WtF can i do about this? Lecherous men harrasing my daighter, to the extent that she doesnt want to go out on her own!

[Moanslice]

Any advice massively welcom. My dd has just turned 13. She is 6ft tall and looks 16/17. When she goes out she get cat called, propositioned, chatted up... maybe 8 times out of 10. So, she has stopped leaving the house

I persuaded her to take the dog out today. Within 10 minutes she had a man kerb crawling her from behind. She said was he saw her face he must have realised how young she is and drove off

She cant NOT ever leave the house on her own, but this is awful. She isnt the kind of girl that would tell them to fuck off. Or say anything

Royally pissed off

If you creep around a house, trying the doors and windows and looking shifty you’ll get called a burglar. If you walk around waving a gun at people you’ll be called a gunman. If you keep going into a shop, checking out their CCTV and not buying anything, you’ll be called a thief.

There is of course a way to avoid being called any of those things. I’ve managed it my entire life.

Excellent! If enough people get lynched for harassing 13 year old girls, then maybe 13 year old girls will be able to leave the house without fear.
The current situation isn't exactly wonderful, hasn't changed for decades if ever, and leaves girls trapped and scared.

OMFG the poor men!

13 yo girls making false accusations that result in them being lynched!

Erm.

No, what normally happens is that 13 yo girls get shouted at, followed, propositioned, groped and raped. And nobody does anything.

VERY IMRPOTANT though on a thread like this to highlight the massive issue of 13 yo girls makign malicious accusations that result in the deaths by public lynching (when did this last happen in the UK???) of poor innocent men who were probably just being friendly.

1. This is not about catcalling, at least not just catcalling. It's about followinng, propositioning, leering at, kerb crawling. Way to minimise what OPs daughter is experiencing
2. She looked 16 honest! Yes let's be sure to bring the feeble excuse that all men make when challenged for trying to fuck children into the picture
3. How many men have been kicked to death or burned alive on the UK streets after a schoolgirl shouted "paedo" at a man who was sexually harrassign her. Or kynched. Come on. Lets see some evidence. The evidence I have seen is that 13 yo girls can be raped in their thousands and very few people care.
4. Fuck off.

@ifiwasabird: poor analogies. Harrassing a 13 year old girl who looks 16 is evidence that they are not paedophiles.

I'm not defending their actions in the slightest, but I shouldn't have to explain why wrongly accusing someone of being a paedo in public is a terrible idea.

They need not be either of those things Aris76, they just need to realise they are not entitled to embarrass or humiliate anyone.

So no, shouting that someone is a ‘paedo’ isn’t a great idea. But then, no one should be put in the position where it needs to be considered as an option.

Catcalling a 13 year old who looks 16 is a shitty thing to do; should they be kicked to death or burned alive for it?

and this has happened how many times exactly? I can tell you, it’s zero. Because, no-one listens to these girls!!! No-one takes it seriously, no-one cares that men are stalking children in the street and sexually harassing them. No-one but their parents. But people in the street? Nah, every day occurrence. Wouldn’t raise an eyebrow. Let alone a lynchmob.

Harrassing a 16 yo girl is also VERY MUCH NOT OK.

Jesus christ.

Let's see your evidence of men who have been BURNED TO DEATH after a 13 yo said "peado" at them in the street. Come on, we're waiting.

Do oyu know what maybe rather than saying that on top of CHILDREN being harassed sexually on the street they need to be careful what they say in case something bad happens to the man , MEN who harrass children on the street understand that there might be some fucking consequences because at the moment there ARE NONE. Let alone being pubically lynched by a mob what are you on.

You are living in a non existent imaginary world where a girl points and says "paedo" and the public all stop what they are doing, pour petrol over him and burn him to death. I cannot remember a single incident of this ever in the UK. You are part of the problem. You have an over active imagination.

And why do you keep going on about "looked 16"? She isn't 16. Loads of girls who are 11, 12, 13 apparently "look 16" becasue they're tall and or have tits etc. Society needs to adjust it's idea of what 13yo look like. OPs daughter is what 13 yo look like. She IS 13.

The entire point of those type of statements is to make girls and women second guess their instincts - don't do that - you might get into trouble.

My Fuck Off still stands.

Harassing a 13 year old girl who looks 16 is evidence that they are not paedophiles

😂😂😂

You don’t understand how evidence works.

lol good point

You can’t have evidence someone is not a paedophile. You can only have evidence they are. Lack of evidence does not mean they aren’t. It’s just means there is a lack of evidence that they are.

Because, no-one listens to these girls!!! No-one takes it seriously, no-one cares that men are stalking children in the street and sexually harassing them. No-one but their parents.

This.

It makes me so angry that I can barely post coherently.

Viewoffriday - I can’t understand why everyone isn’t absolutely fucking furious about it.

@arastaeus76: Harrassing a 13 year old girl who looks 16 is evidence that they are not paedophiles.

Bullshit. My local off-licence has a "Think 25" policy because "they looked 18" is not a defence.

I'm not defending their actions in the slightest, but I shouldn't have to explain why wrongly accusing someone of being a paedo in public is a terrible idea.

