message to anti trans hate speakers

[ElliePhantW33]

I know it's hard to tell how mixed up you feel
Hoping what you need is behind every door
Each time you get hurt, I don't want you to change
Because everyone has hopes, you're human after all
The feeling sometimes, wishing you were someone else
Feeling as though you never belong
This feeling is not sadness, this feeling is not joy
I truly understand. Please, don't cry now

Please don't go, I want you to stay
I'm begging you please, please don't leave here
I don't want you to hate
For all the hurt that you feel
The world is just illusion, trying to change you

A cuntyballs of the first defree

I see.
That is a whole other thing then innit?

He wrote wonderful nonsense poems, Ogden Nash

Yes, but 'purple cow' wasn't one of them - apparently someone called Gelett Burgess, who also invented the word 'blurb'.

Here's a nice short Nash

Celery, raw
Develops the jaw,
But celery, stewed,
Is more quietly chewed.

thebewilderness
Typo. It should have said

cuntyballs of the first degree

If I'm going out, I'm going out cursing lol

But shortest is 'Fleas' :
Adam
Had'em

Ah - I've found a Nash which may be a parody of Cow...

The Abominable Snowman

I’ve never seen an abominable snowman,
I’m hoping not to see one, 
I’m also hoping, if I do,
That it will be a wee one.

Just had to google the whole song.
Warning, it's very long...

My Ding-A-Ling

When I was a little bitty boy
My grandmother bought me a cute little toy
Silver bells hanging on a string
She told me it was my ding-a-ling-a-ling, oh

My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling
I want you to play with my ding-a-ling
My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling
I want you to play with my ding-a-ling

You know, then mama took me to Sunday school
They tried to teach me the golden rule
Everytime that choir would sing
Watch me playin' with my ding-a-ling-a-ling, oh

My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling
I want you to play with my ding-a-ling
My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling
I want you to play with my ding-a-ling

Once I was climbing the garden wall
I slipped and had a terrible fall
I fell so hard, I heard bells ring
But held on to my ding-a-ling-a-ling, oh

My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling
I want you to play with my ding-a-ling
My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling
I want you to play with my ding-a-ling

Once, I was swimmin' 'cross Turtle Creek
Man, them snappers all around my feet
Sure was hard swimmin' 'cross that thing
With both hands holdin' my ding-a-ling-a-ling, oh

My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling
I want you to play with my ding-a-ling
My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling
I want you to play with my ding-a-ling

This little song, it ain't so sad
The cutest little song you ever had
Those of you who will not sing
You must be playin' with your own ding-a-ling

My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling
I want you to play with my ding-a-ling
My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling
I want you to play with my ding-a-ling

Your own ding-a-ling, your own ding-a-ling
We saw you playin' with your own ding-a-ling
My ding-a-ling, everybody sing
I wanna play with my ding-a-ling
I wanna play with my ding-a-ling

Chuck berry

All my long life I have misremembered Purple Cow as belonging to Ogden Nash. There is another thing I stored like that, only a dreadful horrible thing. Brains can be tricksy.

It is very Nash-y, I only realised the misattribution because I went looking for the riposte.

I was surprised to see ding-a-long was 1972, I thought I was younger than 11 when we'd sing it giggling in the playground and saying the ban was silly 'but he says it's silver bells'

@thebewilderness
Pacific Time Zone, huh? Are you in the western US? Because I am as well. :)

Sorry to hear about your sleep troubles, but I would probably also avoid surgery, too!

@Bowlofbabelfish

My confusion there was really about the original post. (I didn't know they were plagiarized lyrics, and just thought them to be some awful poem.)

That said, your explanation of British humor and its role in peaceful protest, (Taking The Piss), was excellent and MUCH appreciated. It clarified a lot for me about various MN conversations. As usual, well done and THANK YOU.

Ooh! I have never really got poetry, which is probably a personal failing, but i luffs Wendy Cope:

1.

HE TELLS HER

He tells her that the earth is flat —
He knows the facts, and that is that.
In altercations fierce and long
She tries her best to prove him wrong.
But he has learned to argue well.
He calls her arguments unsound
And often asks her not to yell.
She cannot win. He stands his ground.

Wicked
'Young hearts run free'
Aahhh, I remember those lyrics, I was at secondary school yet the words resonated even then.
I wonder why that was, when so much of my life hadn't yet begun?

Aniaf
Love Wendy Cope.

I've just headed over to Pam Ayres website to read "They should have asked my husband"
Brilliant, so true.

I've known a few guys who thought they were pretty smart
But you've got being right down to an art
You think you're a genius-you drive me up the wall
You're a regular original, a know-it-all

I never knew a guy who carried a mirror in his pocket
And a comb up his sleeve-just in case
And all that extra hold gel in your hair oughta lock it
'Cause Heaven forbid it should fall outta place

Here's an excerpt from 'They should have asked my husband'.

...Upon these areas he brings his intellect to shine,
In a great compelling voice that's twice as loud as yours or mine.
I often wonder what it must be like, to be so strong,
Infallible, articulate, self confident and....
wrong

Pam Ayres

That's the perfect poem for mansplainers!

Wonderful Science

I did not know that Pam Ayres did poetry, I only knew her off the telly. What a good thread

"They should have asked my Husband" - So brilliantly observed and true. I feel a name change coming on sometime soon...

Wake up
Grab a brush and put on a little makeup

@ cow tribute poetry.

I love this thread.

One fine day
In the middle of the night
Two dead (wo)men got up to fight
Back to back they faced each other
Drew their swords and shot each other

And I've made a cunt of mysel'
😂 😂

There was a young ally from Goldsmiths
Who believed bio sex was the stuff of myths
To mumsnet he wandered
But his arse he was handed
So he fled back to twitter and put us all on lists