What can teachers and other professionals do to create a more gender free environment in our schools?

[SarahCarer]

As my dd is autistic and, as a result, Gender non Conforming (GNC) I thought I would share some thoughts about how to de-gender our schools.

Firstly, teachers need to find a way to address groups of children without saying "girls" or "boys" . This is commonplace in some schools and puts an unnatural focus onto a person's sex which is of no relevance at all in the context.

Secondly every school should have at least one unisex toilet which any pupil can use without special permission.

Thirdly school staff should avoid using the terms "good girl" or "good boy" Again the sex is of no relevance and the statement risks implying that they are being good because they are behaving in a way consistent with femininity or masculinity.

Fourthly ALL sexism and homophobia should be robustly challenged

Fifthly sex ed should not have gendered content

Sixthly there should be no organising of classes with reference to sex except in PE or for sex ed.

Any thoughts on these suggestions or suggestions for others?

These are some of the ways we can protect our autistic children from gender dysphoria (GD)

I’m a teacher and I always try to challenge gender stereotypes within school and with my own children, however, a lot of what children believe about gender comes from their home environment and this is much much harder to challenge and change.
As for your suggestions:
Sometimes it is necessary to use the words girls or boys.
Unisex toilet - fine - our staff toilets are unisex so why not the children’s.
Good girl good boy - meh.
Sexism and homophobia is robustly challenged in my experience.
Sex Ed isn’t ‘gendered’ it’s based on sex. Usually children are mixed except for upper school (Primary). Boys and girls are taught about both sexes.
Why would you organise a class based on sex? When does that happen?

Our head agreed to me putting laminated copies of these posters up in our school:

Unisex toilets = rampant issues of prostitution in schools. Believe me, I live in a country where they thought unisex everything was the way to go...

But, SuburbanRhonda, don’t those posters actually perpetuate stereotypes? They would definitely be seen to do so in our DCs’ school.

Not in my opinion, user, - they say girls and boys can have whatever personality they want.

They are perfect for showing primary school children that there’s no right or wrong way to be a boy or a girl.

We do all of those things in our school anyway.

The toilets in the secondary school in our catchment are unisex and have been for years. There have been no issues that I'm aware of.

How can you go round saying no gender differentiation at all, it's all bad...oh but except for this case. And this one.

I am led to understand that many people with autism find blurring of rules difficult. Isn't that ^^ exactly the type of blurriness to cause upset?

(And why do you get to decide? What if another parent says they want another rule to be strictly enforced along gender lines? What if one says NO rules to be segregated at all?)

I don’t think anyone in our school would even think in the stereotypical way that your posters are trying to counteract, SuburbanRhonda. The danger is that those posters suggest that stereotypes exist where they don’t.

suburban
I love those posters. Where did you get them from?
I’d like to put some up in my class. I’m always having the same conversation about girls and boys and what they can and can’t do, what they are like, not like, etc. It’s so bloomin’ exhausting, but it’s very difficult to get 8 year olds to question the sex stereotypes that are pushed on them from a very young age.
OP, I don’t want to be policed on the language I use. Girl means young female human and boy means young male human. They aren’t ‘gendered’ terms, but are correct terms to describe sex, just in the way that ‘man’ and ‘woman’ are. I can’t discuss sex stereotypes with the children without describing them in terms of their sex.

Unisex toilets in schools should not be allowed
One of the instances where treating people exactly the same is more discriminatory than acknowledging the differences in needs.

I don’t think anyone in our school would even think in the stereotypical way that your posters are trying to counteract, SuburbanRhonda. The danger is that those posters suggest that stereotypes exist where they don’t.

I genuinely wish gender stereotypes didn’t exist, user.

So many of the current problems we are seeing simply wouldn’t exist if that were true.

