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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Hello all, man here! am i welcome to talk and learn a bit about stuff ?

622 replies

PleaseCustomizeCharacter · 03/05/2018 16:32

Ive done a little browsing in the feminism section and i admit its intriguing, please forgive my ignorance as i dont know alot about this all.

I just want to start by saying i was raised to respect everyone and i truly do, my view on equality is simply if some one, man or woman is good enough to do the specific job they aspire for then they have every right to get said job/goal, again if this is slight ignorance forgive me, i post this topic because i would like to learn and be less ignorant, love me some knowledge.. :)

So i suppose my question is broad and depends on the individual person's view, but what is the over reaching/ultimate goal of feminism ? or what does it mean to you personally ? and please, dont think im trolling or anything i genuinely want to learn a thing or two, thanks :)

OP posts:
leggere · 04/05/2018 15:28

Just popping back on to see how the pulling apart is going and to say I'd been posting TRA's instead of MRA's. Duh! Pulling apart going quite well I see, keep it up women. Particularly liked NoCure, that op needs to aim higher than not being violent and nasty. Good effort.Star Star

MillicentF · 04/05/2018 15:35

Oh, don't be silly, leggere.

MillicentF · 04/05/2018 15:36

OP, seriously- what do you want to know?

Original poster
PleaseCustomizeCharacter · 04/05/2018 15:44

I have no specific questions, youve given me information im looking at, as well as other searches, i freely admit i dont know enough to ask specifically aimed questions. i do want to say though i hold semi-simular opinions/views on the trans issues/community and will carry on info diving before asking more specified questions, beliefs and ideals vary and i guess i just wanted to hear some individual opinions on the subject

OP posts:
MillicentF · 04/05/2018 15:46

Individual opinions on what? Feminism? Well, I think it’s a very good thing.......

Auntnelly · 04/05/2018 15:50

How so certain? I’ve heard sadder

MrsTerryPratchett · 04/05/2018 15:55

as a man I can do my part to help show we’re not all violent and nasty.

As a man, it might be more helpful to acknowledge that many men are violent and nasty and that there is a reason for feminism. Rather than trying to convince feminists that men aren't.

I know not every man I meet has sexually harassed or assaulted a women. But pretty much every women I know has been harassed or assaulted to varying degrees.

Maybe go talk to Reddit, 4ch*n, Pist0n-heads or Pie and Mash or whatever the hell they're called and ask them nicely to stop inciting rape and murder. You know, like that bloke just did in Toronto. Because he hates women.

Original poster
PleaseCustomizeCharacter · 04/05/2018 16:09

Haha, i dont know the other 2 admitibally, but reddit and 4chan are like the ass end of forums, i highly doubt id get a reasonable answer on those sites, if a million people used it, only 100 would be good people, lets face it Smile

OP posts:
QuackPorridgeBacon · 04/05/2018 16:56

Bloody hell.

The guy asked a question.

How is he supposed to know the etiquette of how to ask the question?

Honestly it seems like some want to attack him simply because he was born a man.

OP for me personally, feminism is about 3 things:

1) Not being at a disadvantage because I happen to be a woman - so pay, hobbies etc shouldn't be different as I am a woman.

2) To not be treated as just a sexual being. I say just, because obviously sometimes I choose to be a sexual being. My choice, not a mans. A man doesn't have to fear walking alone at night. A man doesn't have to worry if his top is too low or if he's coming across too flirty in case someone does something to them and claims they were asking for it.

3) Not having my opinions valued less than a mans. Or for a varied opinion on behaviour of man vs woman. Man sleeps with 10 woman? Lucky. Woman sleeps with 10 men? Slut. Man chooses to work abroad for 2 weeks when has young child - great provider. Mother does? She doesn't love her child enough.

I feel we get nowhere by saying no men, don't support feminism. It's the few respectful, genuine men who want to adjust their behaviour that we should embrace, not vilify because many other men are vile.

I agree with all of this. I think the op has been given an unnecessarily hard time. No need for rudeness at all.

Bi11yOneMate Can I ask how further equality would have helped in your situation? Your children could only have your milk right? So how could the issue of you being at home with them have been fixed? I’m with you on your posts but that bit I’m confused by, I can’t see how more equality would fix that situation.

QuackPorridgeBacon · 04/05/2018 17:02

MrsTerryPratchett Where did he say that many men aren't? He simply said that not all men do, which is accurate and still stating that men are violent and nasty but he isn’t one of them. Many women aren’t murderers etc but some are, yet I can’t say that on here unless I want to be had a go at.

This kind of thing is why I wouldn’t make a post wanting to learn more on here. There is no point because you get made to feel like crap and told to research, which is all well and good but not so much when a lot of the crazy shit is easy to find and honestly, I’d rather people learn from the mouths of decent women than those that are crazy and more on the man hating bandwagon than anything else. I have feminist views but I wouldn’t call myself one these days because of the way we are views thanks to extremists.

