Can we talk about the mental impact of being told the definition of woman is changing?

[UglyCathKidstonBag]

I’d like to hear specifically from women who feel their mental health has been in any way impacted by being told the definition of “woman” has or will change so that it either excludes them or includes men. Has anyone felt their mental health has been impacted by the “erasure” of woman.

I have long term therapy as part of treatment for PTSD and GAD both of which are centred around abuse from various men in my life. I had been able to control both to a manageable state thanks to this treatment until the past 3-6 months.
I am now unable to use places such as gyms, swimming pools, changing rooms and similar settings because of my fear of being in intimate spaces with unknown male bodied people. This is now starting to have a knock on impact for my work.

I am feeling very depressed after reading Justine post along the lines that trans people are the most oppressed group ever.

^I'm angry. I think about it at night; it's the first thing I think about upon waking.
I came off Twitter and Insta..too stressful. I discuss stuff on FB but my goodness it's emotionally debilitating when people are trying to threaten you to accept their lies^

I know exactly what you mean. I'm constantly angry, feel everyone is enabling bullies to bully me and it is deeply distressing as a former victim of coercive control and male violence. It feels very similar and triggers my anxiety.

Something that really gets me is going on twitter and finding some godawful crap by by someone TRA or woke, and then about ten replies supporting them or saying terfs are disgusting or whatever. I find the sheer numbers of supporters for these lies quite overwhelming.

YY I have had to limit my time on twitter, which is a cesspool of misogyny. And on any gender critical article you have to wade through a hundred feminist hating MRAs who don't support trans ideology either but find it more fun to bait women. Very draining.

TheyHaveSwingingBrickForAHeart
That's the mantra that's been so successful and everyone, not just MNHQ, have bought into it. And actually, I wouldn't disagree to an extent. But, we all know how damaging the 'oppression olympics' is - and I won't get into it.
Trans people may be very vulnerable but there are many exceptionally wealthy and powerful organisations devoted to their cause - and sadly using their energies to attack and oppress women rather than to support trans people. I prefer to devote my energies to women and children - both powerless and nit supported by wealthy organisations. Whether it is women subject to DV, sexual assault, poverty etc etc or vulnerable children currently being gaslighted and groomed into all sorts of unthinkable beliefs and behaviours that will affect their future in terrible ways they cannot possibly comprehend at their age.
MNHQ are not the problem - they are being threatened in ways I can only imagine. We are on the right side of history no matter how many slogans are used against us. This has become my mantra: Millicent Fawcett's words:
Courage calls to courage everywhere and its voice cannot be denied

I am feeling very depressed after reading Justine post along the lines that trans people are the most oppressed group ever.

I know what you mean

I've been trying to work out if she's now one of the pod people or if she's trying to placate the rage of the TRA by offering them a bone - I'm really not sure.

What I do know is I'm entirely disappointed with her stance either way.

Because it's good to remember this...

This thread is timely. I was thinking today that this issue is adversely affecting my mental health In many of the ways described here.I also feel a lot of fear. Spaces I have always considered safe now may not be. Opinions may result in verbal and physical violence against me. And I am a long way from the front line and have little to lose.

But I also feel I owe it to all the woman who are fighting back and to my daughter and granddaughter to try to push past the fear and add my voice.

But I’m starting to think I may have to take a break occasionally. My head is too full of it all the time.

My MP didn’t reply to my letter but I am encouraged by James Kirkup’s article saying that the volume of letters has made a difference.

I am afraid.
And furious.

We have all but completed the process whereby our laws no longer recognise my sex.

I cannot assert my sex and have it acknowledged as significant, even though it is entirely obvious to all I meet.

My sex nearly resulted in my death, and would have, in many countries of the world, when I did what only my sex can do, give birth.

But now all I am permitted to reference of my femaleness, is a psychological 'identity' I DON'T possess, and which was assigned to me without my permission, by men, and for the benefit of other men, so that they can say they match me.

I fight the feeling of desperation, impotence and powerlessness back every day, and refuse to let it consume me.

I will never let this go until the law recognises the reality of my sex once again, and acknowledges that this excludes every male, because I am not like them. They want the law to say we are the same by virtue of 'gender', and I will never stop until the law acknowledges we are different by virtue of sex.

I will never let this lie overlay the truth.

I will never let this go until the law recognises the reality of my sex once again, and acknowledges that this excludes every male, because I am not like them. They want the law to say we are the same by virtue of 'gender', and I will never stop until the law acknowledges we are different by virtue of sex.

Me neither.

I am scared. Really scared tonight.

I'm fuming about her comments about "most oppressed". How could she say that, how could she disregard the way women are treated worldwide-even if you think women in the U.K. have it easy?!

I am scared. Really scared tonight.

But I feel a whole lot better knowing I'm not alone with this. Imagine how that would feel.

