Barber in Worcester refuses to cut any woman's hair

[chocolatesun]

Sorry this is long but better to give the full story, I think.

A few months ago I popped into a local trendy looking barber in Worcester to have my three year old daughter's hair trimmed. When I asked if they cut children's hair the staff said they wouldn't cut her hair because she is a girl. Something like,'we don't cut girls' hair'. I was taken aback and embarrassed but left without making a fuss.

It did bother me, though, so I called back later to clarify and specifically asked whether they wouldn't cut her hair because: (a) she is female or (b) because they don't/can't do girl's hairstyles. The staffed confirmed it was (a). I said their refusal to cut her hair because she is female is in breach of the equalities act (if it was to do with their training and ability to cut her hair, that would be different). The staff member suggested I call back to speak to the owner.

When I called again to speak to the business owner he was incredibly rude and confirmed they do not cut females' hair. He told me they were barbers and said I should go look up the meaning of barber in the dictionary. He also called me sweetheart! He was utterly misogynistic.

His attitude took me by surprise as I'd assumed the staff had just got it wrong and had been expecting a polite call and maybe an apology from the owner.

Although I was fuming I dropped the entire thing because with a baby and a three year old I really have enough to deal with. I didn't even tell him off for calling me sweetheart as I felt he was spoiling for a fight. However I've just seen that it is is now shortlisted for the MOBAA barber awards for customer service!!

What do mumsnetters think, should I drop this completely on the basis that not every battle needs to be fought? Or am I being pathetic for letting the bully barber win?

A lot of barbers do cut women's hair. More than one barber has told me that although they traditionally only cut men's hair (because traditionally only men HAD short hair), the definition/job of a barber is more 'someone who cuts and styles short hair' than 'will only deal with men and boys'.

A friend of mine (female) has very short hair and won't spend £££ going to a women's stylist. There are a couple of local barbers who happily cut it for her.

Sorry but I think you are trying to distract yourself from something else if you have actually gone to the step of ringing the barber to clarify reasons. My children used to go to a children's only hair salon. They only cut children's hair.

Some barbers will cut women's/girls hair, some won't. Some won't allow women on the premises, which means they risk losing business from single mothers. So be it.
I agree, if we want to retain women only spaces then we have to respect the fact that sometimes men want male only spaces. There's nothing inherently wrong about either.
As long as there are hairdressers/unisex barbers around that cut females hair you haven't really got a problem, have you? The fact that you wanted it done at short notice is neither here nor there. Either make an appointment, or find a Supercuts type of place.

I've had a barber refuse to cut my DSs hair on th basis that they only do short back and sides cuts, frustrating at the time but it's their business.

Lots don't even do women's short back and sides either because apperently women are "too fussy".

I'd just find somewhere else and I don't think I would have ever gone into barbers with a girl anyway.

This happened a few months ago and you're only posting about it now because they've been nominated for an award?

That sounds like sour grapes tbh. If it wasn't important enough to post about a few months back then why are you, quite literally. naming and shaming them now. Poor form imo.

Obviously the staff/owner shouldn't have been rude, but that has zero bearing on their ability to cut and style mens hair which is what the award is for.

Pretty standard. The barbers my sons and husband use don't do women's or girls hair either. They're a Barbers not a hairdressers. I really can't get upset about this.

And hairdressers are usually crap at doing short back and sides in women and try and make it look more feminine. It is VERY difficult to find a hairdresser who will actually do this kind of cut in the way a man's hair is cut.

I don't see the big deal. I'm sure there are plenty of salons that only do women's hair.
His business, his perogative, if he doesn't want your money take your custom elsewhere.

That reminds me of the time DP was desperate to get his hair cut and all the barbers are full. He called into a hairdressers and still shudders when remembering how the hairdresser 'feathered' his hair

Oh, for heaven's sake. Another person looking for offence where none is meant.

I have never come across a hairdressers that only does women's hair. And the issue is that it costs a lot more. Barbers are cheap.

I'd be annoyed, too. In fact, I was annoyed when it happened to me, but I didn't pursue it.
I had been used to going to barbers to get my (short) hair done, because it was cheaper, and there had never been a problem till I moved back to my parents' place when DS was a baby. My hair needed doing, I went to three barbers' and was turned down by each one; I went home muttering and growling about backwards backwaters and it not being the 1950s.

I can sort of see the point about men wanting men-only spaces, to an extent, and of course every business has the right to refuse customers for any reason they see fit, but there is no difference between cutting/trimming short hair on men and women. There is a difference between the methods used for cutting and styling European hair and Black/African/Caribbean hair and a lot of hairdressers are trained in one and not the other, and that's not totally unreasonable, but what's in your pants doesn't correspond to what's on your head on any significant way.

should I drop this completely on the basis that not every battle needs to be fought?

There is no battle to be fought. You are being petty and entitled.

I wandered into a barbers by mistake recently - raining, so had an umbrella up, looked through the window and and hairdressing chairs and male and female workers. Everyone looked a bit askance at me when I asked about getting a cut, but said they could 'do me' on Friday if I dropped in early. As I left I saw the barber's pole outside, so laughed and went back in and cancelled. They were all Eastern European, don't know if that would make a difference.

But I wouldn't bring a child into a barbers. Not even a male child. Unless it was v. v. cheap 😂

OP I would be interested to know the legal position on this?

I think you have every right to complain as legally if they say they cannot provide a service due to inability or lack of training (unlikely as just a trim) that is acceptable. However if they refused on unreasonable grounds and with a discrimatory reason due to her being female that is questionable. You could also complain about his rudeness especially as they want to be known for excellent customer service maybe some education and training is required first. A good company appreciates negative feedback too as it helps them improve. In meantime you could invest in some good scissors and watch some YouTube videos of how to cut child’s hair. That’s what I did and I’m still cutting their hair (19yo!) saved a fortune

I thought this was a wind-up. I'm on the side of the barber here, just as I am any other business that wants a single-sex clientele.

Ffs . Barbers aren't trained in female hairdressing. You'd be in the Daily Mail sad face column tout suite if he'd given her a short back and sides, I'll bet.

lamagrey Plenty of women want a traditional short back and sides. Their genitals make no difference to cutting their hair.

Obviously the staff/owner shouldn't have been rude, but that has zero bearing on their ability to cut and style mens hair which is what the award is for

Read the OP - the award was for customer service.....

I still find the idea that it's because it's a men only space a bit odd - I'm going to presume it has massive shop windows for everyone to see the awesome beards of the people in there - but I can go with Personal Service provision being matched sex if either party prefers.

I think it's on the edge of something though, to only employ male barbers, and use that as a justification to only cut men's hair.

Magnetic

I posted here because the award is for customer service and the owner (not the staff, in fairness to them) was appallingly rude. Ok, refusing to serve someone because they are female isn't the world's most pressing issue but I thought the staff had just got it wrong. That's why I called the owner and I was taken aback by his reply. Yes it does make me mad that I was spoken to like that and the award nomination reminded me (it's up in the window).

But it is interesting from this thread that people have different views and experiences of barbers. I will certainly steer clear from now on.

I do also agree that's it's not worth fighting and the replies here have helped me with perspective on that (thank you mumsnetters).

It would be fine if a barbers said they only do short back and side haircuts. Then they can turn away anyone who does not want this haircut.

Who are all these women with short back and sides?

I'm a female and I went to a barber to get the back shaved :S they had no problem doing my hair