"Planning my wedding as a non-binary bride"

[53rdWay]

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/jun/05/planning-my-wedding-as-a-non-binary-bride

"When I walk down the aisle this time, in front of every person who knows me, it will be as someone who lives in their body. Not a bride on a cake, but as myself, a person who is too complicated for the simple rituals that are the pattern of our lives."

Unlike the rest of us, who are 100% cool with compulsory femininity and aren't nearly complicated enough to be more than cake-decoration brides!

It's annoying but I feel more sorry for her than anything. This, e.g.:

“I’m in a body that isn’t saying the right things. It’s not me,” I explained. “I feel like I’m wearing a rubber suit all the time and nobody can see me inside it.”

Welcome to living with a female body under patriarchy! Join the feminists who are trying to bring the system down for everybody, not just the few special souls who are Not Like The Other Girls.

"Wtf is a non binary bride?

I was a hexadecimal bride ..."

I think you have just created the perfect riposte, next time anyone tells you they're non-binary, you ask them if they're hexadecimal...............

What a lot of regressive bollocks.

What I want to know is how has Uncle Brian the bodice-maker supreme escaped from under the trans umbrella. Surely a bloke carrying on like that, in Portland (it's always fucking Portland) in the 21st Century should have been swept up into movement by now. Men can't make dresses Brian!

the movement

If you hate yourself and want your brain to explode read this by the same author.

Berk I wonder whether uncle (aunt?) Brian is an actual gay man and thus exempt?

MuddyForestWalks
Nope sorry couldnt read past "Writer. Insightful and irreverent"

Hexadecimal my favourite joke-

There are only 10 types of people; those who understand binary & those who dont.

I think she is someone who wants to be part of the LGBTQIetc community but is, sadly for her, an entirely conventional boring old heterosexual

Exactly.

As for not being like "other girls" every December I spend the whole month not being like "other girls" on here thinking "what? why ? really ? ! " in relation to "other girls"angst over Christmas.

The pics of Grace and Frank and Grace and Gene are fab.

Here are some more of Grace

The subcategories of the + at the end of LGBTQ seem to encompass everyone on the planet who wants to give themselves a label. Even the aromantics have their own flag to fly at pride

If you hate yourself and want your brain to explode read this by the same author.

But but... she’s a straight woman? In what way is she not a straight woman? I am lost now.

One of the very worst things about the trans movement is the way so many narcissistic straight people have decided they too can identify as really oppressed. It's utterly nauseating

Well where the hell was ‘aromatic’ as a queer identity during my somewhat commitment-averse 20s? I could have been SPECIAL.

You can come out as non-binary now 53rd! It's perfectly acceptable in woke circles. Even if you're married to a man and wear dresses and make up and have long hair. It's about how you identify

yeah, I know a couple - male and female - who now define themselves as queer, and will actually say things like “as a queer couple”. The world sees you as straight, kids, no matter how non-straight you feel on the inside; nobody’s ever going to stop you getting married, you’ve never felt any need to keep your relationship closeted, you’ll never have to worry about holding hands in public.

I am coming out as a dog, it would be less confusing. I really am lost.

I am married to a man but he wore a kilt at our wedding and I refused to wear high heels, so that’s basically not boringly binary AT ALL, I am a brave pioneer of breaking down the oppressive gender binary! (But only for me, obvs, the rest of you ‘girls’ will just have to lump it.)

Well where the hell was ‘aromatic’ as a queer identity during my somewhat commitment-averse 20s?

I know, I was ‘non-conforming’ in a lot of ways in my teens and twenties (and still am tbh), but if this shit had been around then, I reckon I may well have jumped on the bandwagon.

Take your pick

This is the author. She's cut her hair shorter since then to fit with her whole new non-binary not straight queer (although 100% heterosexual) identity

Attention seeking muppet.

If she is wearing a Grace Kelly dress then as she walks down the aisle however much she hopes otherwise most people will just be looking at her dress and thinking ‘lovely’, ‘hmm not very flattering’ or perhaps ‘ I hope we don’t have to hang around too long for the photos’. I doubt they will be considering what a uniquely complicated person she is though ‘uniquely complicated person’ sound like a polite euphemism for something less polite...

She should have worn these:

duckduckgo.com/?q=saturday+night+live+woke+jeans&t=ffsb&atb=v98-4&iax=videos&ia=videos&iai=adPXDTvADD0

Ohhhh, I read that ‘straight people shouldn’t write about us gay folk, it’s objectifying’ article a while ago and actually thought the author made a fair point.

Because I thought she was actually gay...

I had no idea she was just a regular ol’ hetero female like me who has just labeled herself as ‘queer’ because she rode bikes as a kid and borrows her - straight, ‘cis’ - boyfriend’s shirts now and again.

That puts that piece in a whole new light. She is basically a fag hag, lolling on the edges of LGBTQI+ culture who fetishizes gayness herself. That article is a projection of her own issues onto other writers.

This stuff is exhausting... I feel sorry for old school gay people who actually have suffered discrimination and criminalization in their lives and now have to listen to this shite as if it’s supposed to represent their lives experience.

Fag hag! Oh what a blast from the past.

Cue sunlit reverie of nightclubs, Jean Paul Gaultier cologne and basking in a gay man's attention. Why did the 90s have to end?

a person who is too complicated for the simple rituals that are the pattern of our lives

Well aren't you youneek, just like everyone else?

Perhaps bridal shops need to open "Speshual Snoflakes" departments to cater for the likes of Non-Binary Bride.

What is binary/ non binary?

I thought queer is a (probably insulting) word for a gay man?

Ps this author sounds slightly high maintenance... can you imagine having to be her husband?

'honestly do these non binary identifying people think that all women feel frilly and feminine and girly and all the other stereotypes'

Have you looked at magazines aimed at preteen and tweenage girls recently? Absolutely bloody awful. No wonder they grow up thinking they have to be 'girly girly' to be female. Not to mention all the pink princess crap from age 1 day old onwards.

Other than that, I felt really envious of her husband to be. He seemed really nice, and she obviously felt really understood by him (misses the point of thread).