And thank god for Margaret Attwood and George Orwell.

It's her privilege talking Chicken and she can't see it.

Or she's pandering to the woke/right thinkers.

Or she's drunk the proverbial.

I honestly can't tell.

I just can't believe she said that terry! I mean, I know she did but it's just incredible. It's like we are in some parallel universe

Ereshkigal
Anxiety is awful - I have/had PND and it manifested as anxiety
The anti-Ds help me to fight this fight because otherwise the abusive language and gaslighting would make me too afraid.
I think a lot of us people with anxiety are passionate people, we care which is why we carry on
Sometimes I wish I was like DH
He agrees with everything I tell him but it just doesn't concern him.

Chicken I know, we truly are through the looking glass now

Anyone who thinks that trans people are the most oppressed group has to be seriously hard of thinking or believes that appeasement will win concessions. It won't. Because TRAs seek validation for their ideology and nothing less than complete submission to their fantasy world will do.

No one is born in the wrong body. We all have the right body. What some people have is a warped idea of the concept of masculinity and femininity.

Sorry - wrong thread. That was a derail from mental health.

Something that really gets me is going on twitter and finding some godawful crap by by someone TRA or woke, and then about ten replies supporting them or saying terfs are disgusting or whatever. I find the sheer numbers of supporters for these lies quite overwhelming.

I’ve said this before and it wasn’t well received but, while I know things are shit, surely it’s worth bearing in mind that many such accounts may be cultivated by far fewer real somebodies.

I’m focusing on the issues because I’m not prepared to be made afraid of what may be a lot of shadows.

I understand which post you are referring to upstart

Its such a shame when 'people' feel they can do that on a thread which is essentially for support

The only thing women have in common is our biology. Because of our biology we experience disadvantage and discrimination. Hard won women's rights exist to address that disadvantage. No other demographic needs those rights because no other demographic has our biology and suffers discrimination because of it. Taking away women's rights doesn't benefit any other demographic, it just disadvantages women. Those who seek to silence women and deny us the language we need to describe and challenge the disadvantage we experience because of our biology are enabling the oppression and abuse of women. I do wonder how those who campaign for the removal of women's rights process the knowledge that their actions put women - and the most vulnerable women in particular - at risk.

Ground

This is the absolute crux of the matter it really is.

I don't want to derail the thread, but I think it's important to see this in the wider context, both personally and politically.

I understand why it is having this effect on people, but that is both intended and desired. Don't give them what they want - don't give others the power to 'set' your mood; their comments reflect on them, not on you. Don't get sad - get determined.

There is an awful lot to despair of at the moment, and I'm frankly rather more worried about Brexit and Trump than I am about TRAs, although of course they all fit into the same picture of a resurging patriarchy. If anything, I feel that the dismantling of women's rights as part of the same shock doctrine is a more minor detail, though part of the larger picture.

However, this is absolutely not the time to give up. If you do that, then they win by default. In fact, the reason I feel a lot more cheerful about the women's rights issue, compared to say Brexit, is that I actually think that women are in an extremely strong position (unlike say Remainers).

The reason for this is that the mainstream media have already showed that once the issue has been raised the vast majority of ordinary people - in this country anyway - are on our side. TRA voices may shout loudest, but there are actually very few of them, and their views are not generally supported. The issue is that very few people - outside of MN - are aware that the issue even exists. That's why campaigns like Man Friday are so fantastic and successful - because as soon as people do become aware, about 95% of them support us. It's just that only a tiny number are yet aware of the issue, outside of those already interested on either side.

Do not despair. Act. More publicity, more spreading awareness. When I told my DH, he thought I was making it up, it was so bizarre and far-fetched. Then when I gave him examples, he agreed that the situation was insane.

People just need to be made aware. On this issue at least, both the vast majority of the public, and the media, are on our side. Don't forget that. Politicians will, as always, listen to those who shout loudest. And who have the most votes. Now is not the time to be quiet.

PS I'm a lurker and occasional poster. There are hundreds and hundreds, probably thousands of people just like me out there, supporting you discreetly all the time. :)

Thank you ChickenMe

I agree with so much of what is said here. As a survivor of an abusive relationship, for which I got a lot of help on MN, I struggle with the DARVO and gaslighting tactics. It’s the same sense of outrage and helplessness at hearing lies told about and to me and having little power to refute them. I never thought I’d be back in a situation like that, and yet here I am.

But... this time I recognise the abuse for what it is and am surrounded by people who help me to say, “Fuck that shit” and fight back. I will not stop telling the truth. I will not stop fighting for women and girls’ rights, safety, privacy and dignity. Abuse me all you want, it doesn’t make you right and instead highlights all over again why women need these rights and provisions in the first place.

So... bruised, but fuck it. Here I am. There’s a consultation to read, people to talk to and #randomactsofmanliness to be done!