MrGHardy · 04/05/2018 17:05

"it's expecting women to put themselves out for your convenience. Women tend not to expect other women to do that."

My point was this isn't about man vs women. As I said, I see very many people, whose sex is not known (although could be inferred), ask instead of researching, and they asked in general, not men or women specifically.

AssassinatedBeauty · 04/05/2018 17:22

And I see very many posters (whose sex is usually correctly inferred) descend here and demand to be informed about feminism, whilst actually not being interested in the slightest. They are usually here to goad. They often start by announcing they're men. It is a pattern that regular posters here recognise. It usually gets short shrift.

Perhaps this one is genuine and will stick around, read around and ask some interesting questions. Rather than repeatedly goad and get repeatedly banned, like the last one.

MrGHardy · 04/05/2018 17:33

That is a fair point. I was referring to another board where potential answers can come from either sex, whereas here it's women, I overlooked that.

MillicentF · 04/05/2018 17:39

"Many women aren’t murderers etc but some are, yet I can’t say that on here unless I want to be had a go at"
Why on earth do you think you would be had a go at for saying that?

ReluctantCamper · 04/05/2018 17:42

I have feminist views but I wouldn’t call myself one these days because of the way we are views thanks to extremists

yep those feminist extremists. always perpetrating violence. why just recently in Toronto, oh hang on.....

MillicentF · 04/05/2018 18:05

Quack- what do feminist extremists say that you don’t agree with?

QuackPorridgeBacon · 04/05/2018 18:08

Why the need for sarcasm?

MillicentF to be fair I think I’m slightly in the wrong with that comment. Usually it’s on threads about violence from men, but if someone mentions that women are also violent even if not the majority it tends to guarantee angry comments. But that could also be because it’s bringing up a different matter on a thread about something else. But on here the op has said that he wants to show that not all men are bad but someone else responded with, well you should be taking about all the men that are, if you get what I mean? I’m not the best at explaining myself so I’m probably making it worse.

AssassinatedBeauty · 04/05/2018 18:13

It's a common ploy of people who want to disrupt a discussion, or to goad people. "Women do it too" goes the phrase. Which we all know, but the point is that the ratio of male to female violence is so massively skewed towards men that discussing female violence is to deliberately ignore the actual problem.

QuackPorridgeBacon · 04/05/2018 18:13

MillicentF Really stupid things. Has anyone heard of fart rape? Yeah, I found that when googling feminist views or something along those lines. Absolutely crazy but many people seemed to buy into it. And other things that many believe that I don’t necessarily do so I don’t feel I can class myself under the same umbrella. I won’t say what things purely because if others want to think what they do (and many do) then they are allowed to and I don’t want to start a debate on it because my view isn’t looked upon nicely. Then again I don’t have much experience in that regard so I could also end up being wrong. I’m reading and learning most days though so there is that. I do find the feminism boards quite scary though sometimes because if you don’t know much and ask questions (I don’t always thoroughly understand what I read and seeing people word things differently helps a lot) you tend to get shot down a bit. Then again I could be wrong again because like I say I don’t come into this section much so it’s from limited viewing.

MillicentF · 04/05/2018 18:13

The OP said “as a man I can do my part to help show we’re not all violent and nasty“. Which is fine. And would be more than fine- if anyone actually did think that all men were violent and nasty.......

QuackPorridgeBacon · 04/05/2018 18:15

AssassinatedBeauty I can see what you mean. I’ve sometimes said but women too but not for one second do I believe that more women than men commit crimes. I know it’s mostly men and anyone denying that is stupid, although in recent days with new laws I guess that will all change. Sadly 😔.

QuackPorridgeBacon · 04/05/2018 18:16

Yes I see my mistake now. Worded differently it would pass I guess. To say it how it was did imply (even if by accident as clearly I didn’t see it) that all men were. Thank you for explaining that better.

MillicentF · 04/05/2018 18:16

No, i’ve never heard of fart rape. And I’ve been a feminist for 40 years.

Why do you not want to call yourself a feminist because somebody claiming to be a feminist says something stupid? Do you think that all feminists have to agree with anything any other feminist says?

QuackPorridgeBacon · 04/05/2018 18:18

I kind of do I guess. Because I don’t always agree I feel that I’m not a feminist because surely if I was I would be agreeing with everything on these boards. I also hate when not agreeing, being accused of actually being a man. So I tend to just back away and don’t go back.

MillicentF · 04/05/2018 18:25

Quack- do have a political party you support? Or a religion? If so do you agree with everything every other person says who supports or believes the same as you? I’m a lifelong Labour supporter, and I remain one, even though I don’t think Jeremy Corbyn should stilll be the leader. I’m an atheist, but I disagree fundamentally with much of what Richard Dawkins says. I’m still a Labour supporter and an atheist. I disagree with what some feminists on here say about some things. I’m still a feminist!