Manspreading - how to challenge

[RoderickRules]

I was so cross this morning to see this on the train.
Six seats, three women, one man taking up too much space. Woman top left could not move her leg forward without connecting with his boot.
I really wanted to say something.
What would be a reasonable thing to say?
I didn’t speak as it wasn’t my leg bent up.

they look so weirded out by it.

Don't they?

I told a friend of mine to 'own her space' while a man was quite forcibly trying to move her.

She's a bit of a people.pleaser so it was uncomfortable for her. She did it but not without me saying "No, you're standing there. If he wants you to move he can at least ask you" or similar.

It worked and then his wife arrived and realised what was happening. She apologised for him.

He was oblivious.

Not commuting, but in a theatre I had someone try to manspread on me. The seats had no armrests separating them, and were high so that you were sort of perched. He started spreading, and met the immovable object that was my left thigh, braced against the footrest. I kept within my seat's area, and silently insisted that he do the same.

As others have found, he just could not understand why I didn't just recoil from his leg and try and scrunch myself up. We never so much as looked at each other, and then he decided to move himself to an empty set of seats across the aisle. I silently rejoiced in my victory.

I couldn't do pavement chicken.

When someone else barges into me..I say sorry. I always say sorry instinctively even when I know it was not my fault. So pavement chicken would have me in a bit of a flap I think. Sounds interesting though

I just hold my leg solid and refuse to be made uncomfortable by the fact thy are pressing against me and obviously expect me to give way because I don't want to be touched. Nope.

And I agree - asking someone to move their bag is a lot less personal!

Oh, and men also put their rucksacks on the seats on commuter trains...

@HelenDenver Jiggle your leg that is in contact with theirs (if in your space). Guaranteed to get them to move it!

It was only about 2 years ago that I first read about manslamming and realised to my horror that I'd spent my whole adult life automatically moving out of men's way.

Not any more. Unless they are elderly or infirm I will keep on my path and silently challenge them to swerve. I have been bumped into once or twice but they usually do swerve at the last minute in confusion.

I work on a shipyard. I never move out of the way for men. I am trying to stop other women doing it too. It takes time to train yourself and I suspect initially size may play a part; I'm middling-tall and a solid size 12, so not pushable.

An older man tried to push me through the boarding barrier at an airport last year. He didn't expect me to tell him to stop pushing me and not just give in. He made some lame ass excuse after he finished spluttering.

I asked someone to move up on the train the other day. He was leaning on me and squashing me into the door when there was no need - the train wasn't that busy. He did and actually moved quite far away! Good.

If someone starts to edge into my space on the train when seated, I put my bag on my lap so that it touches their leg. Oops sorry. 9/10 times they move up. For the more intransigent (such as the door leaner) I might have to say something. I have also been known to put my bag beside me on the seat to form a barrier between me and the next person. The seats with lowerable arm rests are better for making a barrier.

I don't move out the way in the path for anyone

But then again I have a buggy that I happily use as a battering ram if I need to.

I've clipped rather a few people on the ankle "accidently" when they have suddenly stopped in front of me without looking around or moving to the side.

Funny how men on their own manspread yet most men travelling with their partner don't!

My Dh never does this on buses or trains. Doesn't feel the need to and he isn't exactly little down there either

When I was younger I had someone sit next to me on the tube and deliberately rub his knee against mine, repeatedly. I just moved. Not the best reaction perhaps, but it solved the immediate problem.

Another time in a big queue for a coach a man rubbed his crotch against my backside in the crush. I stepped back onto his foot with my heel. I didn't see his face but there was a stifled cry of pain behind me.

Funny how men on their own manspread yet most men travelling with their partner don't!

I have seen men manspreading and squashing their partners

What I find quite funny/infuriating to see is how manspreaders close their legs automatically if another man sits next to them. They don't seem to do it to each other, so I don't think it can be some subconscious thing like many of them claim. Else they would be fighting each other for ballsack space surely?

It took my DH a long time to realise just what I have to put up with being a short female.

I'd been complaining about it for a while - having men walk into me all the bloody time, particularly when they'd swerve around DH then shoulder barge me out of the way or they catch my handbag or shopping bag as they stomp past. It never happens to DH. Ever.

It took a trip to London for him to actually see it: Standing on the tube DH was horrified when a man stood in front of me, turned his back and grabbed the pole so that his elbow was level with my face. Every time the train slowed I was multimeters from being smacked in the nose with his elbow. DH in the end swapped places with me and leaned on the elbow until the twunt moved.

Luckily I don't often use public transport but a few years ago on a flight an utter asshole parked himself in the window seat that we had reserved, then when he eventually moved to his aisle seat, he proceeded to manspread so hat I was sat sideways in my seat. I did the bag on the lap trick, I pushed back and he just pushed even more into my space. So I told DH loudly that I needed to swap seats because the inconsiderate prick next to me thinks he's paid for my seat too. DH took great delight in spreading right back into the middle seat, but it made me furious that this guy was so entitled that he thought not only should he get to sit into our reserved seat, but then felt he should get my legroom!!

I find it easier to confront classic manspreading (sitting side by side with a man with legs apart) than the one where you sit opposite a man who slouches down with his bum forward on the seat so his knees go into your space and you have to swing them sideways and tuck yourself in. I have very short legs so they really have to be taking up a lot of extra space to get in my way. There seem to be fewer obvious ways of getting them back into their space - none that work.

I also experience the being bashed and pushed around thing by men who seem not to see me. Being walked into backwards happen a lot - men back away from someone, still giving the actual real human they were talking to their full attention, and sightlessly crushing bugs like me in their path. It drives me NUTS because you can see it happening for what seems like ages while powerless to stop it, and then they're trampling on you, and you're like "AGAIN" and they're all "sorry love" in surprise and you're like "how can you be SORRY when if you REGRETTED it you would have started LOOKING WHERE YOU ARE GOING?"

People who step backward is a thing I do not understand. Always look in the direction you are moving is so basic that I want to punch giant d00ds who step on me because they need not bother. Then they effing start touching me! Criminy!

I’d have moved my leg and hit his foot.
I’ve only been in London a few months but the extreme to which people won’t touch each other is weird.
I will move your leg.