Very basic, obvious examples of male privilege please?

[tigersox]

Examples every man will experience. Undeniable and obvious

I'm trying to make male privilege simple to a friend who feels us feminists have gone too far.

Thanks

What an absurd post.

It’s not at all - he was permitted to fight for his country. He was allowed to become a hero...

When I was in Brussels, at 9pm I came to use a public loo. The women's loo was shut and locked, the disabled loo was shut and locked, but the gents was still open. I'd just had a coil fit and had a slightly irritated uterus and a pelvis full of lidocaine, I was not happy.

Brussels is full of pissoirs (outdoor urinals), more in number than public toilets. Don't believe me? Go to www.brussels.be/map-brussels and click on toilets and click on urinals and compare the two on the map. And the urinals are open 24/7, the loos are not.

Two examples of male privilege off the top of my head:

1. Medicine is male oriented. New drugs and surgery techniques are overwhelmingly tested on males, so many drugs and therapies are ineffective for women. Crash test dummies use male models, so cars are more dangerous for women but safer for men. The standard heart attack symptoms (pain in arm, clutching chest, etc) are normal for men, but very rare for women. More women die of heart attacks because they simply aren't aware they are having any. Males get more pain relief because male pain is treated seriously.

2. Travel. Men can travel anywhere in the world on their own with the expectation they will be treated like a human being. Many countries in the middle east are off limits to women, unless they wear restrictive clothing and don't go outside. Men can travel alone, hitchhike, and make friends without a real persistent fear of being raped or sexually assaulted. In some countries, the sexual harassment towards lone female travellers is unremitting and unrelenting.

@vicky1990, who was it who said that women cannot fight? Was it women? No, it was men in our Govt! The Russians happily sent women into combat.

In this country, women died in air raids and risked their lives delivering aircraft from the factories to the RAF bases, fifteen of them died doing so as they were flying a new-built plane for the first time and had no onboard IFF so would be shot at in error by AA batteries. Combatants are not the only casualties of war, but they are almost always the only ones listed on war memorials. I think in the whole of my life I've seen one female nurse listed on a memorial.

Male lack of street harassment. I have yet to hear of a man having "I want to fuck you in the arse" shouted at him at the railway station. I have yet to hear of a man and his father overhearing two men behind them saying "hey, we should try and get blowjobs off these two lads" (meaning the man and his father), whereas my mother and I once had "hey, we should try and get blowjobs off these two lasses" said about us.

Someone else (@Pratchet?) said on another thread that the single biggest aspect of positive discrimination that men get is not being sexually harassed.

When I was a live-in nanny, I put my in-ear (but not he ones that go right inside) headphones on the table. Male boss comments the inner ear ones are better, more soundproof, secure and unlikely to fall out. I had to point out while pout and about, soundproof headphones its harder to remove immediately is literally the last thing I need. He truly didn't understand why being able to hear my surroundings, only remove one ear if needed, or both quickly, was so important to me. I could see the cogs and gears moving as I explained, yes while he has no issue walking or running and not hearing surroundings I have to be far more safety cautious.

This comes after him recommending an evening running route he loved, but passed a couple of less traveled, poorly lit areas, but I didn't say anything then. He was father to two girls and I hope after the headphone thing he took more time to consider just how it is being out and about while female.

First encounter with pay gap- aged 16 or so, working in a shop with a few other teens. £3.20 an hour for girls, £3.40 for the boys. The boy's job role was 'security guard', girls was shop assistant, but all of us did exactly the same thing, 50% on tills 50% shelf stocking and being a presence near the alcohol to deter thefts.

Having a conversation with right on male colleague (who I do really lien) who supports trans rights and thinks transwomen are no threat to women in women only spaces

So I asked would you go in a women’s changing room as he would be able to if self ID laws come into play

He replied

No as I think I would either be laughed at or thought of as a perv

So his fear of being misjudged or mocked is very real and our fear of being assaulted or perved over isn’t

Vicky1990, I think the OP was looking for examples slightly more contemporary than a century ago. When, btw, women in this country still didn't even have the right to vote for the governments deciding military strategy, but were killed and maimed from working in munitions factories, then unceremoniously dumped from the workforce on the men's return. In those days before the NHS, many of them died protracted and agonising deaths, with neither recognition for their sacrifice nor pensions for their families.

But don't let that stop you derailing a serious and important discussion with your entirely spurious point, eh?

My fathers oldest brother had the privilege of been killed in the first world war at the battle of the Somme

It was a few men that sent other men to war. The mother's probably would have fought against it but couldn't because of male privilege. It was high up men who had no value for life in their patriarchal world.

Lots of women like being stared at - it validates them and is a compliment. Feminism has gone too far when it says men shouldn't stare at women'

I think it just normal behaviour for men or women to not stare hence 'don't stare it's rude'. It's just not social and normal behaviour feminism aside.

Regarding it being a compliment is just silly. As far as feminism going too far I think the fact women need to be validated by men is highly misogynistic and his problem. Also he thinks this problem is fit to represent the whole of feminism and undo it.

@fmsfms: No shark-jumping here.

