Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

As I was saying about the police.....

353 replies

Winniesalot · 07/08/2018 10:14

Wtf is "misgendering"?! Genuinely have no clue what this might be and whatever it is was totally and utterly non-intentional.

To those who doubted - this is 100% genuine.

To those who thought I was being rude that night - I'd like to make the point that nothing I said was directed at the person. I was making genetic statements for the purpose of conversation, not carrying out a personal attack on one person.

If this stays up then I will post a screenshot of the text I received from the PO.

OP posts:
Bespin · 07/08/2018 12:13

here's the thing my friend was repeatedly harrassed by a family over the road from her every single day when they were outside they throw things at her windows. This is harassment and she called the police they stopped it and no one was charged as she didn't want to press charges and wanted it just to stop especially for her son who was also getting abuse. now I'm sure the family have not changed there view but they have stopped expressing it in this way to her and her family. this is what this law is ment to prevent no one should live in fear in there own home.

Karigan198 · 07/08/2018 12:16

Do not have a chat with the police without legal assistance when someone has complained about you

Datun · 07/08/2018 12:16

Out of interest, if a transwoman insisted that wearing nail varnish and carrying a handbag makes them a woman, over and over, belligerently and aggressively, can I claim harassment?

What if it's an exchange? Do you have to count up the number of times the transwoman says it, versus the number of times the woman says it, to decide who's doing the harassing?

RatRolyPoly · 07/08/2018 12:18

Good Lord, where has that come from?

The original thread.

You do realise that just because someone uses 'you' in a sentence, it doesn't mean that person is actually referring to the other person, right?

Er, yeah, I realise that. But it's pretty obvious this trans woman thought the OP was directly referring to her, don't you think?

BettyDuMonde · 07/08/2018 12:20

I’m glad allegations of hate crime are being taken seriously.

It bodes well for the future, when ‘misogyny’ is included.

It doesn’t appear that this is actually a hate crime, mind you, so please, do proceed with caution and look up Posie’s experience, contact a solicitor and don’t do anything at all without a witness.

If, after all that an ‘informal chat’ takes place, make sure you have a witness and preferably a voice recording (the police will need to be aware you are making one). You can make one on most smart phones.

RatRolyPoly · 07/08/2018 12:21

can I claim harassment?

What exactly have they said about you personally in all that Datun?

God, just accept that trans women are human; that this one felt harassed by the OP; that actually on the facts given you can kind of see why that might be; and don't make a massive, "oh god, trans people, world gorn maaaad!" situation out of it.

Seriously, it's fucking obvious what went down here. I'm not saying it IS harassment, I'm not saying it IS legally actionable, but I can see why this person would feel they've been the victim of a crime (particularly as the whole community is apparently saying these things to them) and reported it accordingly.

TransplantsArePlants · 07/08/2018 12:22

I'm actually glad you came back OP

It's been informative

ADarkandStormyKnight · 07/08/2018 12:22

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

PowerPlayed · 07/08/2018 12:22

Lawyer here, be very careful about what you say.

You are under no obligation to speak to them informally. If they want to speak to you formally you're entitled to legal representation and it will be recorded.

The police may come, be chatty, friendly, seemingly in agreement with you. It doesn't mean they won't pursue you if they get so much of a whif of a crime.

As for harassment it requires a course of conduct. This can amount to nothing more than two separate incidents.

Please proceed with caution.

RatRolyPoly · 07/08/2018 12:23

Thanks ADark.

TransplantsArePlants · 07/08/2018 12:23

DarkAndStormy

As I said. Informative.

seafret · 07/08/2018 12:25

It is true to say that if this were a MH delusion or irrational belief, then the argumentative/ confrontational method would rarely be the best way to deal with it, however frustrating or frightening it may be to the one having to listen to it.

Doing this can entrench a belief and create hostility "Directly challenging the beliefs - You may want to say ‘that’s not true!’ or ‘that’s ridiculous’. But this is likely to cause an argument. Research shows that if you confront your relative about their beliefs, they may end up believing them more." {{https://www.rethink.org/carers-family-friends/what-you-need-to-know/responding-to-unusual-behaviour/unusual-beliefs}}

They do not advocate agreeing or appeasing though, and you can gently explore evidence and test the belief to see if the person can work though it to releive some of the intensity (depends if it is a long term belief though)

So depending on what one thinks is going on with the person you are speaking to, as I said it can be complicated.

