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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Very basic, obvious examples of male privilege please?

362 replies

tigersox · 18/06/2018 19:21

Examples every man will experience. Undeniable and obvious

I'm trying to make male privilege simple to a friend who feels us feminists have gone too far.

Thanks Grin

OP posts:
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8
QuentinSummers · 18/06/2018 19:22

Read "man who has it all"

Eledamorena · 18/06/2018 19:37

Not sure if this is what you're after but a few basic/minor/obvious things spring to mind:

Being able to dress 'well' and look professional in a fraction of the time it takes a woman to achieve the same 'standard' of presentation.

Never wondering if your boss or the person interviewing you is wondering about your family situation / number of children / plans to have children and therefore whether you should be hired/promoted. A man with 3 kids is just a worker, kids irrelevant... a woman with 3 kids will take time off, be late etc etc (not true, and when it is this is often down to expectations rather than a father being unable to play his role, but I know for sure it goes through employers' minds).

Never/rarely queuing for the loo (though to be fair, ladies' loos are often in a better state than gent's!)

Far less likely to feel unsafe in any number of situations e.g. walking home in the dark, getting into a taxi alone, being approached / receiving unwanted attention.

Able to be direct and honest at work rather than carefully phrasing what you say in order to avoid being considered feisty / difficult / opinionated / too big for your boots.

Far less likely to be negatively judged for being a working parent (totally the norm for men) OR for choosing to stay at home to raise children (men who do so still have a certain level of novelty and while no doubt they feel that some people raise eyebrows about it, many others praise their dedication or skills or modern approach).

Less likely to be put down due to their gender... of course this does happen on both sides (men are slow, crap at parenting, emotionally stunted, only interested in sport/beer, and other such nonsense) but it feels like women have this worse. So many insults to men insinuate femininity or else outright state things like 'women drivers' or, for kids, 'you throw like a girl'. Even our worst insults are 'female'... dick or bellend is nowhere near as offensive as cunt, and pussy suggests weakness.

I'm v interested to see what others post!!

Kettlepotblackagain · 18/06/2018 19:40

Thinking about how women should change their behaviour rather than teaching men not to rape

Kettlepotblackagain · 18/06/2018 19:41

Having an opinion, being a leader and immediately being thought of as bitch/aggressive when the same behaviour is admired if you're a man

catsofa · 18/06/2018 19:43

I second reading "the man who has it all", it's a Facebook page full of nice snappy memes which illustrate this stuff really well.

babybrainusedtobesmart · 18/06/2018 19:44

Never being randomly shouted at for supposed sexual promiscuity. Ie a complete stranger shouting 'slut!' as he drives past

Never being scared to walk past a group of the opposite sex a night. At best they might just eye you up and comment on your looks, at worst you fear rape.

MaidOfStars · 18/06/2018 19:45

I’m reading about how males and females are differently described/advised during performance reviews at work. It’s pretty horrifying.

Females are aggressive, abrasive, not team players.
Males are assertive leaders.

TakeawayTakeMeAway · 18/06/2018 19:46

Walking past building sites, need I say more?

Page Three ‘girls’.

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore · 18/06/2018 19:46

Does your friend have kids? Does he work? Ask him how many times someone has asked him how he feels about having so much time away from his kids? Or why he had kids if he chooses to work? Or referred to him as babysitting his own children? Or congratulated him for the childcare that he does?

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore · 18/06/2018 19:48

Realise I assumed your friend was male... just reverse the questions if not!

FreezerBird · 18/06/2018 19:49

Not having to act as a representative for their sex all the time...

A man is elected to a leadership position. He isn't very good. Response "he wasn't very good".

A woman is elected to a leader position. She isn't very good. Response "we will never elect a woman again".

halfwitpicker · 18/06/2018 19:51

Working mother

WTAF?

