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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Hello all, man here! am i welcome to talk and learn a bit about stuff ?

622 replies

PleaseCustomizeCharacter · 03/05/2018 16:32

Ive done a little browsing in the feminism section and i admit its intriguing, please forgive my ignorance as i dont know alot about this all.

I just want to start by saying i was raised to respect everyone and i truly do, my view on equality is simply if some one, man or woman is good enough to do the specific job they aspire for then they have every right to get said job/goal, again if this is slight ignorance forgive me, i post this topic because i would like to learn and be less ignorant, love me some knowledge.. :)

So i suppose my question is broad and depends on the individual person's view, but what is the over reaching/ultimate goal of feminism ? or what does it mean to you personally ? and please, dont think im trolling or anything i genuinely want to learn a thing or two, thanks :)

OP posts:
thebewilderness · 03/05/2018 21:12

@thebewilderness I'm not a troll
Right. Just a nice lady who accuses women of being abusive and then doubles down when criticize your behavior. Nothing troll like there ma'am, not one single little DAVO effing thing.
I do thank you for the demonstration though.
I'm not hurting you! You are hurting me by saying I am hurting you
CLASSIC!

ToeToToe · 03/05/2018 21:12

Breastfeeding youngest to sleep so being a bit slow typing...

I added up how long I spent breastfeeding 3 babies - and it was 56 months.

By baby no3 I could practically do anything whilst the baby was on the boob.

Bi11yOneMate · 03/05/2018 21:13

No probs Lolli18 :) Flowers

I'm.really looking forward to the youngest being at school full time and getting wrap around care sorted so I can get back in there. But I'm sure I will never get back to where I was as I have had 6 years out and now I have "mum" responsibilities as well, and actually that is discriminated against. Dads don't get that.
Don't get me wrong though, I love my kids to bits and and glad I had them, but nothing really prepared me for the unfairness. I knew there would be sacrifices, but I somehow thought it could be equal and fair ...

MissReginaPhilange · 03/05/2018 21:14

@thebewilderness 10/10....youve just achieved what I've been struggling to do all week. Make me sleepy. Your so dull its like counting sheep. Please change the "effing" record love.

Bi11yOneMate · 03/05/2018 21:17

MissRegina I hear you :)

ToeToToe ha! Yes! Good grief I darent add up. - I've fed through pregnancies and tandem fed as well so it's something ridiculous Grin

lolli18 · 03/05/2018 21:18

@Bi11yOneMate I know what you mean i wanted to get back to work quicker too I just didn't feel like a contributing human being x

thebewilderness · 03/05/2018 21:18

Don't get me wrong though, I love my kids to bits and and glad I had them, but nothing really prepared me for the unfairness. I knew there would be sacrifices, but I somehow thought it could be equal and fair ...

It comes hard for you young ones.
It was bad in the sixties, but women had no illusions that we would be treated fairly just because they passed a few laws that said we were required to be.
I feel bad for the women who find out the hard way just how desperately we need to continue the fight for women's rights.

MissReginaPhilange · 03/05/2018 21:20

@bi11yonemate it's unfair but nesevary imagine if men had to bear children haha..... before I get trounced its a joke! Its hard and thankless sometimes and in ways the ultimate sacrifice. Some days I want to cry with lonliness...some days I get frustrated and overwhelmed but it's just how it goes. The biggest sacrifice anyone can ever make is to give your own life for another x

TheClitterati · 03/05/2018 21:21

For a start I would like men to stop murdering women and children, buying women and children, raping women and children, abusing women and children.

I would like men to find solutions for all the above rather than leaving it to women.

I would like men to fund women's refuges.

I would like men to participate equally in the home.

Just a few points for starters.

Great you are interested op but I would like you to do what we all do - read, listen, learn - rather than expecting it all to be done for you by women.

thebewilderness · 03/05/2018 21:22

MissReginaPhilange

Ah am overwhelmed by how extraordinarily polite and courteous you are. To men.
I do thank you for the demonstration.

