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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Very basic, obvious examples of male privilege please?

362 replies

tigersox · 18/06/2018 19:21

Examples every man will experience. Undeniable and obvious

I'm trying to make male privilege simple to a friend who feels us feminists have gone too far.

Thanks Grin

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8
fascinated · 18/06/2018 20:12

Pram lady not last of course!

ReluctantCamper · 18/06/2018 20:18

oh yes to the wife work

all the men who do similar jobs to me don't have heads full of

does ds1's school uniform still fit?
ds2's shoes aren't properly waterpoof
ds1 has a transition day at school, must arrange for 1 of us to work from home to get him there and back
need to send a shoebox into ds2's nursery as they're making bug houses
do i need to add anything to the waitrose delivery?

and so on and so fucking on

foxpox · 18/06/2018 20:21

It starts at birth doesn't it...and also by that I mean the pattern and behaviours that carry forward to the next generation so the male privilege is self reinforcing.
So thinking of the previous examples of men being leaders without being control freaks or bossy - Boys are treated with the same privilege as men, so when they tell other kids what to do it's classed as leadership where girls are told not to be bossy or domineering. Boys begin to think this is how it is and see themselves as in charge and women as less able (which of course being undermined all the time many women will be less able due to the uphill battle they face) and so the patterns continue when those same adults imprint it to their children. Then men continue take for granted they can fulfil leadership roles without even considering their behaviour to be anything but leadership quality. It doesn't help that these qualities are masculinised anyway, that is they are idealised male traits to start with meaning women inherently cannot have them.
Obviously it's not this linear and the issues are complex but the patterns are strong enough to see trends of how men and women are viewed differently play out the same over the world.

Other things I feel men have to deal with less:
Situations where simply being female means you have to explain yourself so that your gender isn't blamed on why you did or didn't do something. Eg - if I can't put a flat pack together then it's not because I didn't have the right tools or just read the instructions wrong, it's because I'm female and simply can't do it. If my husband can't do it it would be because he was distracted or in a rush.

Low expectation for men to look after children obviously and therefore less burden of responsibility for day to day care of children, which usually extends to the rest of a shared life hence so many people struggling with unequal division of domestic labour.

Women work more for less - if taking unpaid cleaning cooking and other domestic jobs into account then it is even more skewed. So men are paid and valued more. The implicit power imbalance here will be unnoticed by many men as it's all they've ever known.

Men aren't treated as idiots by older men of a particular type. The very fact you are a women makes you irresponsible, emotional and unsuitable for many things in the minds of plenty of people in positions of authority and power. Knowing this makes you shrink a little inside sometimes. Men won't feel this.

Respect - I have to work harder to get people to respect me in my workplace simply because I'm a woman. I don't think many men can truly identify with this because it's a build up of years of being belittled and ignored. Men largely will not have to contend with this.

The majority of people are so unaware that they categorise their children, relatives, friends, colleagues according to the very polarised gender stereotypes that it feels to me like the problems are going to get worse before they get better.

boatyardblues · 18/06/2018 20:22

Not having to sit on the bog with your arse jammed up against the sanny bin.

Freshprincess · 18/06/2018 20:23

I had to explain why a woman would carry her keys in her hand whilst walking home alone to a colleague. Not only had he no idea women did this, couldn’t fathom why.

All the fuss over women being included in the World Cup commetary team, if such prominence was ever given to women’s football there would be no complaints about male commentators.

Man who has it all is great, Some of them are so subtle it has really made me stop and think.

loveyouradvice · 18/06/2018 20:24

Feeling safe walking alone in streets late at night

Not thinking that every woman who talks to him is thinking how shaggable are you

Not becoming invisible as you age

Being able to look in any direction and seeing role models - whether head teacher of mixed school, Prime Minister, CEOs of FTSE 100, most successful high-earning sports people.... need I go on?

WinkyisbackontheButterBeer · 18/06/2018 20:26

Man leaves his wife and kids and it is fine. He will see the kids on a weekend and life will go on.

Woman leaves her husband and kids and she is a cruel and unnatural creature who should be eternally ashamed of herself.

If a man is promiscuous he is a ‘ladies man’ ‘a lad’ and someone to be aspired to.
If a woman is promiscuous she is a ‘slut’ and a ‘slapper’. Something dirty and best and ‘asking for it’ and fair game at worst.

Man buys time kids birthday present etc and he is a great dad. Mum does it and there is zero recognition. It is her job after all.