When was the last time you heard someone say 'working father'

NEVER

halfwitpicker · 18/06/2018 19:52

As soon as women kick up a fuss at work, they are seen as 'trouble'. Men are seen as assertive.

boatyardblues · 18/06/2018 19:53

In M&S men are able to buy decent work and casual wear at very affordable prices: cotton shirts, woollen knitwear, leather shoes and nice Italian suits in wool and linen. Womenswear is a bonfire of highly flammable polyester, overly ornamented with all manner of shite and cut so there is often too much on show, all at stupid prices. For decent workwear in natural fibres, women have to buy from more expensive fashion lines (eg Jaeger, Hobbs, Jigsaw) and at significantly higher prices. Add in more expensive haircuts, the price of bra, (limited durability vs socks) hosiery and makeup and it is a lot more expensive just to get out of the door and go to work, without the pay gap, motherhood penalty and all that other crap.

The thing I most often notice is all the wifework that gets done for senior men by their PAs/admin staff - buying leaving gifts, birthday presents for family, etc.

AnotherQuoll · 18/06/2018 19:55

Being able to sit by yourself in a cafe, just relax and have five minutes to yourself, watch the world, read a paper, or whatever without some bloke deciding you simply mustn't be allowed that space, that you're there to provide some kind of conversation service for him.

AnduinsGirl · 18/06/2018 19:56

Being able to wander into any pub, buy a drink and stand/sit in solitude without some unwelcome fool harassing you.

Somerville · 18/06/2018 19:56

Leading on from 'working mother', I give you "career woman" and that I've never, ever, heard someone describe a male as a "career man".

AnduinsGirl · 18/06/2018 19:57

I see we've both suffered there, AnotherQuoll

halfwitpicker · 18/06/2018 20:00

Unwanted advice from idiotic men.

I was walking down a quiet suburban street once and some toss pot told me I was walking on the wrong side. Actually stopped the car, wound the window down and informed me of this.

Do you think he'd have told a man? No, he wouldn't.

I wish with all my heart I'd have looked him dead in the eye and said slowly 'Fuck..... Off'

But of course I'm conditioned to be polite. He's conditioned to be an asshole.

TransplantsArePlants · 18/06/2018 20:03

Not being accused of being aggressive, abrasive, hysterical or shrieky when expressing anger

Not doing all the thinking about children

Not being the default carer of children: being able to get praise for 'babysitting' their own children and 'helping' their wife

Not being groped, wolf-whistled at or worse in public

Not having to suffer the multiple and life-long health issues related to female anatomy

Not being blamed for violence they are subjected to

EmilieDuChatelet · 18/06/2018 20:07

Personal space. Male personal space more respected than women's. So no bum patting, arms around shoulders, being grabbed for a hug, bottom pinching, or worse. No rubbing of pregnancy bumps.

If friend cannot see this find some Jim and Jim (French and Saunders) sketches for how women view men who do this.

QuentinSummers · 18/06/2018 20:08

The parking thread is a good example too
Contraception - men have one choice and it doesn't fuck with their mind. Women routinely get told they are imagining contraceptive side effects
Shoes
Being able to go topless in the heat

The main one though is the freedom men have to go where they like when they like. Despite men being at higher risk of violent assaults.

flashnazia · 18/06/2018 20:11

Examples of male privilege:
Not fearing pregnancy
Not fearing rape
Not having to fear being called bitchy when you are simply asserting yourself
Not having to fear the loss of your career if you have children
Not having to fear your sex class being erased
Not having to fear I suppose.

fascinated · 18/06/2018 20:12

@halfwitpicker - I once had a van man tell me I shouldn’t have crossed the street with my pram where I did ... seriously ! Luckily I am now quite old and don’t care so I told him where to go, called him a cheeky so and so and loudly told everyone around me what he had done to a poor defenceless pram last and got lots of sympathy and righteous anger from everybody! And yes I made sure I pointed out that he wouldn’t have said that to a man, would he??? He wasn’t happy. 😂

CircleSquareCircleSquare · 18/06/2018 20:12

When they are in sole charge of their children they are merely babysitting. I wonder if the pick up a bit of pin money for the task.

One I get a lot at work is “oh, a lady doctor!” my husband is in the same profession and never experiences similar.

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