Claire- can you give some examples?
I agree that the responses were a bit mocking-but I did ask you for more information and you didn't give it
sorry, I missed your question.
For example, on the floor I teach on, there is one straight white man only, and he is such a nice guy, but the whole floor goes to the pub regularly on a Friday evening, and I've seen him regularly shut down and excluded from conversations, up to the point that he started leaving early, sometimes within a few minutes of such a conversation starting, and now doesn't come in at all.
Just off the top of my head, conversations he has been told he is not allowed to participate in have included ideas to promote STEM subjects to younger girls, and the PSHE curriculum during Pride month.
Another example would be a foster son, a straight white guy, very intelligent, massive gaps in his education, being initially included in a scheme to get disadvantaged young people into university. Being told by other students that he doesn't belong in the group, on the basis of being a "privileged" straight white guy - ok, they don't know he spent much of his early teenage years locked in a cupboard, but the staff never defended him and they at least would have been aware he was a looked after child - This is currently a great sadness to me, as he could have been excitedly awaiting A level results right now, with the right encouragement, but instead opted out of education completely before GCSEs
My brother, similar, being judged as "privileged" whilst battling cancer, could not get a lower university offer as he did not fit any of the "underprivileged" criteria at the time ( this was going back a few decades! but even so, it sticks) anyway, in his case he got into a "lesser" university and is now the best in the world in his field, so he got there in the end, through a harder route.
generally at school, I see some male students with an awful attitude to women, and some girls too ( one of my tutorgroup in all seriousness told me a few months ago that you knew almost everything you needed to know about someone as soon as you knew they were female!!)
obviously that need challenging and challenging every single time.
But I get sad to see young girls throwing accusations around when they are not justified, when a boy has done better than them by doing better than them, for example, and seeing decent caring young teenage boys hurt by being included in anti male rhetoric from staff, or students.
it is very polarising, and unfair, and more likely to do harm than good.
So yes, I do believe that many men are good feminists, it doesn't matter if they want to use that term or not, they are still good feminists, and belittling them, excluding them and accusing them of the crime of being male is sexist.