Man cleans and cooks and his wife is ‘lucky’. He should be commended and rewarded.
Wife does and nothing. If she doesnt, he should be simpathised with. She is clearly crap and not doing her job right.

ErrolTheDragon · 18/06/2018 20:26

I'm trying to make male privilege simple to a friend who feels us feminists have gone too far.

Not having to justify their right to equality.

Being the 'default sex'. But they're so used to it they tend not to notice.

tabulahrasa · 18/06/2018 20:26

I think the big ones are covered... so pettier ones

Pockets, men get pockets in their clothes.

Seatbelts are designed for men, breasts interfere with them sitting right.

Everything is at the right height for average men, not women.

If men do any parenting at all, they’re amazing, women are criticised for every single parenting decision they make.

boatyardblues · 18/06/2018 20:26

As a man, any pair of shoes/trainers/sandals/boots you decide to buy will be designed with comfort and wearability as standard. The only exception I can think of is alpine ski boots, which are designed for function over comfort.

Theinconstantgardener · 18/06/2018 20:27

Not having to sit on the bog with your arse jammed up against the sanny bin
Grin
People not assuming you are responsible for the cleanliness or otherwise of your house. Wife work x infinity

KathyBeale · 18/06/2018 20:29

I have really become aware recently of how often I move out of the way for men. Just walking down the street, or on public transport, or in shops.

The other day I was walking home and coming towards me were three lads - maybe 14 or 15. They had all been riding their bikes on the pavement and to give them their due they did all get off when they saw me coming, but they didn’t move. So they were taking up the whole pavement and I just stopped dead in the middle because I could not be arsed to squeeze up against a wall to get past. They did then move over to get round me but they all tutted as they went past. Tutted. Because I - a middle aged woman carrying lots of shopping - hadn’t moved out of their way.

troodiedoo · 18/06/2018 20:32

If you are a bisexual man, it's assumed you prefer men.

If you are a bisexual female, it is also assumed you prefer men.

Male products are cheaper but better quality. Clothes and razors spring to mind.

golondrina · 18/06/2018 20:32

For me the big one is being able to walk past a group of men/down a dark street/etc without fearing attack. OK, sometimes men are attacked/robbed, but they don't go around factoring it in to how they live their lives.
For instance, DH will go out for a run through countryside after dark, I won't as a woman.

golondrina · 18/06/2018 20:33

Yes and pockets. The older I get the more it fucks me off.

Kettlepotblackagain · 18/06/2018 20:33

If men do any parenting at all, they’re amazing, women are criticised for every single parenting decision they make.

Oh yes, this!

'Does he change nappies? Oooh isn't he good!' Can you imagine a woman being asked this.

My other fave is if he looks after his own kids, he's 'babysitting'

Man who has it all is great on this too.

Sarahconnor1 · 18/06/2018 20:35

Nick freeman. The issue of upskirting could be resolved if only women went out in public wearing a hazmat suit rather than men taking responsibility for their reprehensible behaviour mobile.twitter.com/TheMrLoophole/status/1007573280096751616?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Etweet

Note men blaming women for men's shit behaviour isn't a new thing Nick Freeman is no visionary.

bertielab · 18/06/2018 20:35

Think of a famous scientist ? Think of 10 ? How many women do you name?
Same with Classic Writers.
Try again with famous painters.............

troodiedoo · 18/06/2018 20:37

Oh also range of sizing in clothing. An obese man can buy designer clothing off the peg. Good luck finding anything bigger that a size 12/14 in the outlet shops if you're a female.

fmsfms · 18/06/2018 20:37

"If you are a bisexual man, it's assumed you prefer men.

If you are a bisexual female, it is also assumed you prefer men. "

Shark.Jumped

FrancesHaHa · 18/06/2018 20:38

Men not having to plan routes/ consider safest ways to get home all the time.

Men being praised for the slightest interest in their children

Women being blamed for being sexually assaulted.

Women always being expected to take up less space eg on the tube whilst men spread out.

claraschu · 18/06/2018 20:40

The norm for women when dressed formally is to wear makeup, shave extensively, wear high heels, wear tight and/or revealing clothes, straighten or curl hair. Men's formal clothes are comfortable, easy, and functional by comparison.

NaiceBiscuits · 18/06/2018 20:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YourVagesty · 18/06/2018 20:47

Men are promoted on their promise. Women are promoted on their past performance.

corlan · 18/06/2018 20:47

If you are a male single parent, you are automatically a saint.
If you are a man that does even close to your share of housework and child care, you are a saint.
If you are a man that doesn't support your children financially, you are never openly judged.

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