What can teachers and other professionals do to create a more gender free environment in our schools?

[SarahCarer]

As my dd is autistic and, as a result, Gender non Conforming (GNC) I thought I would share some thoughts about how to de-gender our schools.

Firstly, teachers need to find a way to address groups of children without saying "girls" or "boys" . This is commonplace in some schools and puts an unnatural focus onto a person's sex which is of no relevance at all in the context.

Secondly every school should have at least one unisex toilet which any pupil can use without special permission.

Thirdly school staff should avoid using the terms "good girl" or "good boy" Again the sex is of no relevance and the statement risks implying that they are being good because they are behaving in a way consistent with femininity or masculinity.

Fourthly ALL sexism and homophobia should be robustly challenged

Fifthly sex ed should not have gendered content

Sixthly there should be no organising of classes with reference to sex except in PE or for sex ed.

Any thoughts on these suggestions or suggestions for others?

These are some of the ways we can protect our autistic children from gender dysphoria (GD)

I see this thread is fallng into the trap of using the words sex and gender interchangeably.

If people want staff to challenge gender stereotypes in mixed-sex schools, at least let’s get the language right.

Fully agree sea
Gender neutral and unisex is always "default male"

It ignores the challenges girls face and why they face then .

We need to teach them that you are a girl but you can still do Xyz.

Not- you can only achieve Xyz if we pretend you arent a girl.

If your child is using the boys toilets how are periods being dealt with? There won’t be bins in the boys.

Girls do better in all girls schools .
Is that cos they pretend they aren't girls? Because the girls are there precisely because they are girls.

The differences are that they see girls as deserving of a decent range of sports and a proper pe teacher . If a teacher needs sone muscle there's no boys to ask. They aren't worrying about changing tampons with a boy in the next cubicle.

You can't he treated as a second rate citizen if the first rate ones aren't there. The behavioural expectations are the same for everyone. The academic and STEM take up expectations are higher .

None of that was achieved by pretending that girls don't exist. And when you refuse to look at sex when checking your results etc then how can you ensure that you recognise if boys or girls are failing in some way. Or if the girls aren't feeling safe.

Oh fgs. I cackled my head off at your suggestions OP.

OP you haven’t responded to my earlier comment that if we ignore sex in school, then we cannot tackle educational issues that affect each sex, like poor literacy rates for boys, or lack of STEM take-up for girls.

You cannot tackle these simply by having teachers treating pupils the same, because society doesn’t treat them the same. And the pupils themselves definitely don’t treat each other the same.

Yy noblegiraffe it's like the classic 'I don't see colour'. We need to see sex and colour in order to respond to the struggles particular groups face.

Eg. A blanket ban on going to the toilet during lessons is 'equal' but also discriminatory towards girls who may need to change sanitary pads.
A blanket ban on wigs is 'equal' but is discriminatory against black girls particularly those who cannot afford regular hairstyling. (This is a battle I and other staff are fighting at my school right now)

OR you know, we could tackle removing the gender sterotypes rather than removing genders?

If I get the language wrong here, I apologise

I personally think we are heading down a path where telling someone you are a boy/girl, man/ woman will be a matter of shame - which is extremely sad and beyond ridiculous.

Stereotypes need to be squished but that doesnt mean removing all elements of gender!!

Growing up, I was allowed to wear what I wanted (within reason!) - so when I was little, my favourite colours were blue and green. My favourite t shirt had a tractor on it. I lived in dungerees and hated dresses. Was this an issue? No! Was I ever told I looked like a boy? No! I played with car garages and also had barbies. I had baby dolls but also played with a tool bench and stomped in the mud puddles and made mud pies. I also had some pink clothes. I was never told "girls cant play cars....you should wear dresses.....those trainers are for boys.....(blue power rangers!") And I think if more people did this the problems would start to dissappear.

I was never told that any job was just for men or for woman, at home or at school.

When it comes to uniform, I dont see a problem with one big list. What I worry however is that any girl who chooses to wear a skirt will be shamed for "offending" and suddenly anyone who is "stereotypical" of their gender will be victimised, despite making their own choices. When will everyone be happy???? When all boys and men wear skirts and all girls and women are in trousers?

