Asking people to use preferred pro-nouns is abelist and discriminatory - what affects your ability to comply?

[DJLippy]

I wanted to start a thread because I am really going to struggle to stay within Mumsnet talk guidelines.

I struggle to use preferred pro-noun's with those who I genuinely don't believe are the sex they claim to be. Because I have dyspraxia pro-noun policing creates a barrier for my fluency. I have to stop and think to change the pro-noun. I can go back and edit my post for 'mistakes' to comply but I miss out on pro-nouns (again because of my disability.)

I have spoken to those with autism and they've told me similar things - that they genuinely find it difficult to lie.

I also think that it is difficult for those for whom English is a second language. Un-learning sub-conscious grammar structures is hard enough for English people - I can only imagine how much more difficult it must be for those from other countries.

I think this is a real issue when Mumsnet creates a three strike rule. I have stopped posting since the new rule change because I honestly and truly do not mean to break rules - I can't abide by this code and I don't always have the mental energy to police my sub-conscious like this.

Does anybody else have a reason (other than the fact that they don't agree) that they find it difficult to follow the new language laws? Is it right that social media platforms and public institutions create more barriers for those who are already disadvantaged?

SuperLoud

I think we are seeing that their is an inability to comprehend that other people have different needs for which they should not be victimised...or “subjected to detriment” for holding (section 15 Equality Act)

The ideology is prioritised over anything else. SMG is showing themselves to lurkers everywhere. You are drawing them out.

You are doing well.

Solidarity

Thanks, Ereshkigal

Don't back off SMG you are doing a sterling job.

Nobody could read this thread and be left wondering about the depths of your callous disregard for females with special needs.

Keep on posting, every woman who comes across this thread will have her eyes opened.

I'm NT but I just wanted to thank the posters on this thread for opening my eyes. I'm reading and learning a lot.

SuperLoudPoppingAction, RedToothBrush, SpartacusAutisticus, JoyTheUnicorn and all the others who've posted about this, I think it would be a huge loss to MN if you weren't here.

I first heard about this issue when it was on radio 4 last autumn. One of my first thoughts was how the average well-meaning person would struggle with the ethics of ‘pretending’ to believe things that they know to be untrue. It’s difficult for a lot of NT people and would be impossible for my cousin who has autism. I can’t believe that this is happening.

I won’t report any more posts on this thread because it’s important for people to see how ignorant/discriminatory the more fervent believers of transgender ideology can be. Some people don’t seem to care about the negative effects their beliefs have on other people. I just hope that mumsnet acknowledges what people are saying here.

I'm learning a lot and it's giving me a new perspective. Thank you all.

I struggle with pronouns. I have 45 years of using he and him for men. God knows what it's like if you have a condition that exacerbates that.

Spartacus

Sorry but I reported before I saw your message about not reporting yesterday. You’re right.

I agree about not reporting. Let it stand.

There's not a boundary some people won't cross, is there? I agree about letting the vile behaviour stand so that everyone can see it.

I have just been informed by a mod that SmG's abusive behavior on this thread is not a violation of the talk guidelines.

And coming hot on the heels of saying the trans widows should probably go elsewhere, too. Lovely. Charming.

Some people are just arsewipes by nature. The empathy gene passed them by.

Really? Interesting, because I have it categorised as such. Especially the comment about caring for our mental health.

I really think the mods need training on abuser behaviour.

I have just been informed by a mod that SmG's abusive behavior on this thread is not a violation of the talk guidelines

I’m verging on Peak Mumsnet.

SMG was unimpressed at the footie thread so came over here to do a bit of kicking.

I guess we haven't been sufficiently oppressed by the new rules.

Is pontificating on what people are capable of and what's 'easy' deliberately inflammatory or spectacularly lacking in comprehension and empathy? Or both?

I will always find a way around the ever sacred pronouns.

Snowflakes will melt.

I doubt Mumsnet will comment on this thread btw. If they don't acknowledge it, they don't have to action anything. Plus if the autistic aren't virulent campaigners. It's easier to ignore the problem.

The best you'll get is an empty platitude telling people, to just play nice and it'll all be ok. Completely missing the point.

What did SA say in the comment that was deleted? I really don't see any reason why it's OK for Moose and Supermatch to tell women with disabilities to just try harder to overcome those disabilities and not OK for the women being told that to tell them to back off.

Women are not allowed to defend themselves. They just have to be nicer and try harder.

Let's kick up a fuss. We are members of protected characteristics and as such we will have bodies who lobby the government on our behalf's. We should tell them about our concerns.

We are Spartacus. Together we are legion...

Note that "back off" was the edited, trying to stick to the guidelines version of what I actually wanted to say.

I resent not being able to say it. It's been more than earned in this thread.

to my ND sisters.

AAK, I reported Moose’s posts, not SA’s.