Trans Children in their own words.

[CosmicCanary]

So there is a piece in the DM this morning about Mermaids and a recent trans prom they held.

The DM interviewed 9 children about their trans identity and what it means to them and how it started.

These are some of the childrens comments:

15 yo who was brought up by mum and nan since the age of 1.
Started blockers at 12 years old.
I liked to wear princess outfits from the age of 2
When I was 6 mum let me experiment wearing girls clothes
I'd get panicky if a teacher called me he
I wore glittery silver shoes

17 yo who lives with mum and dad who are Christians and 2 sisters.
Puberty felt wrong. I was very unhappy I tried to kill myself many times
I feel my breasts are a useless encumbrance
It was so liberating to go the the prom and wear what I wanted
A gay man had been thrown out of our church

16 yo lives with mum and dad. Parents were reluctant but blockers started at 14 years old.
When I was 4 I was in a fancy dress parade and forced to wear a bikini with a stuffed bra
When I was 6 at a party my friends were all putting on make up I hid so I did not have to join in
When I was 4 I wanted to be a boy
Aged 11 I saw a magician on tv and wanted to wear a suit like his I went on the internet and knew I was trans

15 yo lives with mum dad and sister. Mum is Christian.
To start with I thought I was gay so did my mum she found it difficult to reconcile her faith but then I learnt about transgender
We go shopping together now
I am getting blockers

16 yo lives with mum dad and siblings.
I hated dresses and always wore jeans
I was hysterical at the thought of starting puberty
I wore sports bras and bound my chest and cut my hair short
When I was 12 I realised I was trans
My brain is a boy and my body is feminine

17 yo lives with mum.
At 12 I said to a friend I hated the fact I am a girl. I want to be a boy
I looked it up and realised I am trans and want to change my body
Puberty was horrible I was repulsed by it
This prom waa great I did not have to worry what my body looked like

11 yo lives with mum and dad. Dad is muslim.
I was happy when mum bought me a doll when I was 4
I didnt want to wear trousers
I always like knitting singing and dancing
I socially transitioned at 9
I love sparkly things

13 yo lives with mum dad twin sister and 2 older siblings.
The prom was great and I was able to be myself
My school is accepting and inclusive
I knew from a young age I was different

The things that stand out the most for me is that for those born female it is about their body changing. Their breasts growing and puberty causing them distress. They just want to wear trousers and have short hair.

For those born male its about sparkles and glitter. Potentially their sexuality maybe causing them distress due to their parents religion and social views.

I dont think any of these children are trans and I dont think puberty blockers should be given to 12 year olds.

I agree with you completely.

The girls speaking there sound exactly like me at that age - I started a thread on here a while ago about it (don't know how to link).

None of this is new. This is madness.

That's very sad. Even allowing for the massive oversimplifications you often get in the media, I find all of those very troubling. If only they had felt accepted as they were.

Young people who had been to the prom were on Victoria Derbyshire this week talking about it:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3294478-Victoria-Derbyshire-show-today-transgender-children-buying-time-by-delaying-puberty

If only they had felt accepted as they were.

That seems to be the running theme, to me. They have interests that don't perfectly align with society's expectations - so they changed themselves instead.

I hate the term "puberty blocker" because it sounds so benign when it patently is not. There are NO studies on the effects of these medications on children for long-term use. None. Children should not be given them!

The girls rejecting puberty (and then being funelled into ‘trans’ - ‘changing sex’ ideas and interventions pathway or adopting ‘non-binary’ as a label) just seems so wrong.

Countless girls and women have been there, struggled intensely with it, and they would all agree that coming into puberty as a female in a sexist society IS horrible.

But with talking and acquiring emotional maturity and learning about the system around us, many women come out the other side into normal adult sexual and emotional maturity. This requires with no irreversible, osteoporosis-causing or fertility-stealing drugs or hormones, no irreversible surgery. No interventions from brave stunning ideologues.

And crucially this is without girls and women having to feel they should make fixed positions at a young age about their personal identity, gender, sexuality, or preferences. Girls and women should be allowed (and supported to) question, experiment this is all normal.

They should have the rest of their lives to decide how they want to live, if they want to have kids, not have kids, if they want to change their body or not, be with who they want, be who they want.

Not pressured to freeze their physical and emotional development in time at age 11 or 13 or 17. With side effects and permanent foreclosing of options.

Which of us today, now, is the same person that we thought we were, at that age? Nobody. Who would want to be that person now? Or to deal with the physical effects now, of choices or trade offs that we might have happily made, back then?

This whole ethos is so reductive and rigid and gay-erasing. It’s the exact opposite of progressive and raises 10000 safeguarding red flags in trying to get kids to make permanent changes. The drive towards closing off of children’s future choices is really frightening.

Yes. As I read I thought 3 things:

Some of you are gay, in families where that would not be countenanced
Some of you have been been brought up in very gender-stereotypical ways
Some of you have experienced mental health struggles

All of you should be allowed to dress as you like, to reject the societal expectations of gender, to have support if you are struggling with puberty, to feel sexually attracted to whoever you eventually choose.

link to the article;
www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5926807/Are-children-young-11-really-capable-making-life-changing-decisions-gender.html

I am struck by the common narrative (as reported) that so many of the young people struggled with their feelings, went online and 'then understood' they were transgender.

I also wonder how many other young people / parents will read this article and identify with some of the feelings that the young people express and contact Mermaids or go online.