Sex ed from my experience was always done as a whole class anyway and tbh hust factual. Lots of cringey videos with naked people. But I also am really pleased that a teacher held little sessions in primary school for girls to do with menstrual related issues. There was a similar one for boys. I had no mum and really needed these sessions and a chance to ask daft questions with people who are going to go through the same thing. Im sorry this is not PC but there are biological differences and these have to be catered for. There are not truly that many children with GD that every child across the nation needs to be deprived from some beneficial segrigation. Even if a young boy is suffering from GD and believes they are a girl, they wont be going through the menstrual cycle or the same issues at puberty.

Uni sex toilets would have really troubled me. Give the option of both if you really have to but gees I think both sexes /genders need their own space.

At my nursery, we start them young. We dont care if the boys dress up as princesses and teach them not to care. We learn about occupations and teach that everyone can. But who cares if they dress to a certain stereotype?

I often wonder how many of us are just creating issues that wouldnt be there otherwise. I think bringing up gender neutral and then "choosing your gender" based on whatever you like or feel like actually just completely reinforces stereotypes. And we are in for an even more stretched mental health service as all these children grow up and dont know what or who the hell they are.

"Yy @noblegiraffe it's like the classic 'I don't see colour'. We need to see sex and colour in order to respond to the struggles particular groups face."

Ok let's take race as an example then. I agree that it is a really good thing to address the existing inequalities between the sexes and between ethnic origins. There are lots of ways this can happen in school. I would not, however, be in favour of teachers saying "right black children let's have your attention now" or "come in class I would like one white child and one black child on each table"

Do you see the difference? It is arbitrary categorisation and segregation with no value and has the danger of causing black children and white children to treat each other as 'other'

Are you satisfied I have responded to you comment now @noblegiraffe?
Also people are misunderstanding what gender non conformity is, particularly in autistic people. It is not an introspective identity and it is certainly nothing I ever suggested to my dd that she should do! It is largely unconscious on her part and she has made the same choices her whole life. She doesn't ask people to use different pronouns and she completely accepts she is female but in her mind (rightly) all female means is her biological sex and nothing else. She is not remotely ashamed of having a female body.

So she doesn't follow stereotypes then, lots of people don't, it's not gender non conformity, it's being an actual free thinking human.

right black children let's have your attention now

And you have heard teachers address only one gender have you?

You also do not speak for the whole of the autistic community, this has little to do with autism.

If we take away the sterotypes, which is what most people want, there is no need to stupidly remove gender and pretend it doesn't exist.

"And you have heard teachers address only one gender have you?" Erm if you mean sex then yes - quite a few teachers on this thread have said that they do so regularly and yes I have seen that but I don't think you're understanding me. I'm not complaining that teachers are addressing only one sex. Try it this way. "Now then black children and white children open your book at page 13". Can you see the issue? What relevance is their race to this context? And what relevance is their sex? The constant categorisation reinforces the fact that society sees children as male or female first before any other part of their experience, personality or physical make-up. I know my suggestion is a radical one and I am not about to start policing people's language. It is entirely your choice and your prerogative whether to attempt to de-gender your language. I am only suggesting it would be a helpful thing for all children. I absolutely agree with others however that there is action needed in addition and these suggestions are not as critical as challenging active stereotyping. That should go without saying.

It is arbitrary categorisation and segregation with no value

Why do you think a teacher might sit a class boy girl boy girl?

If your DD accepts female pronouns, recognises that her sex is female, then why on earth would she object to being referred to as a girl?

Walk before you can run springs to mind.

Oh and for a radical feminist gender IS gender stereotypes so a child who doesn't conform to gender stereotypes doesn't conform to gender. In my child's case she exclusively chooses clothes and styles labelled for boys but doesn't in other ways conform to masculinity

Can you see the issue? What relevance is their race to this context? And what relevance is their sex?
It's not an issue, race is different as it has different connotations and contex when singling people out by it. However making sure other races are included and represented is done, there's no pretending they don't exist.

so a child who doesn't conform to gender stereotypes doesn't conform to gender.
Do you understand the word "stereotype”

Masculinity has nothing to do with gender

Work at removing the stereotypes associated with gender and you will get a better result.
Your daughter is not confirming to stereotypes, that's good.
But it's not being non-gendered.

"Masculinity has nothing to do with gender" We are talking at cross purposes then. I am aware that some people use gender interchangeably with sex. Much more often on these boards it is used to refer to cultural norms and personality traits typically associated with one sex or the other. www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/gender

I know what you are referring to, but these are called 'stereotypes'.

Remove gender stereotypes and you won't have do the drastically silly removing of gender.