Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

As I was saying about the police.....

353 replies

Winniesalot · 07/08/2018 10:14

Wtf is "misgendering"?! Genuinely have no clue what this might be and whatever it is was totally and utterly non-intentional.

To those who doubted - this is 100% genuine.

To those who thought I was being rude that night - I'd like to make the point that nothing I said was directed at the person. I was making genetic statements for the purpose of conversation, not carrying out a personal attack on one person.

If this stays up then I will post a screenshot of the text I received from the PO.

OP posts:
Original poster
Winniesalot · 08/08/2018 09:47

I met a TG man in a pub a few weeks ago when I was there with friends. I accidentally knocked his drink over and the table was soaked so I bought him a new drink and invited him to sit with us.

He was 18, hasn't yet had hormones but fully identifies as a man. And the group of us had a lovely conversation about TG issues, how you know you are, at what age can you be considered for surgical treatment, when does he think his transition would be complete, should younger children be allowed to decide their gender ,etc. He invited questions and when we apologised for potentially causing offence with them, he said "No, no, no. I'm perfectly happy to answer questions. In fact, I like it because I can set the facts straight."

Now doesn't that approach promote understanding and probably tolerance as well?

OP posts:
Original poster
Winniesalot · 08/08/2018 09:50

Vicky - yes, it seems almost impossible these days to have a calm, rational discussion on this topic. And being reported for a hate crime after one such conversation does not help matters!

OP posts:
SisterNotCisTerf · 08/08/2018 10:18

OP for your own personal “safety” (from a legal perspective) I would just refuse to engage with the complainant on anything even close to trans issues. If they bring it up you can either leave the room/area/conversation or just look at them blankly until they finish speaking and remain silent. They can only have the conversation if you respond. Don’t give them anything to use against you.

Ereshkigal · 08/08/2018 10:20

I'd think about taking this thread down tbh.

JellySlice · 08/08/2018 10:21

Perhaps because your transman had been socialised as a woman, and was still quite young.

The vast majority of the shouting is from, and about, transwomen. It comes across as straightforward narcissism. And mods please note that I am not saying that all transwomen are narcissistic.

Ereshkigal · 08/08/2018 10:21

Glad common sense appears to have prevailed for now.

IncrediblySturdyPyjamas · 08/08/2018 10:36

I also think you should get this thread taken down. They will target you.

raisinsarenottheonlyfruit · 08/08/2018 10:52

Why should she take this thread down? There's no ongoing investigation. People need to know this stuff is happening.

Also, this is an anonymous forum. How will the OP be "targetted" exactly?

LizzieSiddal · 08/08/2018 11:50

“I can only say that the person involved seems incapable of actually HAVING a conversation about TG issues. Any discussion = hate crime apparently.”

Well they’re being told constantly that there is #NoDebate, so those who are a little hard of thinking and going to believe that. These people picking nodebate are actually cashing harm.

nauticant · 08/08/2018 12:07

I also think the OP should think about requesting that the thread be taken down. There's much to misinterpret (and post as out-of-context snippets on twitter). Also, if the transwoman concerned learned about this thread, it would inflame the situation horribly.

SalemBlackCat · 08/08/2018 12:11

Oh for fuqk sake! How about we take EVERY thread down, in case any random anonymous ID/story is recognised? If you don't understand the purpose of this entire site, then leave! You don't have to read or contribute to threads. (NB not aimed at OP, just at the hysterical people who think everyone can be ID'ed, and forget that maybe OPs have actually thought about that, and don't care). Can we please have just one thread on this site where people aren't worrying about being outed? It is ridiculous and enough already! This is an anonymous site! And people often do name changes so that is two degrees of protection, as it is. Jesus christ!

We need a head banging against brick wall or facepalm icon.

IncrediblySturdyPyjamas · 08/08/2018 12:24

NB not aimed at OP, just at the hysterical people who think everyone can be ID'ed, and forget that maybe OPs have actually thought about that, and don't care)

Feminism. Where women come to say they don't give a shit about the safety of other women.

Yay go you.

SalemBlackCat · 08/08/2018 12:26

What rubbish! This whole entire site is anonymous. Any thread on here, at any given time, could be recognised in real life (about 00.000579% chance, but, whatever). If you are so concerned about the safety of other women, what are you even doing on here commenting and adding to these discussions that could jeopardise the safety of other women? rme

SalemBlackCat · 08/08/2018 12:28

If a person posts a thread (or comment) on here, then you take it as read that they have considered what they are doing prior to pressing send.

That should be enough. We are grown women. Not children.

Janie143 · 08/08/2018 12:29

🤦

Rufustheyawningreindeer · 08/08/2018 12:30

If a person posts a thread (or comment) on here, then you take it as read that they have considered what they are doing prior to pressing send

The forum is full of

If i were you OP i would.....

Its only a continuation of that....some people think the op should delete the thread, thats it

SalemBlackCat · 08/08/2018 12:34

@Janie143 How do you do the facepalm icon? It isn't in the smileys list and cursoring over it won't show anything up.

WaddIelikeapenguin · 08/08/2018 12:39

OP glad to see this resolved Flowers

CantankerousCamel · 08/08/2018 12:44

My comments on the previous thread about my neighbour were related to her narcissim.

I have no doubt (especially after the response from the copper) that the caller new full well that this would never result in any sort of legal actions. They are using the police to harrass you. My neighbour has been doing it for years and it’s an endless nightmare.

Just be aware this may well not be the last time the police come round and innocuous things you say may be spun out of all comprehension and used as an example of ‘hate crime’

BarrackerBarmer · 08/08/2018 17:07

Actually OP, I would consider whether your entire posting history makes you identifiable and whether you are ok if it does.

If you are, great.

But if you value your privacy and feel you might be compromised by any of your posts, MNHQ would delete other posts for you that might contain too much information.

Advanced Search should help you assess.

Ereshkigal · 08/08/2018 17:37

Good suggestion Barracker. I don't want OP to take it down. I was purely thinking of her privacy.

Ereshkigal · 08/08/2018 17:41

The original thread was screenshotted all over Twitter. If the complainant was active on Twitter it's hardly outside the realms of possibility that they might become aware and search for further discussion. If you were the person being talked about you may very well work it out. As pp said if this is a narcissist they won't want to let this go. That's all.

Original poster
Winniesalot · 08/08/2018 18:40

Thanks for the heads up guys. I'm pretty certain that I'm not identifiable. For one thing, I live in a fairly large northern town and I won't be the only person affected by this issue.

OP posts:
Janie143 · 08/08/2018 20:17

SalemBlackCat I used the facepalm emoji on my phone xx

thebewilderness · 09/08/2018 01:31

Sometime you can copy and save them somewhere to for when you want to paste them. 🤦

Swipe left for the next trending thread