Bi11yOneMate · 03/05/2018 21:22

Thebewilderness - absolutely. It was the sleight of hand that for me. My mother was a career woman in a male dominated profession in the 70s and KNEW she had to fight. So she made it plain to me father, sorted nannies, cleaners etc so she didn't have to do it all. When my generation were told it was now equal and we could have it all. Such a lie. And honestly I didn't want my kids brought up by day nannies, night nannies and even the holiday care nannies like I was...

Bi11yOneMate · 03/05/2018 21:24

Sorry that was a real me me me post. Just trying to say we still need feminism. Even in "equal" countries like ours.,

thebewilderness · 03/05/2018 21:25

I confess I did not know how badly I needed a slanging match after the past few weeks until I opened this absurd OP.

Bi11yOneMate · 03/05/2018 21:27

It's good to let rip sometimes Grin

(Steps out of the firing line....) Grin

Bi11yOneMate · 03/05/2018 21:29

I'm sorry for typos and auto corrects all over in my posts. I really should go to bed. I haven't had an unbroken night's sleep in nearly 7 years.... I wonder why that is when there are 2 parents in this house?!

thebewilderness · 03/05/2018 21:29

Bi11yOneMate

Yours is a more reasonable subject for discussion here than the OP!

ToeToToe · 03/05/2018 21:29

Don't apologise for being 'me me me'. Only women apologise for being 'me me me'. (I'm the same) and we get landed with all the grunt work as a result.

SupermatchGame · 03/05/2018 21:30

And then my biology tripped me up and showed me that actually, yes we may have equality in this country, but it's not fair.

That makes women powerful. Women make babies. Feed babies. Create life. Why do you have to frame these differences as unfair and inferior? They are not they are amazing. The biological difference between the sexes mean that men have one advantage, they are better at carrying bricks. That is it.

Those biological differences will always exist. But why this subconscious sexism that frames women as inferior, forever victims of biology? It's pitiful and negative.

There are still some inequalities but so many women are doing amazing things in science, running businesses, media, health. They achieve and become powerful. They don't blame their biological disadvantage. You make being a woman sound like a professional hazard. Unless you're revelling in that, expecting to be treated as something that cannot cope with the proximity of a man, constantly having to address your 'inferior biology' you are not a real woman at all according to this little corner of the internet.

AssignedPuuurfectAtBirth · 03/05/2018 21:31

thebewilderness
"I confess I did not know how badly I needed a slanging match after the past few weeks until I opened this absurd OP"

Oh Holy Fuck, that made me laugh. And I so concur. Please crack on

lolli18 · 03/05/2018 21:32

@thebewilderness what's your issue with men ?

thebewilderness · 03/05/2018 21:33

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

DietCoke87 · 03/05/2018 21:35

[Note to self: do not feed the trolls.]

thebewilderness · 03/05/2018 21:36

lolli18
#1 issue would be the rape torture and abuse of women presented as entertainment men "need".
What's yours?

Bi11yOneMate · 03/05/2018 21:36

Supermatch. It's our society that makes it all unfair, makes being female a negative trait (especially once you are a mother).
It's society that makes employers look down on part time or compressed hours to co parent.
Its society /patriarchy that immediately discounts part time "mum" employees for advancement.
Its society/patriarchy that does not enable good enough full time child care / workplace creches that can cope with breastfeeding employees.
It's society / patriarchy that DOES NOT EXPECT FATHERS TO FUCKING PULL THEIR WEIGHT YET GIVES THEM A MEDAL FOR DOING HALF THE WORK

It's society / patriarchy that does not put enough importance on childbirth injuries and rehabilitation.

Need I really go on?

Italiangreyhound · 03/05/2018 21:36

@SupermatchGame "Why do you have to frame these differences as unfair and inferior? "

Growing a baby in my belly certainly does not make me inferior. But I do have a dodgy knee as a result of pregnancy and had pain and irritation in my C-section scar for many years. It's just biology but the world is framed for males not females, IMHO.