What can teachers and other professionals do to create a more gender free environment in our schools?

[SarahCarer]

As my dd is autistic and, as a result, Gender non Conforming (GNC) I thought I would share some thoughts about how to de-gender our schools.

Firstly, teachers need to find a way to address groups of children without saying "girls" or "boys" . This is commonplace in some schools and puts an unnatural focus onto a person's sex which is of no relevance at all in the context.

Secondly every school should have at least one unisex toilet which any pupil can use without special permission.

Thirdly school staff should avoid using the terms "good girl" or "good boy" Again the sex is of no relevance and the statement risks implying that they are being good because they are behaving in a way consistent with femininity or masculinity.

Fourthly ALL sexism and homophobia should be robustly challenged

Fifthly sex ed should not have gendered content

Sixthly there should be no organising of classes with reference to sex except in PE or for sex ed.

Any thoughts on these suggestions or suggestions for others?

These are some of the ways we can protect our autistic children from gender dysphoria (GD)

Ridiculous.

They are girls and boys. Being GNC doesn't change that.

It's a nod towards "what's your pronoun" to me, which is also fucking ridiculous.

Wow. Loads of really interesting suggestions here, some fantastic examples of good practice and some really thought provoking comments. I'll explain about autism and gender for those who haven't read my words about this before.

There is a very high coincidence of autism and gender dysphoria (GD). Autistic girls are under diagnosed. There have been very high numbers of teenage girls being diagnosed with GD (a 2000% increase). Many feminism chat regulars (including me) believe that it is not right to start children on a pathway to hormonal and surgical treatment because they cannot really change sex and the cause of their suffering is gendered expectations and stereotyping combined with the trans narrative about boy brains in girls bodies and vice versa. By de-gendering their worlds we can help and protect these young people. De-gendering our language and reflecting on our choices costs nothing and takes no time. Teachers I'm not asking you to add anything to your workload - It's not one of your banned 'admin' tasks for heaven sakes! You're in loco parenthesis and could make a big difference. And to those who are saying "nope sexism never happens in my school" well that's great. It certainly happens in a lot of schools.

I accept that schools don't exist in vacuums and as a result sometimes things need to be different for the different sexes. I think of sex ed as an example of that where depending on their maturity levels they may need their dignity protecting by having these lessons separately. There are plenty of other examples too but only where necessary for dignity or equality is what I'm suggesting.

An example of gendered content in a sex ed lesson is a folksy rite of passage type approach to teaching about menstruation instead of keeping factual. I would have been delighted with the folksy approach.

I believe de-gendering helps most children. I'm not ashamed of my biology and no one should be but I won't collude in the idea that I was, for example, born to be gentle and empathetic on account of being a woman.

@ADastardlyThing Being gender non conforming in no way changes a person's sex and there is no implication that it would. Not all GNC people use they/them and my dd doesn't even know she is GNC. It isn't a choice she has put on like an identity. She dresses like a boy, has hair like a boy and never describes herself as a girl or female unless describing her biology.

I don’t really understand what you mean by “de-gendering”, OP.

Wouldn’t it be better if you just addressed any issues at school that you feel reinforce gender stereotypes, rather than talking about “de-gendering”, as I doubt anyone in school will understand what you mean by this.

She dresses like a boy, has hair like a boy

Sorry meant to say "I would have been delighted with the folksy approach but many kids feel alienated by it because it doesn't reflect their feelings about it"

Why the raised eyebrow Suburban?

This means she doesn't conform to the gendered expectations that relate to her sex. I am describing something and something which is very common among autistic girls.

Dresses like a boy and has hair like a boy?

You seem very confused in your views.

The raised eyebrow was because you are using gender stereotypes yourself by describing her hair by saying she dresses like a boy and has hair like a boy. Surely if she is a girl, that means she dresses like a girl and has hair like a girl.

I'm listening...

Yes indeed that's right. It was shorthand. Obviously I don't think certain types of clothes and hairstyles belong to boys or girls. But when someone selects from the option marked "for boys" when their sex is female they are not conforming to gendered expectations i.e. they are gender non conforming. I don't feel confused. Does this clarify?

I think I'm going beyond asking people not to use stereotypes though suburban. I'm suggesting that we don't constantly categorise children according to their sex for no reason. It is bewildering to autistic children and unhelpful I think for all children.

I don't expect everyone to agree with me obviously. But some people have shared some really encouraging stuff and useful ideas on here so I'm glad I brought it up. To those teachers who are working to de-gender their classrooms thank you!

Do you think it is problematic to refer to a group of girls as girls?

I’m afraid your explanation about why you used gender stereotypes is no clearer after that explanation, I’m afraid.

But moving on, can you give examples of what you mean by “constantly categorising children by sex” in schools?

Examples have already been given upthread suburban. I would add seating children boy girl boy girl, defaulting to running competitions as boys against girls. I could give quite a lot of examples from my own kids schools but I don't want to put myself. What is it you object to about this?

Noble - I think it would be preferable not to where biological sex is irrelevant e.g. when addressing a group of children. One teacher has presented some good alternatives upthread.

Suburban in what way was my explanation unclear? Did you feel you had a gotcha and didn't like the thought I might have wiggled out of It? Is this all political correctness gone mad for you? Fine. I won't persuade everyone

Has it occurred to you that maybe your own personal experience of your child’s school may not be representative of the other thousands of schools in the country?

And you still haven’t explained what you mean by “de-gendering”.

Suburban in what way was my explanation unclear? Did you feel you had a gotcha and didn't like the thought I might have wiggled out of It? Is this all political correctness gone mad for you? Fine. I won't persuade everyone.

None of the above.

I think it would be preferable not to where biological sex is irrelevant

But why? Why, if a group of boys are hanging around should I avoid staying ‘come on boys, get to class’? I understand that you think it’s irrelevant, but I’m not sure why you think it is a problem.

Is there a difference depending on whether you're teaching pre or post pubescent young people? Teenagers are so far down the road of gender stereotyping I think I'm better challenging it explicitly rather than trying to speak as if it doesn't exist and tie myself in knots to never say "you're done really well girls"etc. And not using sex - there is a definite advantage in mixing things up in terms of things like group work and seating plans - a group of four boys, or four girls, or two girls and two boys simply do work together differently and one of the reasons why is their sex. I'd be mad to ignore it entirely in the classroom.

Because of the constant reminder that they are being categorised. Small children in particular are prompted to identify with others of their sex by the awareness that others are categorizing them in that way and that is a key part of how gender stereotyping develops.

Mistressiggi yes quite possibly

"Sadly the secondary school most of them transfer to has a skirts-only rule for girls. Some of our girls have never worn skirts to school and are not looking forward to it." You gave this example yourself @suburban so I'm not sure why you're accusing me of projecting sexism from my own kids schools onto others.

Because of the constant reminder that they are being categorised.

I teach teenagers. Today I had to pick up a boy on referring to a girl as a ‘bird’. I then told the girl that she shouldn’t let him speak about her like that. (‘I know, innit’ she said).

I agree you sound very primary-focused. Once puberty kicks in, a teacher calling a group of boys ‘boys’ isn’t going to be a major factor in reminding them of their sex.