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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

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Original poster

As I was saying about the police.....

353 replies

Winniesalot · 07/08/2018 10:14

Wtf is "misgendering"?! Genuinely have no clue what this might be and whatever it is was totally and utterly non-intentional.

To those who doubted - this is 100% genuine.

To those who thought I was being rude that night - I'd like to make the point that nothing I said was directed at the person. I was making genetic statements for the purpose of conversation, not carrying out a personal attack on one person.

If this stays up then I will post a screenshot of the text I received from the PO.

OP posts:
SalemBlackCat · 07/08/2018 10:58

I am so sorry OP that bullies are trying to silence you. It simply another form of control - shut down all discussion. Don't let them win.

longtimelurkingtrans · 07/08/2018 10:58

Just be careful what you say in the "chat with the Police". I got on the wrong side of a more militant type t/w for exactly the same thing, My view is at odds with a lot of the stuff I'm seeing online from others who identify as T/W or T/S.

ProperLavs · 07/08/2018 10:59

The feelings and opinions of trans people trump anything that you as a woman might feel OP.

BertrandRussell · 07/08/2018 10:59

“I wouldn't have a heated debate about whether trans women are women with a trans woman.”

Me neither. Because I have good manners.

OP- what was that about your remarks being the catalyst that caused lots of people down the pub to have a go at this person?

UpstartCrow · 07/08/2018 11:01

Why discuss that with or in front of someone who is trans? How did you think that made them feel? What was the point, did you think they were going to have some sort of epiphany?

I'm gender critical, but there's a time and a place. If a trans person started that type of conversation I'd be suspicious of their motives and not get drawn in. If this had happened at your workplace, you could get the sack.

BettyDuMonde · 07/08/2018 11:01

For the purposes of your police chat, it ‘s worth noting that under current law a transwoman legally becomes a woman on being granted a Gender Recognition Certificate (and not on painting their nails etc).

You might find that a useful distinction to be able to make to the police/friends of the person who reported you.

Check out Posie Parker on YouTube for her experiences

NoProbLlama78 · 07/08/2018 11:02

I'm trying to wrap my head around it but you are being misgendered if you are called cis arent you?
I've only been called it online and don't accept it because I dont conform to stereotype but if I'm correct is it possible to use this as a response to the accusation of your hate crime?

BettyDuMonde · 07/08/2018 11:03

longtimelurkingtrans

It can’t be easy to be at odds with the dominant voices in a relatively small worldwide community. Solidarity Flowers

HollyGibney · 07/08/2018 11:03

I saw your last thread and believe that it happened. I didn't comment as I had just woken up and the influx of "That Poor Woman, you big meanie OP! " posters at that time of the morning was too much for me cope with.

Absolutely bloody ridiculous. My children have additional needs and we have had a ton of what could be construed as disablist hate over the years; so much disbelief and refusal to acknowledge actual medical diagnoses and make legally required allowances. Never gone blubbing to the police though and wouldn't have expected anything if I had. The sheer wah wah wah entitlement of a certain set of trans people makes me feel furious. So what! Someone won't agree you're a woman? Tough! Why are you so much more important that we all have to defy actual reality to stroke and support your pretence. I'm sick of it, just sick of it. Nod and smile, nod and smile then walk off and dismiss that person, that's what me and my kids have to do every single day. People can think what they want and unless they start actually physically attacking or verbally abusing you then you are going to have to ride it out. You cannot make people go along with your delusion. If you can't deal with that then cut them out of your life. Sure they'll be glad to go, I know I would be.

LunaTrap · 07/08/2018 11:04

Don't the police have better things to do? Victims of violent crime can wait days for a response but they can spare an officer to visit OP for committing wrongthink?

seafret · 07/08/2018 11:05

I hope you will have a witness with you OP. I would consider paying a solicitor or someone objective/ "of standing" to be there. Or secretly video it.

I am not anti police but you must protect yourself.

longtimelurkingtrans · 07/08/2018 11:06

Thanks BettyDuMonde Smile

BarrackerBarmer · 07/08/2018 11:16

What are the consequences of declining the 'chat' with the police?

Have they explained?

YetAnotherSpartacus · 07/08/2018 11:16

Don't the police have better things to do? Victims of violent crime can wait days for a response but they can spare an officer to visit OP for committing wrongthink

Yes. I remember when I called up about a neighbour who was harassing me and who I was scared was going to assault me. I got told to wait until he'd actually 'taken a swing at me' so I had something to complain about.

seafret · 07/08/2018 11:19

I do also agree about there being a time and place and not being unecessarily 'rude' or cruel to someone's face. But sometimes we will actually need to have this converstion in real life with real trans people, however much that may hurt or offend. It can't be just an online or theoretical conversation when the impacts are in real life.

I have to have some very hard conversations with my DH re his MH depression issues but it in the end it is helpful for him to have someone keep the boundaries of sense and proportion when he can't. Not exactly the same, but I don't think that trans people should never expect to have to have these difficult conversations about the cross overs between their reality and other people's realities.

It is very difficult though and provoking or hurting someone carelessly or uneccessarily crosses the line in many cases, and yes what exactly would be gained in many cases. But then shutting up becasue of futility is taken as acquiescence or agreement or appeasment and that isn't always helpful in the long run either.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 07/08/2018 11:20

No one cares about women's feelings when they expand the definition of womanhood!

HollyGibney · 07/08/2018 11:27

It seems though that anything but starry eyed agreement is considered cruel and bullying. Where is the line? How do you ever have that conversation without causing offence? I will always use a persons preferred pronouns if they ask me to or if I perceive their preferences because that is the socially graceful thing to do. If a trans person asked me straight though, if I believe they're a woman or man, I could never say that I do and if it becomes heated I wouldn't be bullied into it but then I apparently in breach of the law.

Datun · 07/08/2018 11:28

It is very difficult though and provoking or hurting someone carelessly or uneccessarily crosses the line in many cases,

People provoke and hurt other people all the time. Is it ideal? No. Should you call the police about it? Of course not!

It's not a crime.

And if it becomes a crime, then it absolutely needs to be dealt with, publicised and talked about.

BarrackerBarmer · 07/08/2018 11:32

lewisnedas.co.uk/Newsroom/Blogs/beware-a-voluntary-police-interview-is-not-a-cosy-chat-with-the-authorities.html

Please, Winniesalot consider getting some legal advice before your 'chat'.

This may not be the cosy chinwag over a cuppa that the the police are portraying it as.

LunaTrap · 07/08/2018 11:36

Agreed Datun. Maybe women should start calling the police everytime someone says something rude to them. There wouldn't be enough people to man the phones, let alone investigate.

RatRolyPoly · 07/08/2018 11:38

"Just because someone carries a handbag and paints their nails it doesn't make them a woman."

That's not what you said you said on your original thread now is it.

ProperLavs · 07/08/2018 11:39

eytanother no men do not care about women's feelings or needs. That has always been the way of things. men calling themselves women just because they want to are still men and they do not care. They are still men even if they have all their bits cut off. They are just men without their bits demanding that women shut up and do what they are told just as men have always done.

I can imagine historians in the future debating how women have been silenced over time. " now we get to the 21st century and it is interesting that with the growing equality of women and the fact that it was now unacceptable for a man to tell a woman what to think and say men decided to become women and dominate that way- clever"

HollyGibney · 07/08/2018 11:41

Rat that's exactly what OP said on the original thread. I remember that wording clearly.

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