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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

The word 'Ladies'

90 replies

Grammar · 11/02/2018 11:50

Is it me or is it an outmoded, potentially manipulative word?
I realise people use the word 'gentleman' but to me this word 'Ladies' is ( sorry estate agents) estate agent speke/ men who have no insight into equality/ egalitarianism.
I know quite a few women who use the word too.
I do hope this does not provoke an unhelpful or hurtful response. It is simply that I have a very visceral dislike of the word and the oft used context it is involved in.
Do please let me know if I'm being unreasonable.
What are your thoughts?

OP posts:
Iwasjustabouttosaythat · 11/02/2018 11:57

Agreed. I groan every time I post on here starts with “hi ladies”. It suggests that women always want to be addressed as ladies because deep down we’re all very precious and need our preciousness considered and validated as a mark of respect. Only then can we give a man a “woman’s insight” and help him understand the mysterious female brain. But perhaps I’m overthinking it. I don’t like the word either. “Ladeez” however is acceptable in the context of 2 for 1 drinks.

BeatriceJoanna · 11/02/2018 11:57

I don't mind it so much when used in the phrase "Ladies and gentlemen" in announcements, etc.

Other than that I hate it. Especially when a post opens with "Hello ladies" or similar.

SallyLockhartsDog · 11/02/2018 11:59

See the thread below this one in active threads 😂.

Perfect example Envy

The word 'Ladies'
ScarlettDarling · 11/02/2018 12:01

It doesn't bother me. Yes, I suppose it's a little old fashioned, but I can't get offended by someone trying to address me respectfully.

Bananmanfan · 11/02/2018 12:01

I hate it. I actually find it more offensive than 'girls', which also needs to be banished.

BeatriceJoanna · 11/02/2018 12:03

x post Iwasjustabouttosaythat

Addressing us as 'ladies' always suggests the poster is a troll. Not always of course but it always makes me suspicious.

TimesNewRoman · 11/02/2018 12:07

I have no problem with it. My DC is learning to speak and says Man and Lady, she will point and say lady when she sees one or I'll say "say thank you to the lady". Should I be saying Woman? Doesn't "say thank you to the woman" sound a bit off?

Original poster
Grammar · 11/02/2018 12:09

Yes, I agree "Ladies and Gentleman's.. .is OK

I had no idea that it was/ potentially a troll sign.
I just hate the word and so often it's implications.
Glad I'm not alone.
BTW the word was taken to task in just such a situation I was alluding to in the penultimate episode of ' Inside No 9'
Partially vindicated, I felt!

OP posts:
GuardianLions · 11/02/2018 12:10

I don't have the visceral response to it that a lot of women have - it's okay in announcements ladies and gentlemen - but I wouldn't stop other women fighting it.

I have a fondness because I know a feminist who - to subvert the hugely irritating "hi guys" when referring to a mixed group - says "hi ladies!" as a greeting. Grin

I dunno that just makes me think "Yes!".

So that's my thing

TellsEveryoneRealFacts · 11/02/2018 12:11

Doesn't "say thank you to the woman" sound a bit off?

Hows about 'say thank you'?

Blerg · 11/02/2018 12:12

I don't like it but yet I do find myself using it. If my child was about to scoot into someone (for example), I'd say 'mind that man' but I'm conditioned to think saying 'mind that woman' sounds a bit rude. Which is stupid. 'Mind that person' sounds weird also, though I do tend towards that this days after being getting someone's pronouns wrong at work at it was super awkward.

OlennasWimple · 11/02/2018 12:15

It's a funny word: said as a plural it's seen as a polite form of address. As a singular it's a bit rude ("hey lady, what were you thinking?")

alpineibex · 11/02/2018 12:17

I'm a woman yet, now I think about it, I do use 'lady' when addressing other women. Like a PP, I would say to DD 'mind the man' but 'mind the lady', because 'mind the woman' sounds a bit rude to me.
I'm not sure why. I think it's all the 'shut up, woman', 'make me a sandwich, woman' type of stuff that was rampant when I was a teen by boys.

Original poster
Grammar · 11/02/2018 12:19

'Time's I agree. It does sound a bit odd.
But I don't have a good alternative to provide here.
Infant language, I guess, is excusable in the context of not having another reasonable word. ( Though there are a few alternatives for adults).
I guess my problem with it, is with adults (esp men but women could be more aware of it too) who use it as a (albeit, sometimes unconscious) subliminal putdown.
It is more the way it is used rather than the word itself.

OP posts:
ftmtb · 11/02/2018 12:21

Wow

NotSoSprightly · 11/02/2018 12:22

I don't have an issue with 'ladies' or 'girls'.

MilkTrayLimeBarrel · 11/02/2018 12:24

I like it and love being addressed in that way. I was always taught that it is rude to refer to a female as 'woman'! I hate 'girls' and 'guys' though.

GuardianLions · 11/02/2018 12:28

All words for women are put downs and terms of abuse.
"Girl! " as in 'don't be a girl
"Woman!" as in 'that WOMAN!' (Fil v fond of that one)
"Lesbian" - needs no comment
"Lady" as in hey Lady!?!
"Mothers" - said with patronising contempt as in - "I bet that was 'mothers' protesting against those advances in gm".

Etc, etc. Misogyny innit?

Hesperatum · 11/02/2018 12:29

Doesn't bother me in the slightest. I find it odd that some people deem it offensive.

ftmtb · 11/02/2018 12:33

@GuardianLions you could say that for male terms too,
'Boys will be boys'
'MEN are disgusting'
These are all used quite commonly and hear/see them being used but no one says these words are offensive?

Why do people have to be so precious, they're just words, and especially the word 'ladies' which is usually used respectively

rosie1959 · 11/02/2018 12:33

Doesn't bother me either better than some of the things you can be called
Life's far too short to worry about it

ftmtb · 11/02/2018 12:35

Can we just leave words like 'bitch' 'slut' and 'whore' as offensive terms and all just admit the word 'ladies' is not offensive

Caucho · 11/02/2018 12:36

If you don’t like the word fine but please tell people this beforehand as all men are not physic or hang out on Mumsnet and have no idea this is even a thing

AntArcticFox · 11/02/2018 12:40

I never liked it.

But I know find myself irritated by " guys". It's ubiquitous in speech where I am. To me it grates.

So really I think it's all unreasonable of us to allow these words to irritate us.

After all both are better than "Oi, bastards!" Which is how I feel like greeting people quite often...

AntArcticFox · 11/02/2018 12:40

Now not know.

I can't stand autocorrect either..