Datun · 07/08/2018 12:25

rat

Just stop it. You're saying it's probs not harassment, it's probably not actionable and then denigrating people for saying exactly, that's why the police shouldn't have been called.

This is an increasingly prevalent MO. It is. Posie was the first. Another woman on here has had a police interview. Linda Bellos, Miranda Yardley. This OP.

FruitOnAPlatter · 07/08/2018 12:26

There are consequences to this type of behaviour. Sometimes it's a call to the police, sometimes it suicide.

Sometimes it's safeguarding being removed from mixed sex groups of children camping overnight, or parents going to court to stop other parents/social workers trying to confuse, medicalise and sterilise children.

If someone is suicidal, they need to be getting help, not pressuring people to include them in groups who may not agree they belong and calling the police when people won't do what they say.

NotMeOhNo · 07/08/2018 12:27

I think it's worth remembering that the idea that womanhood was defined as a feeling any person was entitled to own (twaw) only ever emerged after the sexual fetishists "widened" transgenderism. Ergo, someone male nowadays who claims to be a genuine woman is a misogynist transgressor, unworthy of a woman's respect. I feel the same about any man calling himself a lesbian. The people with gender dysphoria have their suffering appropriated and used as a human shield to invade women's boundaries by these transgressors.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 07/08/2018 12:28

*I’m glad allegations of hate crime are being taken seriously.

It bodes well for the future, when ‘misogyny’ is included*

But it won't be. Hate crimes against women are

  • something we imagine
  • something we misunderstand
  • really about men loving us
  • about men's freedom of speech.
Datun · 07/08/2018 12:28

Whatever happened to good manners, let alone a little empathy.

There are consequences to this type of behaviour. Sometimes it's a call to the police, sometimes it suicide.

Good lord. Bad manners results in suicide or a criminal record now. This is on a par with sturdy pyjamas and bar ducking.

RatRolyPoly · 07/08/2018 12:29

Just stop it. You're saying it's probs not harassment, it's probably not actionable and then denigrating people for saying exactly, that's why the police shouldn't have been called.

I think when someone feels they have been the victim of a crime they should call the police. I don't think you should mock them for it. I also don't think you can go around saying aggressive and hurtful things to minority individuals without being bitten on the arse by it.

As DarkandStormy says, "There are consequences to this type of behaviour. Sometimes it's a call to the police, sometimes it suicide."

LunaTrap · 07/08/2018 12:30

In any other sphere threatening suicide if someone won't comply with your demands is rightly viewed as emotional abuse.

TransplantsArePlants · 07/08/2018 12:30

It's like someone's cut off my eyelids and a can't stop seeing you.

Deathgrip · 07/08/2018 12:30

I would very seriously watch this video (and advise everyone else to as well)
m.youtube.com/watch?v=d-7o9xYp7eE

ADarkandStormyKnight · 07/08/2018 12:31

If someone is suicidal, they need to be getting help, not pressuring people to include them in groups who may not agree they belong and calling the police when people won't do what they say

This happened in a private house! I'll make the reasonable assumption that the transwoman was invited to the house or welcomed in by the mutual friend, in a private capacity. I'm sure if they were pressurising the OP in some way the OP would not have missed the opportunity to mention it.

RatRolyPoly · 07/08/2018 12:31

Bad manners results in suicide or a criminal record now.

Christ Datun, switch your brain on.

You only get a criminal record if you've committed a crime.

And if you've committed a crime you deserve it.

Deathgrip · 07/08/2018 12:31

It’s American, but the point still stands

YetAnotherSpartacus · 07/08/2018 12:32

Whatever happened to good manners, let alone a little empathy

Mmmmmm. Something transwomen who identify as lesbians could learn from. Or any transwomen really who tells women that TWAW or that 'cis privilege' makes them privileged when the woman concerned has spent a lifetime being harassed, discriminated against, objectified for and oppressed because she was born with a cunt and XX chromosomes.

Swipe left for the next trending thread