"Planning my wedding as a non-binary bride"

[53rdWay]

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/jun/05/planning-my-wedding-as-a-non-binary-bride

"When I walk down the aisle this time, in front of every person who knows me, it will be as someone who lives in their body. Not a bride on a cake, but as myself, a person who is too complicated for the simple rituals that are the pattern of our lives."

Unlike the rest of us, who are 100% cool with compulsory femininity and aren't nearly complicated enough to be more than cake-decoration brides!

It's annoying but I feel more sorry for her than anything. This, e.g.:

“I’m in a body that isn’t saying the right things. It’s not me,” I explained. “I feel like I’m wearing a rubber suit all the time and nobody can see me inside it.”

Welcome to living with a female body under patriarchy! Join the feminists who are trying to bring the system down for everybody, not just the few special souls who are Not Like The Other Girls.

Back in the 60s to the 90s, middle-class young people wanted to "identify as" working class, because the fashionable nature of marxism and socialism among the left at that time meant that working class oppression was glamourised, and kids wanted to dramatise their personal narrative by seeing themselves as part of the vanguard of the socialist revolution. With the decline in the prestige of marxism and old-fashioned socialism from the late 80s onward, it's not surprising meant that they've similarly latched onto the LGB movement, and turned to 'queerness' instead - it's quite clear they still see themselves as "vanguard of the revolution", it's just the nature of the revolution that's changed.

Just read this and hotfooted it over here to see if posted!

Utter tripe. Narcissistic bilge. NONE of us are like other "girls"... that'll be "women", by the way. We are all unique.

ooh that's an interesting point kesstrel

we can laugh at this article about a woman, and feel sorry for her because she represents no real threat. a serious worry though, is that there are bound to be male equivalents of this heterosexual author, with their rigid understanding of gender roles, narcissistic tendencies and staggering lack of self awareness.

That is indeed a good point, Kesstrel Remember this one ?

I want to live like common people
I want to do whatever common people do
I want to sleep with common people
I want to sleep with common people like you."
Well, what else could I do?
I said "Oh, I'll see what I can do.

‘Cause everybody hates a tourist, especially one who thinks it’s all such a laugh...

FermatsTheorem ooo one of my fav songs actually, love a bit of Pulp

Thanks, Changeypants. I should add that my point comes from having been one of them myself back in the 70s - I can still remember how intensely, intoxicatingly enjoyable and emotionally rewarding it was to belong to a tribe that saw itself as a vanguard in that way. I think most of us grew out of it as reality impinged, but not all of us.

Berk I wonder whether uncle (aunt?) Brian is an actual gay man and thus exempt?

Yes of course. Lucky old Brian nobody's bothered about his gusset.

This article explains the whole special snowflake and hating millenials thing.
Jesus love, get your head out of your arse, and grow the fuck up. No one cares about what clothes you wore on your wedding day, probably even your husband wasn't that bothered.
I see the comments are switched off. A wise decision, it would have been carnage if they'd been left on.

I have MN set to put most recent posts first. So this

uniquely complicated person’ sounds like a polite euphemism for something less polite...

appeared directly above this

attention seeking muppet

Quite right Kestrel. Everyone wants to be different and special. I remember the mc students who pretended to be from wc backgrounds as being vanilla was so uncool. Us full grant wc students were very at it all.

vicviking totally agree and this does to some extent still happen at unis. I am not long out of uni myself and I recall being the only full grant student in my dorm yet I wasn't allowed to call myself wc as I came from SE whereas all my dorm mates were northerners and chose to spend their parents money at "vintage" shops to seem wc - I couldn't justify spending £50 on a pair of second hand jeans personally....

I'm sorry, I'm genuinely struggling to understand what this is about - this is a straight woman who is a bit of a tomboy, yes? Who doesn't want to wear a traditional wedding dress and was very pleased to wear another less traditional dress? Is that what this is?!

Bingpot yeah pretty much, just add in the term narcissistic and you are there

Fucking hell.

Just to combine the fabulous Celeste barber thread with this one...

*I liked dating men because I could borrow their clothes. As I settled into what I am, I changed my terms: I identified as a dyke, a tomboy. "
Tomboy, perhaps, that's just not performing femininity and all that nonsense.

But STOP appropriating lesbianism. Unless you eat pussy, you're not a dyke. Unless you are a female who shags other females, you're not a dyke. Your just a (boring) ole straight woman who wants to feel special and unlike all the other boring ole straight women...........

Indeed, SomeDyke. How can she get away with that kind of appropriation? She seems to never have had a serious / long term gay relationship so how on earth can she call herself a dyke? It makes no sense to me and I can’t fathom why it’s ok with the very active and vocal LGBT community that exists in Portland either. Has lesbian somehow become a meaningless word?

By this writer’s standards, I could have identified as non-binary in my teens but back then, in the forgotten mists of time of the late 90s, the only term available was gay / lesbian and since I was not attracted to women or in relationships with them, I naively assumed that meant I had no right to those terms. If the labels - genderqueer, lesbian, dyke, non-binary - have no meaning, why use them at all?

But STOP appropriating lesbianism. Unless you eat pussy, you're not a dyke. Unless you are a female who shags other females, you're not a dyke. Your just a (boring) ole straight woman who wants to feel special and unlike all the other boring ole straight women.

^^This. The appropriation of lesbian and gay history, language, issues and rights has reached the stage where lesbian and gay people are being completely erased, by a class of entitled narcissists who are so desperate to be unique that they don't care if they trample over another marginalised group in the process.

Oh Lord, that was painful

Woman Marries Man Shock! First Marriage Wasn't to the Right Man.

But did she get paid for the article? How much for "my life as a scientist in trousers"

I don't think I've ever read such shite in my life.
Is this the writing The Guardian are paying for these days. If so, they've been had.
I might send something in about how I chose Value tbags instead of twinnings and frame it as social commentary. Mugs.

And it's the reason I no longer read the Guardian, I was fed up with the rubbish in it. I felt it was solely intended for an American readership.

Have you looked at magazines aimed at preteen and tweenage girls recently? Absolutely bloody awful. No wonder they grow up thinking they have to be 'girly girly' to be female. Not to mention all the pink princess crap from age 1 day old onwards.

Teenage girls magazines were always awful.Jackie in the 70s was awful.

tl:dr

Heterosexual woman gets married, doesn't want a big white dress.