"She looked 16" is not a defence to statutory rape, which will put you on the sex offenders register as a paedophile, whether you think you are one or not. If someone expresses sexual interest in a child, they are a paedophile, just as if I express sexual interest in a man, I cannot be a lesbian.

Novel idea: try not harassing any women or girls. Then you don't have to worry about their age.

How many rules of misogyny apply to @Aristaeus76's views?

1. Teen girls are responsible for men objectifying them, by daring to look older than they are and daring to exist in public.
2. Teen girls telling predatory men "no" is a hate crime.
3. Men are whatever they say they are (ie "not paedos honest") and teen girls are whatever men say they are ("looks old enough").
4. The worst thing about men kerbcrawling teen girls is that it makes men look bad.
5. Basic pattern recognition that a man who kerbcrawls a teen girl is probably a kiddie fiddler and sexual predator is cruel because the man's feelings might get hurt.

I was hassled on the street from when I was 13.

I didn't tell my parents, ever, as I thought it'd somehow be my fault.

I was hassled all the fucking time. The worst was between the ages of 14 and 19 by fucking creeps.

By all means teach your girls to be confident and know they can defend themselves if they need to, but please don't teach them to challenge these guys. Some of them are not safe.

Most are just creeps, but one guy tried to pull me into his car, and others followed me, on foot or in cars or tried to get me to go with them. One pestered me to sell sex to him (he was offering £20 to go down an alleyway with him) and persisted, in broad daylight until my bus came, even though I told him I was only 14 and was not interested.

Let her know she should tell you every time it happens and please do contact the police.

JasmineByTheSea Re baggy clothes- When I was younger I was still harrassed when dressed ‘modestly’. I don’t think that’s the answer.

I was in loose jeans and a man's t-shirt when I was last harassed, by a drunken gaggle of lads yelling "I want to fuck you in the arse" at every woman on the down escalator bar the ONE who was with her husband at the railway station. I was in my late-thirties. Age and shape-concealing clothing are no barrier to male sexual aggression, but a man with you is. They see us as men's property and treat us like "lost and found" when we are out without a man.

One thing I did learn when I was being hassled, was your appearance does make a difference. I know it shouldn't, but it does.

I used to try to make myself look like a boy (wore jeans, trainers, hoodies) and walked with my hood up to hide my long blond hair when I was on my own. (Thank fuck I didn't also have to deal with people asking me if I was trans)

Interestingly, they didn't go for my friend with dreadlocks at all. When she combed them out at 25, she was surprised when she suddenly started getting loads of hassle in the street, she hadn't got it at all before.

If my DD wants dreads when she's older, I'm going to say go for it!!

It's really crap, women shouldn't have to dress any way up to protect ourselves from lechy men - that way religious coverings for women lie!

But, we're talking safety, and when it comes to my DD, I'll be advising her how to not draw the attention of these creeps.

And calling the police every fucking time. They target younger girls, I remember very well.

Age and shape-concealing clothing are no barrier to male sexual aggression

I agree that clothes don't stop male sexual aggression. As a women in her 40s who usually wears pretty utilitarian clothes, I get hassled occasionally.

But there are loads of creeps who do specifically target young girls.

As a young girl with long blond hair I got hassled every fucking time I left the house, often several times a day. And I noticed it did make a difference how I was dressed.

If I went out dressed up "girly" (which I almost never did) it was even worse. If I made myself look like a boy, it was much better.

If I was obviously a girl but my boobs and long blond hair weren't obvious I got fewer comments. (Baggy hoody with hood up).

In my experience it did make a difference to the frequency of hassle.

Plus my mate with dreads noticed an overnight difference when she combed them out.

This isn't to say that it's ever women's fault for how we dress of course. But it's what I learnt to help keep myself safe growing up in a fairly rough area of an inner city.

I agree about the loose clothing. I still remember walking to school one day in my casual baggy clothes and a builder shouting down "I bet she's wearing a wonderbra!" I only remember it because I was so bewildered he'd see a teenager covered up in a massive rugby top and flared jeans and think he could identify the make of her bra...

Thirteen year old girls do not look sixteen. That is just what men say when they are caught preying on children.
The street harassment by men started when I was 10. That was when I was deemed old enough to go places alone.
The age does not matter to most of these men. They see a female alone and target her for their pleasure. They want to see the fear in our eyes.

This isn't to say that it's ever women's fault for how we dress of course. But it's what I learnt to help keep myself safe growing up in a fairly rough area of an inner city.

What you are describing there is the sartorial equivalent of outrunning your fellow hikers when a bear attacks: those men will pick on someone, it just won't be you this time. In muslim countries where most women wear hijab, women are still harassed and in some countries (Egypt, I'm looking at you) it's worse than here despite the more modest clothing. The problem is male sexual entitlement and male complacency when it comes to challenging sexually entitled behaviour in their peers.

This isn't a condemnation of you or any woman on this thread: I'm not blaming any mother for wanting to make life easier for herself and her daughters and it would be hypocritical of me to do so bearing in mind that I won't wear a short skirt without leggings because I'm scared of upskirting chopeing. I am saying that "cover up so the pervs pick someone else" isn't a structural solution to the problem of male sexual entitlement.