Independent Voices article by Suzie Green (CEO Mermaids) 2015:
(extract)
"Puberty is in itself a diagnostic tool. If it doesn't not cause distress, then the likelihood is that the child is not transgender. If it does cause distress, then hormone blocking medication is given, which is completely reversible if needs be."

www.independent.co.uk/voices/comment/ive-been-called-an-abusive-and-dangerous-parent-when-all-i-did-was-listen-to-my-transgender-child-10165241.html#r3z-addoor

"Puberty is in itself a diagnostic tool. If it doesn't not cause distress, then the likelihood is that the child is not transgender. If it does cause distress, then hormone blocking medication is given, which is completely reversible if needs be."

With no long term studies done on these 'puberty blockers'.

This endocrinologist is concerned.
www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2018/04/21220/

There is a long history of puberty being distressing for some young people.

From the 2015 article by Susie Green above:

"When my daughter started puberty at 12, she was incredibly depressed. She started taking overdoses of paracetamol, before moving onto to self-harming with razor blades. For her, it was a daily relief and distraction to her body changing in a way she couldn't control. She was prescribed blockers at 13."

Framing self-harm & distress in this way is concerning for a number of reasons. It was of course a much more complex situation which Suzie Green described in a TedTalk. This article, will though inform other readers, some of whom may either be young people or their parents/ carers.

TedTAlk Published on 13 Dec 2017 46,168 views

If trans ideology had been so prevalent when I was a teenager I probably would have wanted to trans too.

I remember feeling that puberty was giving me an inferior body. Boobs that got you unwanted attention, periods that were painful and stopped you doing things. Boys becoming so much faster and stronger.

I was convinced of boys’ superiority and puberty was sending me on a path I couldn’t stop.

Sadly the boys around me were also convinced of their superiority by virtue of being stronger.

If I could have identified my way out of that I would have!

That is absolutely heartbreaking. These kids trying to conform to parental or religious expectations. These kids who are so scared of puberty and all the absolute horror that brings. These kids that are GNC and don’t have the support to experiment with that. We will see a lot of troubled adults in years to come who should have been able to trust and rely on the adults around them. But they have all been horrendously let down.

To start with I thought I was gay so did my mum she found it difficult to reconcile her faith but then I learnt about transgender

This is depressing and very illuminating

susie green's daughter is now not 13 years old she is a grown woman who if you have actually meet or talked to is smart, funny and living her life, she as done some pritty amazing things in her life and always seems to be living it to the full.

It's just petrifying that parents would put their children on this medication.

I hated puberty. I strapped down my breasts, hid my periods as they started so young, cut my hair off and would have done anything to not be a teenage girl.

If my parents had then put me on puberty blockers and the media tols me I was trans I might have been all over that.

Agreed ifyousee but I would also say that now I am glad I did not have the opportunity. It would have been wrong.

Yes I still dislike my body but it also gave birth to DD which is worth every period, the veins, the loss of income etc

And I can see now that much of my self hatred was driven by my not fitting a sterotype that is an external factor supported by idiots and bad people. Bad peope exist. The problem is them not me.

Is it not possible that it's meant to be a bit distressing. I mean it's a problem you have to deal with alone really, and that makes you grow up. Susie seems to be saying that a child who puts up a bit of resistance to the fact that their body is changing is abnormal in a sense and therefore must be trans. But it seems normal to me. It's less dramatic but I found the physical changes of the menopause challenging but it doesn't mean I'm not a woman.

Bespin i would imagine Susie Greens child was always going to be smart and funny. Thats personality.
I would like to think any child can grow up to do amazing things regardless of what sex they are.

when these threads come up I always wish you could actually meet some of these. young people as they will blow a lot of your fears away, they are smart and articulate and so so funny. they support each other emontionally like I have never seen any other groups of young people do, they get what you are doing and mostly would just like you to listen to them and actually see them without judging them for who they are.

My advice to any parent reading this who suspects their child may soon start thinking they are trans. Address the girl brain boy brain nonsense head on: Explain that boys brains and girls brains are the same and open their eyes to social conditioning that creates the differences in behaviour. Tell them you expect them to be themselves and not conform unless they really want to. Treat their non conformity as completely normal and congratulate their clothing choices in an inconspicuous way. Ask what their friends are saying about homosexuality - it isn't only in the home that kids pick up homophobia. Try to have positive gay role models in their lives if you can. Make it clear that you understand how scary puberty is but that many of thd changes will happen very slowly. My dd was very nearly referred to Tavistock but thankfully she was exposed to the trans narrative by a friend quite young so I was able to address it while she still trusts me more than social media. I prescribed gender critical feminism and she's doing really well.

I am not judging the children.
I am however judging the adults who are responsible for these children.

I meet lots of children who are smart, funny, kind etc why would children who are struggling to accept themselves be any different?

What do you assume I feel or think about the children in the article Bespin?

"That night I was still stuck on the question [asked by psychiatrist to define own gender]. I went online and started exploring and came across the word 'transgender', I had never heard it before. Transgender: someone who identifies with the gender other than the one assigned at birth. Immediately I knew exactly who I was. That same night I told my Mum I wasn't a girl and instantly I felt a fulfillment I hadn't felt in years, My entire personality started to change as I became to express who I truly was. I was happy again..... I am telling my story because I have to." (continues)

TedTAlk Samuel Rae Bernstein March 2018