I've been following this post for days and building up comments so apologies for spewing it all out in one long ramble now I have a small window of time.
I found this article, posted up thread, particularly insightful. www.nytimes.com/2018/02/07/magazine/teenagers-learning-online-porn-literacy-sex-education.html?smid=fb-nytimes&smtyp=cur It writes about how both teenage girls and boys are accessing (the same violent and degrading) porn to learn how to have sex. The programmes they reference the young people attending are not whole-school education programmes, sadly. I feel frustrated that schools haven’t been fast enough to incorporate teaching about pornography during sex and relationship education. The NY Times article says there is no established evidence-base for how to teach young people about the reality and harm of porn - which I appreciate makes it difficult for schools - but goodness, just start somewhere with something at least. It also says how desperate the people are on the programme to know what they ‘should’ be doing, what does good, mutually-enjoyable sex look like… but the programme facilitators point out it wouldn’t be ethical for them to give specific instruction - which I can see is an issue schools have.
Perhaps there needs to be a reading list or film recommendations where young people can see what that looks like. Decades before the internet and easy access to porn, that’s where we got that information from or else fumbling experimentation, still with the knowledge that it was supposed to be good for both parties. I would be onboard with a campaign to or movement which informs young women (and men!) about the joy of sex not influenced by degrading pornography. I do think the negatives of porn need to be taught too, especially where there is data for undeniable harm such as medical stats on damage caused by anal sex, the risk of erectile dysfunction, a look at the industry and the lack of ethics (which can resonate with teens) But a pro-female sex stance which empowers women to understand their desires and speak out against men would be welcome too.
This thread has been both informative and horrifying.
I want to do take more action (I have written to my MP and DDs school in the past) but I don’t know what else I can do without sacrificing my mental wellbeing. I can't handle delving deeper or reading accounts of what people are watching but then don't feel qualified to advise other people. The horror of it helps to keep those who would be concerned ignorant.
Why does it need to be women’s job to become familiar with the content, to share that knowledge with our friends and family, to protest outside Anne Summers. Ought it not be the role of someone in government or public health to be informed on this and taking action? If GPs are reporting that they are seeing an increase in damage caused by anal sex in young females, is that not enough to warrant a health campaign? Who is connecting the dots and who is responsible for doing something? Are there posters up about that in University corridors or just the ones inviting students to a career in sex work?
Maybe 6th forms, colleges and universities should be mandated to tackle this as it’s the last place where young people will be a captive audience after the age of consent.
Are there any charities or women’s organisations which distribute better information about sex to young women or information which helps to empower them? I’d be happy to contribute. Likewise, are there any websites/books/leaflets that we can direct parents and/or teenagers to be better informed and advise them when and how to talk to their children? Do any schools send out information that lets parents know what today's porn consists of? I have the Self Esteem Team Guide to sex drugs and wtfs which I think is aimed at older school age teens, and that has a chapter on porn sex Vs real sex which I'll share with my teen DD soon.
In a nutshell. I'm sick of being annoyed about what I read on a daily basis and I would like to be part of a collective action which is showing promise in having an effect. Can anyone direct me to a positive campaign/organisation/charity where I can get more information and help, but without it being the type of place where I am going to be exposed to more horrors than my mental health can handle?