's in life

DixieFlatline · 25/08/2018 07:00

Your beliefs and opinions are not any less valid than anyone else's in life

Where to start? Think I’ll just grab some porridge and then go to bed...

Rufustheyawningreindeer · 25/08/2018 08:55

Coukd you make Palma violet gin

You must be able to....ds1 has discovered a taste for it Grin

Juells · 25/08/2018 09:12

askingquestionsisok Fri 24-Aug-18 21:25:58

Just sometimes, if I didnt think that some of you had far to much time on your hands....

Sounds like you've been here quite a lot, so I'm surprised that you haven't already seen all the threads that have been started to give people an introduction to the concerns of this board.

Initially I was prepared to believe that you were a wide-eyed innocent who just stumbled onto this board and just engaged badly, initially. But from this post it's obvious that you've been lurking for quite a while, and are full of suppressed rage at the women here.

DancelikeEmmaGoldman · 25/08/2018 09:18

DixieFlatline - this is my go-to article for comments such as, "Your beliefs and opinions are not any less valid than anyone else's in life."
(I know you didn't say that but were responding to it, which is why I thought you might enjoy Patrick Stokes' piece).

theconversation.com/no-youre-not-entitled-to-your-opinion-9978

Wilhamenawonka · 25/08/2018 09:27

Rufus you can make parma violet liqueur with the sweets
Also toffee and mint

sociopathsunited · 25/08/2018 09:47

Sigh. Let's face it, we're just womanning wrong. We're so bloody bad at wommaning that the menz have had to show us how to do it properly. Plus, of course, we have our regular lectures on womanning here. I'm dismayed, actually, at how long it's taking some of us to grasp the concept that womanning is something only the menz can do properly.

Seriously, peeps.
Get a grip.
Not a death grip, just a grip.

Juells · 25/08/2018 10:10

bourbonbiccy

You can no longer use these gender stereotypes as people get fiercely defensive on how this is the reason for societies failings

Ah, now you've gone and spoiled it.

LangCleg · 25/08/2018 10:11

I had a bacon sandwich for breakfast. Didn't make it myself. Was thinking of letting DH off his two minutes hate going over today as a reward but decided against it. Can't have him getting ideas.

CertainHalfDesertedStreets · 25/08/2018 10:20

I want to know about the different porridges please.

I have given up on the piccalilli. Sad For now.

FloralBunting · 25/08/2018 10:28

Picalilli on porridge. Delicious.

Beamur · 25/08/2018 10:29

I always put salt and sugar in porridge. Like a rustic salted caramel.
Mini weetabix with chocolate. Best cereal ever.
However, as it's the weekend I went mad and had an egg.
Feminism. It's about women. Best way I've found to get around the whataboutery it inevitably brings forth.

VickyEadie · 25/08/2018 11:36

Feminism. It's about women. Best way I've found to get around the whataboutery it inevitably brings forth.

I think our strapline could be 'By women, for women', couldn't it?

Melanippe · 25/08/2018 12:19

Well, this has been a thread and a half.

There are few innate differences between male and female infants, and what there are are purely structural rather than cognitive. Infants are socialised from before birth, expectations are placed upon them at all levels of social control, from families, where this socialisation is often subtle and leads to the kinds of "gotchas" that we see a lot on here. Little things like "ooh, boys will make a gun out of anything" are simple cognitive bias at work, girls play with objects in the same ways as boys, but where a boy will have made a "gun" out of stick, a girl will have made something else out of it according to those observing the behaviour.

This continues at school, where "boys will be boys" and girls should be seen and not heard. And I know someone will come back at me with the weird trope of school being set up to what girls are "good at", sitting still and working quietly, but that makes no sense at all, because for years girls were not allowed to attend schools and school at the time consisted of boys sitting at long rows of desks, sitting still and working quietly, which begs the question; is it just because now boys are experiencing competition with girls that they're doing less well, and what can men do about that apart from grizzling about how education is oh, so feminised?

I could go on and on about how the different expectations and socialisation of the sexes from before birth are responsible for the differences seen in male and female adults, but I suspect it would get boring.

Just one last thing... women have always fought in wars, they just haven't been given a uniform and a weapon with which to do it. Rape as a weapon of war has been documented since the dawn of time and continues to this day, even in theatres of war where you wouldn't expect it and from armies you would expect to behave better.

sociopathsunited · 25/08/2018 12:27

As JRR Tolkien wrote,

"Those without swords can still die on them"

Casualties of war aren't just on the front line. Saying that doesn't minimise, in any way, what the front line is like, but to ignore completely that women and children suffer greatly too, and with, I'd argue, even less reason (as they're NOT the ones carrying weapons, and they're NOT trained soldiers, and they're NOT actively engaged in hostilities)......well, frankly, the person who says that has forfeited their right to be listened to.

Melanippe · 25/08/2018 12:30

Exactly. Anyone who can, with a straight face, tell you that men have done all the fighting to keep women safe, simply haven't been concentrating. Or are being deliberately stupid.

Gingernaut · 25/08/2018 12:36

Men are just as emotional as women.

They are conditioned from an early age to 'suck it up', to be 'strong' and so on.

With the rate of male suicides and violence at the moment, any effort to let men be more demonstrative is a good one.

Hate Weetabix, btw.

sociopathsunited · 25/08/2018 12:37

Look up the butteries then Gingernaut

Your arteries will HATE you.

Thingybob · 25/08/2018 13:04

Melanippe

There are few innate differences between male and female infants

Hi, I'm the poster previously known as neverbeenafeminist.
I'm honestly not trying to be confrontational but I do have problems with that statement as much as I have problems with the statement 'Transwomen are women' I've tried reading most of the links posted on here but still can't see the evidence. Is your statement an accepted universal truth that all feminism is built on? Can I not be a feminist if I disagree?

My problems with the statement are;
Surely gender is in some ways personality and most scientists would accept that personality is partially innate
Why are some people not gender conforming. I'm not but my children and grandchildren generally are.
How do you explain the differences between siblings regarding gender conformity?

I'll take cover now and await the onslaught x

terryleather · 25/08/2018 13:07

Butteries are so excellently evil that they traditionally contained lard.

Best lightly grilled then troffed with salted butter slathered on and then a dollop of (preferably homemade) jam imao...I wish I had some now!

keepthechangeyafilthyanimal · 25/08/2018 13:09

Just out of interest...how do you know if someone should stick around a bit longer before they are allowed to speak?

Do you search their name to see what they have previously posted?

VickyEadie · 25/08/2018 13:13

Just out of interest...how do you know if someone should stick around a bit longer before they are allowed to speak? Do you search their name to see what they have previously posted?

There's no "allowed" about it. The advice given was to people who generally wade right in with non-feminist views on a Feminist forum.

People can post within seconds of joining MN, of course. They're just not going to get a hero's welcome if they pull sexist, anti-feminist crap.

terryleather · 25/08/2018 13:15

This sums up my feminist take on gender. Other opinions are available.

We are different
keepthechangeyafilthyanimal · 25/08/2018 13:15

Ok- that wasn't meant to be confrontational.

But genuinely, do you search to see if they are credible, have engaged before etc.

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