@Nuffaluff

Here is the link to Elise Gravel’s website:

elisegravel.com/en/

She is happy for schools and teachers to use her high-res images as long as they don’t use them commercially. I downloaded these posters and enlarged them on our photocopier at school

I agree, OP, that it is unnecessary to mention "girls" and "boys" all the time, and I think it subtly divides children along those lines. I would never divide by sex, actually, for things like plays and sports. I am not even sure about sex education. In Holland, my friend's kids had excellent, very comprehensive, sex and relationship education in mixed groups which included girls and boys.

I also think it would be helpful to abolish all uniforms and, actually, all mention of clothes in school.

Actually I agree with claraschu, no uniform would be great.

If schools couldn’t get on board with that then my previous suggestion of tracksuit/shorts or comfortable skirts/dresses in a uniform colour and trainers

Thanks surburban, I will download and show them to the head too.

Giles - “one of the instances where treating people exactly the same is more discriminatory than acknowledging the differences in needs”

There is SO much superficial “equality of treatment” about.

And most of it harmful tbh

Its not abiut pretending there aren't differences it's about knowing the differences and taking steps to ensure that you give equal chances to participate on things and that you don't take full advantage of the different socialization by either allowing kids to get away with stuff or assigning roles to kids.

Shouldnt we teach them how to be proud to be a boy or a girl and that they can do anything they want to.

Rather than hide the fact they are boys and girls like.its a shameful secret.

I agree, treating kids as exactly the same will do nothing to address persistent differences between sexes which need addressing.

Boys woefully underperform at school compared to girls in all subjects except maths. If you ignore sex, then any efforts to tackle this will be bland and ineffective. Girls take-up of STEM subjects at A-level lags behind boys. If you treat them all the same at school and ignore the societal influences outside of school, then that won’t change.

Just a quick reminder of the latest guidance for schools about sex segregation - it's to the point and helpful.
assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/719398/Gender-separation-guidance.pdf

And a reminder to those schools that have been told otherwise by groups with 'creative' interpretations of legislation:
Schools MUST provides sex segregated toilets for students over the age of 8 - it's illegal not to. No problem with some gender neutral toilets but the schools must have sex segregated toilet and washing facilities for pupils by law .

I will come back to this thread tonight and a massive thank you for all the great suggestions here. Can I just point out I asked for ONE unisex toilet that is available to all pupils. Kids don't hold back from challenging each other if they think they're in the wrong toilet and gender non conforming girls are often interpreted by other kids as being boys. No one wants to be repeatedly challenged by people of their own sex for being in their toilets. There are lots of other reasons why SOME children will want to use an individual private unisex toilet without needing special permission.

They we teach kids that short hair and trousers doesn't mean someone is a boy.

Surely you aren't suggesting that someone who isn't performing femininity enough can't use the girls toilet

There certainly should not he any kids on hormones in school.

And the only single enclosed toilet is likely to be the disabled toilet which should he used by people just because others decide they don't look boyish or girly enough to use the toilet..

Why should this fall down to teachers again?? Everything always comes back to how teaching and teachers should do this or that for some initiative or other. Don't get me wrong a disagree with gender stereotypes and feel everyone should be who they want to be without prejudice. However assuming it is teachers responsibility is unfair as they have plenty to do as it is. For the record. Teachers don't use good boy good girl ....they are not talking to dogs!

Well I like to think most if us do but these stereotypes surround us everywhere and anywhere.

It's really hard to teach your kids they can do anything they want to do and then send them somewhere that uses the stereotypes to their advantages.

There are things schools can and should be doing on the basis that it only happens in schools.

For instance opening up the dress codes to encourage practical clothing and footwear as opposed to decorative (school shoes for example And uniform)

And not indulging gender nonsense and endangering kids with unisex toilets.

The rest we should be doing but it's like stopping the tide :(

Kids don't hold back from challenging each other if they think they're in the wrong toilet and gender non conforming girls are often interpreted by other kids as being boys.

I'm confused. Isn't it possible for a girl to be non-conforming, but still look like a stereotypical girl?

.also not sure how kids they have been in a class with and a school with for up to 7 years will suddenly think X is a boy when her name is called twice daily in the register and there's a good chance you grew up three doors down from them