I feel like this is such a disconnect between the lgbt and feminist forms of conceptualising of sex and consent.
It's where lesbian feminists can feel a bit orphaned by lgbt discussions.
Sex isn't always about choice and fun and identity.
Sometimes sex is part of women's oppression. Some lesbians are in forced marriages with men. Some suffer corrective rape. Some live in countries where their identity as a lesbian can be a death sentence.
You can see today that the statement 'lesbian = female homosexual' resulted in bottles thrown at women, names called at women etc.
I know young women who have identified as transmen and then lesbians. The bullying and coercion they experienced to 'consider' transwomen when they were exhibiting a trans identity morphed into more bullying, and ostracising when they tried to get away from the coercion by saying 'actually I'm a lesbian'.
It's not as simple as 'just choose'. Women and lesbians in particular need all the support we can get with maintaining our boundaries as a class, I think. If you don't feel that as keenly as I do, then lucky you and I hope your life continues in such a charmed fashion.