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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Can Men Be Feminists?

263 replies

Yambabe · 02/08/2018 23:50

Musing. While I've always been on the side of equality and rights for women I don't think, in the past, I would have called myself a feminist.

I'm now starting to do a little more background reading about history and feminist theories, but only really started and don't have the knowledge that I know some of you all do.

The more I read the more interesting it get though, and the more I realise that there is no one-size-fits-all definition of feminism. The basic premise seems to be that society treats men as superior to women, women are oppressed by patriarchy and that feminism exists in all its various forms to try and lift that oppression and attain true equality for women.

So with that in mind, is feminism something that only women can truly understand or is it something that can be open to anyone who understands the premise? There are undoubtedly some men who empathise with the theories and aims of feminism but are they feminists or just supporters?

Not sure where I'm going with this, just curious to see how others view it I think. Also happy to take on board any reading recommendations (although I have already found the other sections of FWR to be a great resource).

OP posts:
Clairetree1 · 03/08/2018 14:22

Claire when someone comes here and doesn't answer questions (it wasn't just Bertrand who asked you for examples) they get mocked. It's happened to all of us. You know this, because you have posted here under a different screenname.

I have answered questions, and I don't have a different screen name

TheCountryGirl · 03/08/2018 14:22

I don't volunteer now at all. I have four children under eight and am a carer for two elderly relatives. I work 40 hours a week. My DH works 70+.

I think it's brilliant that you volunteer - it's fantastic. 😀 More people should. I certainly will when I have the time to do so.

But when you say NAMALT, you ARE dismissing women. Enough men are like that. Too many men are like that.

TallulahWaitingInTheRain · 03/08/2018 14:22

Claire your arguments are becoming increasingly bizarre. Perhaps you should get out of the sun for a bit lovely.

Bingpot · 03/08/2018 14:23

Claire are you desperate to make a personal attack you deliberately misread? She said she's been working with disadvantaged women FOR TWENTY YEARS, and your response is that isn't good enough because she hasn't been doing it in her spare time too? What's wrong with you?

Agastache · 03/08/2018 14:23

I don't see how any of that has got to do with men being feminists. The nice man in the pub...unless you can say what he said and how he said it - hard to judge whether the feminists who drove him out were right or not.

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore · 03/08/2018 14:24

Yes they can. It's a belief system which someone can subscribe to if they are male or female. However I'm not sure how many men genuinely are feminists.

Clairetree1 · 03/08/2018 14:25

That being said, I find it astounding that no one defended the lad who had been in care,

the defence from one or two individuals wouldn't have had any effect, it was the whole pack mantra " you don't belong in this group - you are a straight white male" chanted more or less in unison, more or less every time he tried to join in, that's what drove him out.

Similar things have happened to other foster sons, and also to boys I teach

TheCountryGirl · 03/08/2018 14:26

the defence from one or two individuals wouldn't have had any effect, it was the whole pack mantra " you don't belong in this group - you are a straight white male" chanted more or less in unison, more or less every time he tried to join in, that's what drove him out.

Anyone else having a hard time picturing this?🤨

Clairetree1 · 03/08/2018 14:26

Claire are you desperate to make a personal attack you deliberately misread? She said she's been working with disadvantaged women FOR TWENTY YEARS, and your response is that isn't good enough because she hasn't been doing it in her spare time too? What's wrong with you?

no, I asked he how much of her spare time she voluntarily gives up, the answer is none

Clairetree1 · 03/08/2018 14:27

Anyone else having a hard time picturing this?

why does it matter if you have a hard time picturing this?

TheCountryGirl · 03/08/2018 14:27

Bing I think she wasn't expecting me to have been in the sector for twenty years and was caught on the back foot.😉

BertrandRussell · 03/08/2018 14:28

Hang on- they chanted “you don’t belong in this group-you’re a straight white man” in unison and whoever was runnng the group did nothing to intervene? What happened when you complained to the service provider?

BertrandRussell · 03/08/2018 14:32

Having cancer does not make someone underprivileged- but he would certainly now get special consideration, on health grounds, not on grounds of disadvantage.- for university entrance.

As for the guy in the pub- when you challenge the group, what do they say about excluding him?

BettyDuMonde · 03/08/2018 14:33

That service provider failed in their duty to provide for a looked after child and should be thoroughly investigated for that failing.

BertrandRussell · 03/08/2018 14:36

Was everyone else in the group a girl?

53rdWay · 03/08/2018 14:40

Sorry, just to clarify: in a school setting, with teachers present, during a group aimed at getting disadvantaged kids into education, a boy who’d been/was currently in care was bullied out by the other kids chanting in unison “you don’t belong in this group, you’re a straight white male”? And the teachers present did nothing?

Anlaf · 03/08/2018 14:42

placemarking

although I believe the answer to be broadly "no"

enjoyed the manly pronouncements textbook examples of the genre upthread.

MrsTerryPratchett · 03/08/2018 14:54

he’s definitely not your typical right-on virtue signaller

I have a friend who's a football, beer, buzz cut hair, stupid joke idiot. He was round a few weekends ago, I was talking about a feminist issue to DH, bloke said something, can't remember what but it was a bit, 'whatever'. I pointed out to him that on the night we met, I was being persistently sexually harassed in the pub. He came over, said, "if they're being arseholes, we have a table, come sit down". He is one of two men who has come to my aid in 30 years of being sexually harassed by men publicly. That's an ally. He would NEVER call himself a feminist. And he isn't. But he walks the walk, even when it could get him punched.

LangCleg · 03/08/2018 15:25

the whole pack mantra " you don't belong in this group - you are a straight white male" chanted more or less in unison, more or less every time he tried to join in, that's what drove him out

This happens in every pub I go to. It's shocking, I tell you, shocking. A bloke can't even get a pint and dominate the conversation any more. Why do they even let women in pubs unchaperoned anyway? Clearly they're unable to respect the privilege.

LangCleg · 03/08/2018 15:26

Not just school settings. Pubs too. This exclusionary feminism has just gone too far. The only solution is to get men to run it.

AndreaPorkin81 · 03/08/2018 15:31

A lot of women watch porn. Does that mean they can't be feminists?

TeiTetua · 03/08/2018 15:33

It's a paradox that the men who are the best friends to women aren't going to call themselves "feminists". Maybe they'd recognise it as a label that they'd get criticised for failing to live up to, the first time they fall short of perfection!

BertrandRussell · 03/08/2018 15:35

"A lot of women watch porn. Does that mean they can't be feminists?"

No-although it might mean that. It might also mean that they are feminists who have not thought this issue through. Or it might mean that they are feminists who have decided on this occasion to make a non feminist choice.

sawdustformypony · 03/08/2018 15:37

kinda meaningless then

BertrandRussell · 03/08/2018 15:38

What's meaningless?