OP: Bi women are treated as "two for one" by men and expected to engage in MFF threesomes for his pleasure. Bi men are not subjected to this pressure.

'Lots of women like being stared at - it validates them and is a compliment. Feminism has gone too far when it says men shouldn't stare at women'

When I was nine, I was in a mixed school changjng room getting changed. The other kids and the teacher had gone. I already had breasts and periods and I refused to change with boys around, hence why I waited. Two older boys came along the corridor. As they came, they stared at me. I fastened my shirt quickly and decided to wait until they'd gone before putting my skirt on and removing my PE shorts. They came into the changing room and took turns to grab and palpate my vulva. I froze. They laughed at my frozen shock. They then humiliated me by telling the other kids that I had pubic hair. 30'years later I can still hear their laughter and writing this makes my skin crawl.

It started with their stares.

Women are prey to men and staring exists to remind us of that. My cat stares at a mouse he is hunting and men are just the same as my cat when it comes to treating us as prey, without empathy. Staring provokes a panic response in me. The feelings of doormat handmaidens, who regard themselves so poorly that being prey seems like validation, do not trump my right to be safe and feel safe.

Men don't live in fear of being raped and murdered on their way home from work, women do and a man staring carries an implicit threat.

men are more likely to be murdered than women.

Men are around 10 times more likely to end up sleeping rough than women

Its not all one way

Yay Clairetree1 saves the day and comes along to tell us men have it hard too

And spectacularly misses the point of this thread

To not be sexually harrassed or assaulted. This story is in today's news:
'Shocking' level of sexual harassment at music festivals - www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-44518892

*So his fear of being misjudged or mocked is very real and our fear of being assaulted or perved over isn’t hmm

Sorry to repeat the quote, but that example sums it up: ^Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.^

We had a meeting at work with a Saudi client. The male senior team member told the very junior woman working on the matter that she might need to wear a hijab to the meeting. She came to me (senior woman in the team) to discuss as she wasn't comfortable. The men attending the meeting could focus on preparing for the substance of meeting, rather than weighing up if they should cover their hair against their wishes to keep a client happy.

What happened, euro? I hope she didn't! (And yes I totally get what you're saying - that even if they didn't force her to wear one in the end, the mere suggestion bolloxed up her mental preparation.)

He's not a lovely guy. He hasn't 'checked with other women,' you are being played.
Stop playing the game.

You can cheat on your wife and society, including women, will blame the woman you slept with.

@Clairetree1

men are more likely to be murdered than women.

By who? The murder fairy? Men commit over 90% of violent crime. That they murder us at a rate of three per fortnight as well as murdering each other is men's problem to sort out. The kind of man who murders is not going to listen to women, but he might listen to other men.

Men are around 10 times more likely to end up sleeping rough than women

There isn't a homelessness fairy either, so perhaps an analysis of why this happens would be in order? Pro-tip: the answer is unlikely to be "because feminists exist".

Male privilege - getting a woman to go on a woman's forum, to get a load of opinions from other women and present them to him, instead of bothering to self-question / educate himself.

Ha ha, yes, nailed it sar. The TL:DR for this thread, OP, is your "friend" is an unrepentant sexist arse who is almost certainly beyond help, life is too short and you should bin him and spend time with nicer people.

Food, bloody food!

Unbelievably, in establishments such as cafes, restaurants and pubs where a man and woman might choose the same dish and therefore pay the same, there are still some places who think it somehow acceptable to give men a larger portion. Now, I accept that plating up isn't always 100% reliable and that items like steaks, chops etc can differ in size but I have actually sat there while the server giggles and states they've given my partner a 'few extra' chips/potatoes/whatever. I always call this out when it's blatant as I think it's outrageous that the purchasing power of my ££ is somehow less than his. It's nothing to do with greed but everything to do with respect and treating paying customers equally.

Along similar lines, and it pains me to say that it's often women who do this, how many of you have had meals at home with family or friends and see that men are automatically given larger portions. Okay, we could argue all we like about men's frames generally being larger and their calorie requirement therefore being greater too but it doesn't always follow they are feeling especially hungry on a given day, or conversely, that a woman isn't feeling ravenous. In other words, individuals aren't asked how much they'd like or not - and men's plates are simply piled high regardless of size or appetite. Similarly, the perceived 'best bits' of a meal are very often offered up to the men at the table first (the choicest slices of meat, the pork crackling, the skin off the rice pudding - doesn't matter what it is, you get the gist) …. thus reinforcing that they are somehow more deserving. I have had to point out to my MIL that although I might not want to eat a whole turkey drumstick at Xmas I would quite like some dark meat on my plate (didn't go down well) and no doubt others would too.

I'm kicking myself as I write this as in the overall scheme of things it might sound petty (particularly compared to some of the more serious examples of male privilege already described) - after all, I get fed, what's my problem? But while food is a necessity it also has significant social connotations attached to it. As a guest, you get a warm fuzzy glow when someone's gone to the trouble of cooking you a nice meal. But when other - male - guests seem to benefit more from the occasion it does make you feel somewhat 'less'. And that's it …. it's cumulative, all these small things - which in absolute isolation might just be an annoyance - add up to something far more significant and disturbing.