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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Manspreading - how to challenge

67 replies

RoderickRules · 19/02/2018 16:09

I was so cross this morning to see this on the train.
Six seats, three women, one man taking up too much space. Woman top left could not move her leg forward without connecting with his boot.
I really wanted to say something.
What would be a reasonable thing to say?
I didn’t speak as it wasn’t my leg bent up.

OP posts:
IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 19/02/2018 16:14

I think the woman being affected needs to ask him to budge up a bit - I don't think you can if you are not directly being squashed! He will likely just ask what business it is of yours and there's no answer to that unless you want to get into an argument about male entitlement on the tube on the way to work!
But if he's in your space, then yes, go right ahead on asking him to move up a bit.

AssassinatedBeauty · 19/02/2018 17:21

Was he sat cross-legged in the corner? That's a bit odd.

Tbh, if she's not saying anything I'd probably assume she's in a comfortable position. You can't really say anything if not directly affected. The important thing would be to back someone up if they (reasonably) ask someone else to move up.

TheGoalIsToStayOutOfTheHole · 19/02/2018 17:43

I don't say anything, but I have had fun in the past trying to spread back. Was a challenge. I have won, sometimes.

Then I saw the story about the woman who challenged a manspreader and was punched for it. So I am wary of doing that now. Though I do still do it to friends who try to spread into my space.

MillieTant2018 · 19/02/2018 19:17

I’ve started sitting like a men (only when next to a manspreader) with my legs really really wide. They always give me funny look then close thier legs and budge up 😊

MrsSchadenfreude · 19/02/2018 19:18

I have said in the pat “Please put your legs together. No-one’s penis is that large.”

GaraMedouar · 19/02/2018 19:19

Millie - I like that , Grin, I’ll have to try that if I’m in a similar situation.

alltheworld · 19/02/2018 19:21

Have this a lot. Once I put my legs between his spread ones... that put him off. And don’t get me started on arm rests

BobbinThreadbare123 · 19/02/2018 19:22

"Shift yer legs in there, fella. Cheers."

If that fails, what MrsSchadenfreude said.

I am a Scouser, living elsewhere, so the accent can be used rather stridently.

EmpressOfJurisfiction · 19/02/2018 19:23

If I'm next to the spreader & theyre encroaching on my seat, I'll put my bag on the knee nearest to them & gradually let it slip over so it ends up between me & them. I don't have to touch them & they can't reasonably object if I'm sticking to my own seat.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 19/02/2018 19:26

That's not the usual type of man spreading which tends to be look how big my balls are" knees apart posture.
Someone here recommended developing a tremor in your leg which his is touching. It tends to make them retract

BusterTheBulldog · 19/02/2018 19:29

I either ask them to move, (no one has objected yet!) or I’ll just push with my leg / bag / whatever until I’m happy with my space. I’ll do the same to anyone who encroaches in my ‘space’ though.

MrGHardy · 19/02/2018 22:10

C'mon, that's not manspreading (i.e. spreading your legs wide), that's straight up being a dickhead. Maybe kick his foot real hard and then say oops didn't expect your foot in my space.

boatyardblues · 19/02/2018 22:19

I can’t make head nor tail of that picture. It just looks like random legs and feet to me. Maybe interpretation of such images is a special skill that only Londoners have. I feel a parking AIBU-style diagram is needed to help us provincial types out.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 19/02/2018 22:23

Stuff the man spreading.
Look at how hideous his shoes and socks are!

TheGoalIsToStayOutOfTheHole · 19/02/2018 22:49

And don’t get me started on arm rests

I don't get arm rest etiquette Blush

Was in the cinema the other day, and the rest between me and a stranger was empty the whole time, both of us leaning away from it as I did not know if I should use it and I guess she was wondering the same. Neither of us put our drinks in it either. Hve always wondered what is the correct thing to do when there is one between strangers

Beansonapost · 19/02/2018 23:06

Woman spread?

I don't know why people who are being inconvenienced don't speak the hell up!!!

If I was in the position his awful foot/shoe/sock combo would be used as my handbag holder.

It I'd say the penis thing!

FridaCal · 19/02/2018 23:51

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Kokeshi123 · 19/02/2018 23:56

That's not manspreading but it is taking up too much space.

"Could you move your leg, please?" should suffice. Or an accidental shove with a handbag.

FlippingFoal · 20/02/2018 00:00

I'd have just 'accidentally' kicked his food every time i crossed and recrossed my own legs ;)

NaiceBiscuits · 20/02/2018 00:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NoMudNoLotus · 20/02/2018 00:03

@FridaCal 😂

thebewilderness · 20/02/2018 02:37

Excuse men sir, please stay in your own lane. Thank you.

pallisers · 20/02/2018 02:39

Men have testicles and so have to spread their legs more.

That is funny!

thebewilderness · 20/02/2018 03:16

It is a public display of male dominance. One of many.

SisterMortificado · 20/02/2018 04:10

Being a reasonably lardy type, I just sit down. They've then got the choice of sitting properly or being sat on.
I don't apologise or excuse myself, just bustle up and park my arse.