Barber in Worcester refuses to cut any woman's hair

[chocolatesun]

Sorry this is long but better to give the full story, I think.

A few months ago I popped into a local trendy looking barber in Worcester to have my three year old daughter's hair trimmed. When I asked if they cut children's hair the staff said they wouldn't cut her hair because she is a girl. Something like,'we don't cut girls' hair'. I was taken aback and embarrassed but left without making a fuss.

It did bother me, though, so I called back later to clarify and specifically asked whether they wouldn't cut her hair because: (a) she is female or (b) because they don't/can't do girl's hairstyles. The staffed confirmed it was (a). I said their refusal to cut her hair because she is female is in breach of the equalities act (if it was to do with their training and ability to cut her hair, that would be different). The staff member suggested I call back to speak to the owner.

When I called again to speak to the business owner he was incredibly rude and confirmed they do not cut females' hair. He told me they were barbers and said I should go look up the meaning of barber in the dictionary. He also called me sweetheart! He was utterly misogynistic.

His attitude took me by surprise as I'd assumed the staff had just got it wrong and had been expecting a polite call and maybe an apology from the owner.

Although I was fuming I dropped the entire thing because with a baby and a three year old I really have enough to deal with. I didn't even tell him off for calling me sweetheart as I felt he was spoiling for a fight. However I've just seen that it is is now shortlisted for the MOBAA barber awards for customer service!!

What do mumsnetters think, should I drop this completely on the basis that not every battle needs to be fought? Or am I being pathetic for letting the bully barber win?

I do think it's fair to raise the point of why a women wanting a short back and sides cut probably has to pay 3 x as much for it at a hairdressers.

In publicised cases I've seen on this issue cost seems to be a big factor in why women with 'male' hairstyles try to use barbers.

An acquaintance of mine had a similar issue - she identifies as non-binary and wanted a short back and sides. Didn’t want to go to a salon as they kept getting it wrong and making it too soft and feminine. In the end she found a different barber who would do it.

I don’t think an entire business can be a male-only space, unless it’s for privacy and dignity reasons - I am not sure the cutting of head hair falls into that. Isn’t that the argument people used to use about women in pubs?

Flavia, that's what I'd thought, that women do go to barbers these days for certain types of hair cuts, and that it really doesn't matter. But it sounds like lots of people think they are male spaces and I just picked the wrong one.

I'm actively OK with anyone who performs a personal service on another person's body, to be able to decide to only perform that service on people of one sex or another.

(It is annoying that women's haircuts do tend to cost more than men's haircuts, but that's another thread.)

There's usually enough hairdressers and barbers around that someone will be able to do what you want. I did used to have my short-back-and-sides done by a barber when I was in my twenties, but that was the 1980s, when - as odd as it sounds - I don't think gender rules were as strict as they are now. (Or perhaps in the unreconsructed, low-income, pre-hipster area of London I lived then, they just liked my money.)

Might be one for the manfriday crew I suppose, but they'd probably shave something rude into their hair in revenge!

is refusing to cut females' hair 'a proportionate means to a legitimate aim'. What is the aim of the barber? Are men made uncomfortable or threatened by having women sit next to them (generally in the window!) of a barbershop having their hair cut?

I'd say not. I'd say that in that case it breaches the equalities act.

The insurance stuff is rubbish, unless you can point to a policy showing it I can't imagine that's the case - what possible difference is there between womens and mens heads and hair that could mean insurance is invalid?

If you want a hair cut that they would do on a men's head, they can do it on a woman's head.

I fed DS in the barbers the last time I went. No one screamed and ran

I think you need to get ducks in a row. We need capital punishment back first and then we can focus on Barbertown of Worcester, I can’t see any other solution beyond public execution for their terrible crime.......

I'm actively OK with anyone who performs a personal service on another person's body, to be able to decide to only perform that service on people of one sex or another.

That is a good point Annie - I think consistency on that point is probably fair. Although it does raise the question on whether they would ever employ a female barber - and if they wouldn't, I think that crosses back over the line to sexism again.

Hang on, isn't it #manfriday today. Perhaps you and your daughter could self ID as men today.

It's the same as the bloke who went to a salon to get his knackers waxed. They refused, because no training in waxing knackers, and they had to apologise etc etc.

Some barbers won't even let females into the shop, never mind cut their hair.

I think the salon was right because it's a huge training/health and safety issue, waxing genitalia. But hair cutting? No justification.

Well, maybe the stocks user. No need to get carried away.

More on this here.

www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/barber-barber-told-ditch-gentleman-10284546

Say she self-defines as a boy.

Or are male-only spaces somehow sacred?

Fuck me. Don't you have anything more important to worry about?

"OP do you really not understand that barbers are male hairdressers?"
I have had a shaved/cropped hairstyle for years. When I was at uni, after unsuccesful tries at the 'female' hairdressers, I eventually went to a barbers, where No 1 all over got the desired result!
AFAIK, there isn't any (significant) physical, biological difference between male and female head hair. There are stylistic, gender=based differences, but that is just socialisation. Plus boys can have long hair (that needs trimming and styling) just as girls can. God, some of us can remember when men got perms as well (but please, let's not go back there!). There is no reason why a barbers shouldn't be okay with a mum bringing her son or her daughter in for a trim, as long as the style and processes required are appropriate for what a barbers normally offers.

After the last thread about this, I asked the next time I was in getting my hair cut. The insurance, training and 'different hair' arguments are all bollocks according to my barber.

Yyyy waz

I'm willing to fight the case once I've finished railing against the local vegan cafe who wouldn't make me a bacon roll and the garage at the end of the road who refuse to service my pushbike

I've just googled them and they are exactly as I expected them to be. They are part of the hipster, let's reclaim our masculinity by having tattoos and beards and drinking shots of whisky sort of barbers. They are more to be pitied than scorned as my mother would say.

I've noticed a trend in hipster barbers to have "no women" or some such on the door or window.

I can see your point OP however I agree with ArcheryAnnie that when it comes to performing a personal service on another person's body, both parties should be able to choose which sex they will work with. If a customer specifically wanted a female or male stylist or barber I think that should also be okay.

God, some of us can remember when men got perms as well (but please, let's not go back there!)

Too late, teen boys are getting their hair permed in droves in order to achieve the “meet me at McDonald’s” hair style

I have found this before. It is stupid because some girls and women have exactly the same hair cuts as boys/men. but have to pay more for it at a hairdressers.