Barber in Worcester refuses to cut any woman's hair

[chocolatesun]

Sorry this is long but better to give the full story, I think.

A few months ago I popped into a local trendy looking barber in Worcester to have my three year old daughter's hair trimmed. When I asked if they cut children's hair the staff said they wouldn't cut her hair because she is a girl. Something like,'we don't cut girls' hair'. I was taken aback and embarrassed but left without making a fuss.

It did bother me, though, so I called back later to clarify and specifically asked whether they wouldn't cut her hair because: (a) she is female or (b) because they don't/can't do girl's hairstyles. The staffed confirmed it was (a). I said their refusal to cut her hair because she is female is in breach of the equalities act (if it was to do with their training and ability to cut her hair, that would be different). The staff member suggested I call back to speak to the owner.

When I called again to speak to the business owner he was incredibly rude and confirmed they do not cut females' hair. He told me they were barbers and said I should go look up the meaning of barber in the dictionary. He also called me sweetheart! He was utterly misogynistic.

His attitude took me by surprise as I'd assumed the staff had just got it wrong and had been expecting a polite call and maybe an apology from the owner.

Although I was fuming I dropped the entire thing because with a baby and a three year old I really have enough to deal with. I didn't even tell him off for calling me sweetheart as I felt he was spoiling for a fight. However I've just seen that it is is now shortlisted for the MOBAA barber awards for customer service!!

What do mumsnetters think, should I drop this completely on the basis that not every battle needs to be fought? Or am I being pathetic for letting the bully barber win?

"It feels like most barbers are male only spaces"

So what?! Are men not allowed men only spaces now? They train as barbers, to cut men's hair, therefore men attend the establishment.

Half the arguments I read on the feminism threads are about women only spaces, why can't men have the same? That's not equality.

I’m really tired and first thought it was Barbara Windsor refusing to cut women’s hair. The actual title makes more sense.

@Rufustheconstantreindeer

haha. The cutting technique for my flat top was not in any way shape or form different from the cutting technique used for a man's flat top.

I've also had a number 2 cut once when I was about 17 - the barber did it. A hairdresser would probably have made an arse of it, I'd got mine to shave the sides before and she managed to cut the back of my neck.

The four blokes in Seville would cut her hair.

Glad to hear my haircut is such a source of amusement to greyhound - I have a standard men's cut, short back and sides. Women's salons just won't do it and I end up walking out looking like Princess Di, so I go to the barbers.

Barbers are not men only spaces - a barber can refuse to cut someone's hair into a woman's style, but they can't refuse to cut a men's style onto a woman's head.

I've been refused service at barbers before with excuses ranging from "it's illegal for me to cut women's hair" to "I'm too busy" (gesturing to a totally empty room) and I've never challenged it, just gone elsewhere.

My current barber is lovely. If you go in after 4pm you even get a beer

Blimey.

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/04/19/barber-gave-boy-humiliating-haircut-sent-jail/?li_source=LI&li_medium=li-recommendation-widget

I'm not surprised the manager's back was up about your phoning to complain. He was probably worried you had an agenda would try and twist this into a discrimination or feminist issue, which you have.

Lifechangesforever because those women only spaces are being invade. But no such demands are being made on men. That is why people are cross.

The degree to which people's flabbers are ghasted on this yhread shows the double standard.

You can't really equate safe spaces for women with safe spaces for men. Women want spaces to be safe from being groped/raped/sexualised by men. Men want safe spaces to... I'm not sure. I'm sure there IS an argument for safe male spaces but I have no idea what it is.

Why shouldn't men have a space they can go to that is just men? Perhaps they want to feel safe from feeling they might be saying or doing the wrong thing when they're actually not.

We men want safe spaces so we can't be accused of groping/raping/sexualising. Just because you don't understand mookatron does not mean there is no need for these spaces for both sexes.

But there aren't just men there. There are women with their children and female barbers.

You can't argue for women's seperate spaces whilst denying that men have the right to the same thing. Not for the same reasons, perhaps, but that's not in any way relevant.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar said

"You can't argue for women's seperate spaces whilst denying that men have the right to the same thing. Not for the same reasons, perhaps, but that's not in any way relevant."

Doesn't stop people doing thought does it. Over and bleeding over.

I said there were reasons but I couldn't say what they were. Which you have.

However the fear of being accused of groping someone is not the same as the fear of actually being assaulted. 'safe' means something completely different in that context.

I think the issue for me was that it was the fact that she was a girl, and nothing to do with style of haircut. We didn't even get far enough to discuss hairstyles

The receptionist and barber seems to spotted from the outset that you had a little girl with you.

I have just googled "3 year old boy". As I have very strict safe search on it returned safe photos of boys with, even at that age, boys' haircuts. Presumably therefore your daughter is clearly a girl with, regardless of what you might think, a haircut which to the barber looks like a girl's cut; which he doesn't do.

I had to check I was still in Feminism chat and not AIBU based on some responses here.

I thought single sex spaces needed to be a proportionate means for a legitimate aim.
It's perfectly acceptable to exclude women if the aim is legitimate.
But if not, it isn't.
If you are going to refuse the same service (same hairstyle) to a female that you would provide to a male you need to have your ducks in a row to justify why that isn't discrimination.

Exclusively male environment would be one reason, but to invoke the exemption properly and consistently one must exclude all accompanying women, and presumably all female barbers too.

"I just don't serve women but they can work here and sit and wait here" isn't going to cut it, that's not a male only space, and there's nothing legitimate about letting a woman and a man work in an establishment but denying only the woman the service.

Have I got that wrong?

Barracker my disagreement of the OP's position was not based on an exclusively male environment but on the barber performing a service on someone else's body. Serving at a shop is one thing (if the barber refused to sell shampoo to the OP because she's a woman, yes discriminatory) and putting your hands on another person is another. So while I don't understand why a barber would not want to wash and cut a 3 year old's hair on the basis of her sex, I would respect their right to not do so if they didn't want to.

The barber presumably justifies it on the basis he doesn't know how to cut a girl's hairstyle.

The OP's daughter is 3 years old. With many 3 year olds you can't tell if they are a boy or a girl. That was apparently not the case here.

Is it really so unbelievable to imagine the barber saw a little girl with a girly hairstyle and thought "no, I'm not going to chance messing that up"

So while I don't understand why a barber would not want to wash and cut a 3 year old's hair on the basis of her sex, I would respect their right to not do so if they didn't want to

If it is acceptable for women to ask that so far as possible all hands on treatment is carried out by another woman I don't think there is a right to quibble about a man not wanting to shampoo and cut the hair of a girl.

I don’t blame him. He’s probably wary of doing anything that involves touching a female in case he gets accused of something.

I've read a very similar story recently.

Yes, here it is.

OP if this really happened, get over yourself. It's a barbers. For men. That's ok. I'm sure there were/are a myriad of other options to choose from.

Seriously though, if you look at this barber's Insta page they do exclusively short back and sides plus extreme skin fades. There's not a single picture of a man with anything else so why would they feel confident cutting the long hair of a 3 year old girl?

Their expertise obviously lies in a certain type of haircut and beard trimming using blades, so I imagine that's why they said no to the OP.

www.instagram.com/barbertownworcs/?hl=en

If women are entitled to female-only spaces, and I would hope everyone on MN would agree that they are, then men are entitled to their equivalent.

It’s called ‘equality’.

Seriously though, if you look at this barber's Insta page they do exclusively short back and sides plus extreme skin fades

I've just googled them. They are as the OP says a local trendy looking barber. They are indeed.

And I bet they are not cheap. I very much doubt they would be a parent's choice for a little trim for a three year old boy.